Why do we hang on to these horrible relationships?

[No More Tears]

[quote=MsPrettiJackson;6858471]*** Oh my goodness you must have been reading my mind. WELL SAID!!! But at this point I don't care anymore what his friends and family think. I already told all of them if I decide to be with someone else oh well don't be shocked that's why I'm telling you now and if you don't like me oh well. Hell they not doing nothing for him noway. I am the one that visits every weekend, write and puts money on his books and all that. He has 1 brother that puts money on his books on a regular basis. But I told my husband that too. You have a 15 year sentence and ypu just want me to wait 15 years with nothing or nobody, he's like yes if you can well I can't and I'm not. We only live life once and life is not meant to be alone. But thanks so much for this post. ***[/quote

As I have stated, I am not the one to say "Girl you need to go!" I feel that things can be worked out to where both can benefit. However, MsPrettiJackson, I feel that your mind is fully made up regarding this matter, and there seems to be no way of swaying you on your decision. I have no doubt that you will find happiness because you seem determined. I commend you on knowing that this is not something that you can continue to hold on to. I am sure that you love him, but you want what life has to offer and being tormented by idly waiting for him is not what you want. I do understand. If you have discussed this with him and it has not changed your mind, (I hate to say this), then go ahead and free yourself of the burden. Who knows, when he comes home, maybe you can try it again.

[MsPrettiJackson]

Well when I went to visit today we were fussing because emotions tend to just burst every now and them. I told him he can expect the divorce papers in the mail and that he can have his last name back and he had the strangest look on his face then he asks "so your really going to send me divorce papers in the mail, is that what you really want to do, you don't want my last name no more I was like yes-yes & yes but I felt so bad cause he said if that's what you want to do them what can I do, I can't do nothing while I'm in here I can only do my time and try to come home". I then cried even more and told him I love him and it's not easy to go or stay cause the fact is I love you and I'm in love with you and I just want you home and there is no way for me to get you here and I have been crying for 14 months who does that. He said he has put his heart and soul in this marriage way before he came in and he has never lied to me and tell everything that he feels and though his feelings and his heart is being stomped on and I'm in no way trying to make him feel that way. I love my husband so I'm staying with him I love him but we will take it day by day and see how it pans out.

[Babydoll818]

Nice poll. I liked this one.I chose, because we hoped it would turn out well.

[No More Tears]

Originally Posted by MsPrettiJackson

Well when I went to visit today we were fussing because emotions tend to just burst every now and them. I told him he can expect the divorce papers in the mail and that he can have his last name back and he had the strangest look on his face then he asks "so your really going to send me divorce papers in the mail, is that what you really want to do, you don't want my last name no more I was like yes-yes & yes but I felt so bad cause he said if that's what you want to do them what can I do, I can't do nothing while I'm in here I can only do my time and try to come home". I then cried even more and told him I love him and it's not easy to go or stay cause the fact is I love you and I'm in love with you and I just want you home and there is no way for me to get you here and I have been crying for 14 months who does that. He said he has put his heart and soul in this marriage way before he came in and he has never lied to me and tell everything that he feels and though his feelings and his heart is being stomped on and I'm in no way trying to make him feel that way. I love my husband so I'm staying with him I love him but we will take it day by day and see how it pans out.

That is good. We have to try to fix things before throwing our hands up, and that is what you did. Very good. Of course, it will not be easy MsPrettiJackson, but with both of you working towards a solution (Him coming home), it will work out just fine.


Congratulations on your decision to stay within your marriage

[lovesostrong]

Ask God for strength. Your armor is in your bible.You are never alone when you are a child of God. Surround yourself with your love ones ,church family ,friends and find new interest/hobbies to take up some time..volunteer it will give you joy to help others..this is the worse and the better comes after he comes home. I wish I were in your shoes my love one isn't eligible for parole until 2025 release date 2055. So I see 8 years as a blessing. Whatever God's will is for your life is the best choice sit still and wait for his answer...my prayers are with you and your husband..take care

2ndchance4D.O.

[Zuweee]

Originally Posted by vera31

I think we hang on to horrible relationships because of low self-esteem and not realizing we can do any better. The desire to be loved and love in return is very strong. Plus I think we hope we can change people by being devoted to them.

This is exactly what my Uncle told me once he found out how badly my relationship was heading toward the end! I have no doubt that my ex loved me, but at some point he thought he could control me just because of it. A lot of guys start to become cocky once they realize how much they've become a part of your life. He'd test me for no reason, as if I deserved some of the things we went through. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't perfect. At some point, you realize they're too busy trying to hold you down instead of lift you up.

[India03]

it was once a great relationship.

[waitingforyou58]

Originally Posted by nanna linda

before after
It has taken me many years over 40 to figure out r/hips and to understand why some work and some dont.
We have karmic learning lessons, and we have soul mates if we are meant to have and want a r/ship in our lives, some like myself will choose to be on their own because it is meant to be that way by choice.

We are totally responsible for who we bring into our lives as a potential partner, each karmic learning lesson we enter into for our learning,with that person teaches us (if we want to learn) many things about ourselves, our fears, insecurities,our belief patterns, our strengths, weaknesses,our faults, and also we learn about others and why we brought them into our lives in the first place.
Some will choose a partner for eg, to make them feel better, secure, loved, wanted or what ever reason at the time they chose that person only to find down the track, the person they choose isnt what they thought they would be and often we will choose a person who has worse problems, insecurites, fears, faults, than we have ourselves often we will experience a person who we thought was placid only to have violent habits, drug or drink abuse.
Others will choose a partner without really knowing them and for physical attraction only, then find they have nothing in common other than that, we will choose the partner that is right for us for the lessons we need to learn they are no wrong r/ships for us, because each r/ship we have is a lesson we have chosen, we have brought that person with the lesson into our lives,to learn and grow from (if we choose its always our choice) and it is only in time we find out many things that we dont like about that person and dont want in a person that doesnt suit us.
Learning r/ship lessons will open us right to the truth of ourselves and hopefully as we go along we learn what we need to do for ourselves to face and deal with any fears, faults or insecurities we have about ourselves and we all have them.
If we go into a r/ship expecting another to put our lives right then we are in for a big shock, this is usually when we find out we have the partner form hell, because they chose us knowing we were insecure and would put up with any treatment from them because we were so emotionally insecure or feared we might not meet anyone or be alone.
The lesson with being with the partner from hell is no one else but ourselves can put our lives right and deal with our inner most fears and insecurities what ever they may be, and being with the wrong person for all the wrong reasons doesnt make a happy, loving , complete or fulfilling r/ship it just makes us miserable emotionally.
Sadly for some they will stay living in a false belief they cant have anything different or better for themselves, some are blackmailed or bullied and threatened to stay in a r/ship and others can leave knowing its alright to give themselves permission to have something better and happier.
For some it may take some years to realize they arent in love with their partner but find it easier to stay because they believe they cant make it or wont make a new life for themselves on their own so they stay living in a false happiness which is sad.
For me i could leave because i knew i had to, once i lost all respect for my husband i knew i didnt love him anymore, and that set me free, there is a time that comes to us all when we know when it is time to let go and leave without guilt to go into the future with a more positive outlook on life about yourself and what we are deserving to have in our lives from what we have experienced, and if we dont have certain experiences with partners that we have chosen to bring into our lives then we dont know what we do want and what we dont want in our lives.
When we graduate from our karmic learning lessons (which by the way not everyone will expereince) we are then ready if it is in our destiny and according to what we have chosen to recieve the right one into our lives that have also learned their karmic r/ship lessons.
Meaning when two souls are meant to join as one, their energies will bring them together and those energies will be joined as one on a soul level of love and trust, that is a soul mate r/ship on that level.
The universe sets up this meeting where two souls will be placed where they are meant to meet at the right time the universe knows when we are ready to recieve our soul mate , just as they know what karmic lessons we need to learn from before we are ready to recieve the right one.
I give thanks for all the lessons i have had good and bad, they have made me person i am today, and its great when you know how you want to be and how you want to live your life as opposed to how you dont want to be and i have had some pretty crapp hard lessons to learn from my marriage and learning r/ships physical, mental and emotional abuse.
We will stay by choice until we decide not to stay its as simple as that as i have said sadly some women and men stay in terrible, abusive,unhappy, unhealthy r/ships not everyone has the courage or has the strength to leave a bad situation, some believe it is better to be treated badly than not have anyone in their lives sadly they are the ones who dont want to learn or see the truth of themselves or their lives and that they can have so much more if they so choose it.
Some women i have talked to about their r/ships, ask why did i stay for so long putting up with all the crapp and abuse i put up with, the answer because you chose to stay too long until you worked out you lost respect and love for that person,and had the strength and courage to leave not fearing having to start a new life on your own or fearing being on your own for good, until such time you were ready to start dating or meeting and making new friends having more wisdom and insight to make better choices for yourself from what you have learned from your past experiences.
We need to trust more in ourselves and in the process of life, changes bring us to new experiences and opportunities, its great when we have that confidence knowing we can make better choices for ourselves at any time we dont have to have what isnt right for us if we dont want it.
There is alot of help now available to women and men who need it in getting out of unhealthy, abusive, violent, unhappy r/ships if you are in a r/ship that threatens you, blackmails you,belittles you, bashes you, then you need to get past your fears and get help and get the hell out before it destroys you, that is your right your self right you owe that to yourself.
Bring in arch angel michael to give you strength and protection he helped me alot over the years he is the protector of all and over evil call on him to help cut the ties and set you free.
Nanna linda.

this is so damn true. Thank you.

[calaxson]

Originally Posted by curegirl

This is something that I have been struggling with. Why do we hang on to these horrible relationship? Why don't we end it when God and everybody (Including our own guts) are telling us to? Why do we draw it out so that our pain is maximized?

This may sound crazy but sometimes I think I've actually been brainwashed into not ever letting go. How can a person put up with so much pain and not ever let go. For those of you who were strong enough to finally walk away, please let me know how. I've always been a strong, independent person. Until him.

[cblueiis]

Originally Posted by curegirl

This is something that I have been struggling with. Why do we hang on to these horrible relationship? Why don't we end it when God and everybody (Including our own guts) are telling us to? Why do we draw it out so that our pain is maximized?

I believe I have done it all my life for a combination of reasons...not wanting to be alone, thinking I was in love, needing to be needed, low self-esteem, settling for what I thought I deserved, and many other reasons! I just ended a 4 yr relationship as he has been i and out of jail, won't work and has been a burden more than a joy for me. I was settling and at 56y.o. felt that was my lot in life.....but I FINALLY followed my gut, and others, and God who was telling me to move on. I still miss him sometimes and currently am not in a relationship but I don't miss how I was feeling like he was a burden not a blessing in my life. Only you know why for yourself but I think all of us can agree there are many reasons. We have to get to the point where we've had enough in order to let go. Blessings to you....

[cblueiis]

Originally Posted by waitingforyou58

this is so damn true. Thank you.

So So true Blessings to you for taking the time to post this.

[adamsrubberduck]

Horrible is a state of mind. There are some people who live on the streets....homeless in their right state of mind who just had horrible things happen in their lives but these people are happy. They feel blessed just to be alive. I have had horrible times and I am having some horrible things happen with my relationship now but it is not a horri ble relationship and he is not a horrible person. I wish for everyone what they need and want to happen for them to have some happiness because life is too hard to be pissed off all of the time.

[lovingwifewaiti]

I hung on for too long....I didn't want to admit I made a mistake.

[cssoulsearching]

Originally Posted by Angelslady

You took the words right out of my mouth! Not too many people know that I am involved with a man in prison but the ones that do know feel as though I should leave him alone because of the things that I have told them. They dont know everything just somethings and of course its not all good. I know his history, his troubles, his fears, his joys, his aspirations. It is hard to walk away from someone when you know so much about them and the life they lead up until they were locked up and to know things that they have done even after being locked up that they may not be proud of. I feel that if I give up on him I will be just like everyone else in his past that came in only for a short while to satisfy their curiosity of who he may be and then left, only adding to his insecurities, not helping. I dont like to give up on anyone at all in my life and cant turn away from a loved one when they are at their worst because to me I know what they can be like at their best and I wont stop helping until I see the happy person back in front of me. Change for some people is difficult but it makes it slightly easier when they can look to either the left or the right and know that there is in fact someone there encouraging them to be the person that they want to be. I say that the ladies that hold on when they are in a bad relationship are loyal and passionate about the person they love and want only the best for them even when that person may not know what they themselves are capable of....we know and thats why we don't give up.

Whew i'm finished now

This is how I feel, yet sometimes I wonder if I am making a mistake, if I am enabling him to stay lazy and complacent because I work and don't push him that hard .... He notices that I am increasingly unhappy and tells me that all I need to do is tell him what I need to be happy and he will give it to me .... yet I tell him and he does nothing. I am asking him to go to school and/or get a volunteer job so a) he is at least doing something productive to look good to parole and prospective jobs, and b) so I can have the space I need to spend time focusing on my own goals. But he isn't interested for himself and apparently is not, as he says, motivated to do it for MY sake. So am I just wasting my time? That's how it was for the three months he was out before he got arrested again. All they ended up charging him with was his parole violation and he'll be out in a couple of months, and he is making me all the same promises he did last time ... this is a wake up call, it's gonna be different this time when he gets out, he'll do what I want, blah, blah, blah ...... these promises mean nothing to me, they are empty words. I want to give him one more chance to do things right because I certainly would want another chance and of course I see the potential in him that he can't see himself .... but I dread him coming home and things just going back to the same frustrating routine as before. I get angry and want to end it for good. Then I get sad and have second thoughts. I don't know what to do. But I have to figure it out quick. SIGH.

[vsnowrn]

I believe everyone reachs their breaking point...some its sooner, some might be years and years. I made man excuses for my ex behaviors. Oh it the drugs making him act that way etc...yes he is an addict, but I always heard, "I'll never touch the stuff again, but each time he got back out, he hung around the wrong people and it started all over, and I could tell the immediate behavior change. I felt after 5 years, 2 BIDs, and the same thing happening over and over, that it was time for me to get out, for me and my children's sake...It's hard to say when each person reachs that point, I pray it is sooner than later, cause I feel like I have wasted 5 years of my life, and broght 2 children into the world yet again with out a father

[MsPrettiJackson]

Originally Posted by lovingwifewaiti

I hung on for too long....I didn't want to admit I made a mistake.

I finally ADMITTED to myself this is a MISTAKE. I shouldn't of NEVER married him KNOWING he was going to prison. This experience has been more of a burden to me then joy. Now he's never abused me in any kind of way or played any games but this prison wife lifestyle gets old REAL QUICK!!! I asked him to give me a reason to stay cause no relationship makes it off of love & faith alone?!! Marriage is a business and when you sign that dotted line and you say your I do's THE WORK BEGINS, that why its said MARRIAGE IS WORK because IT IS! I told him all of this and he was like I love you and I can't show you nothing in here but if I was home. Well I can't go by "if you we're home' cause life & bills don't stop just cause you're in here. In no way am i trying to put him down but life stops for them as they know it once they get to prison and they think our life is suppose to stop too but it's not!!! I use to write my husband EVERY DAY and some extra letters with cards and pictures, constant money on his books and in the phone, had the phone forwarded and when he'd call let him talk to his family & friend, I mean I was doing everything. But now I DON'T DO NOTHING!!! I got burnt out in 16 months hell it's a financial burden and down right TIRESOME and really I don't want to do it anymore and I told him. For example if your getting 10-12 letters of more a week at least 7-10 pages w/cards & pictures and I tell you my day and everything to where we can have good convo & penmanship and u write me ONE or TWO letters a month talking about bull$hit that has NOTHING to do with what I wrote you but find the nerve to ask to put money on your books or can I ask a family member, man get the hell outta here. So I don't do nothing for him no more but visit him and I cut down on snacks during visit. I use to take $20 every weekend now I take $5-$7. I told him I'm going to live my life and ill hold on as long as I can but a 15 year sentence and this is 2012 c'mon lets be realistic!!! He starts talking about all his plans when he gets out I said I hope you know as a Felon it don't always go as planned. But neither her nor there divorce is in my plan in the near future because this is more of a burden then a marriage. A marriage is not meant to be alone nor or we suppose to feel like strangers in a marriage. So I give great respects to the ones who stay but I'm not ! Marriage is about love and romance, finance, compromise, communication, physical, spiritual, mental and more and in prison we get a bunch of damn letters with endless plans and I love you's, financially supporting them @ 100%, mentally abused and used (some women), basically ABSOLUTELY NOTHING and this is how you want me to live and be happy? Well I won't!

[Gabe&Pia4eva]

I DON'T know WHY , JUST GABE IS ENOUGH in the end its our decision to let go or keep struggling , i find meaning in my suffering and so i carry on.He is almost Saint-like in my eyes

[kevsbm]

I hang on hoping someday he will wake up and be the man/father I know he could he if he wanted this as bad as I do. And when he leaves I miss the man I wish he was, then he's back and he still hasn't changed. Vicious circle!!

[ms.hopefulone]

i've been in this relationship four years he's been locked up for 3 months so far and has been playing games with me all of sudden oh i'm going wait 3-4 days to call you so you seem like you miss me more that's what he said on the phone.Not every time on the phone am i supposed to be perfect.I deal with struggles to.I always answer his calls even if i'm working I make sure put money on his books I'm tired of playing games with him.I deserve to be happy but like someone said if you been dealing with this person for so long you don't know if you will ever have a better life besides this person.I've been there for him since day one if a man truly loves you he wont play games or kick and scream because he's not getting his way.He should be understanding and know he put himself in this situation and be there for you no matter if you have bad days and be understanding.I just seriously need advice on how to end this relationship without breaking his heart and advice would help?

[Prettylady29]

Originally Posted by MsPrettiJackson

I finally ADMITTED to myself this is a MISTAKE. I shouldn't of NEVER married him KNOWING he was going to prison. This experience has been more of a burden to me then joy. Now he's never abused me in any kind of way or played any games but this prison wife lifestyle gets old REAL QUICK!!! I asked him to give me a reason to stay cause no relationship makes it off of love & faith alone?!! Marriage is a business and when you sign that dotted line and you say your I do's THE WORK BEGINS, that why its said MARRIAGE IS WORK because IT IS! I told him all of this and he was like I love you and I can't show you nothing in here but if I was home. Well I can't go by "if you we're home' cause life & bills don't stop just cause you're in here. In no way am i trying to put him down but life stops for them as they know it once they get to prison and they think our life is suppose to stop too but it's not!!! I use to write my husband EVERY DAY and some extra letters with cards and pictures, constant money on his books and in the phone, had the phone forwarded and when he'd call let him talk to his family & friend, I mean I was doing everything. But now I DON'T DO NOTHING!!! I got burnt out in 16 months hell it's a financial burden and down right TIRESOME and really I don't want to do it anymore and I told him. For example if your getting 10-12 letters of more a week at least 7-10 pages w/cards & pictures and I tell you my day and everything to where we can have good convo & penmanship and u write me ONE or TWO letters a month talking about bull$hit that has NOTHING to do with what I wrote you but find the nerve to ask to put money on your books or can I ask a family member, man get the hell outta here. So I don't do nothing for him no more but visit him and I cut down on snacks during visit. I use to take $20 every weekend now I take $5-$7. I told him I'm going to live my life and ill hold on as long as I can but a 15 year sentence and this is 2012 c'mon lets be realistic!!! He starts talking about all his plans when he gets out I said I hope you know as a Felon it don't always go as planned. But neither her nor there divorce is in my plan in the near future because this is more of a burden then a marriage. A marriage is not meant to be alone nor or we suppose to feel like strangers in a marriage. So I give great respects to the ones who stay but I'm not ! Marriage is about love and romance, finance, compromise, communication, physical, spiritual, mental and more and in prison we get a bunch of damn letters with endless plans and I love you's, financially supporting them @ 100%, mentally abused and used (some women), basically ABSOLUTELY NOTHING and this is how you want me to live and be happy? Well I won't!

I feel the same way I told him yesterday after 16 months I can't do like I used to anymore, I am cutting the amount of money and letters I send, I send him lots of letters and he wont even mention getting them until I ask, but if I send a letter talking junk he is quick to say something about it, I can't find any happiness or contentment, in this situation at all, he has 4 years left, im burnt out already, this totally sucks,

[jfcjmc]

Originally Posted by ifound4ever

I don't think that my relationship itself is actually a horrible one; it's more the situation that I find abhorrent. It's the being separated by "time and space".
My relationship wasn't horrible to begin with and so its not horrible now!! I hate that we can't do "the normal" things that other couples can do; but because I love him I stay!! "Anything worth having is worth waiting for" and he most definitely is well worth the wait!!!

I've never been one to take the easy way out and so I look at this as just another hurdle that we'll get over!!

Your positive thinking put me back in perspective
This week I've been down so it was good to feel your positive energy
Thanx

[MsPrettiJackson]

Originally Posted by Prettylady29

I feel the same way I told him yesterday after 16 months I can't do like I used to anymore, I am cutting the amount of money and letters I send, I send him lots of letters and he wont even mention getting them until I ask, but if I send a letter talking junk he is quick to say something about it, I can't find any happiness or contentment, in this situation at all, he has 4 years left, im burnt out already, this totally sucks,

And you should feel burnt out hell I know I am. I don't even visit as much. And their so selfish it's pathetic!!! They really expect you to wait and I tell him how stupid is that???!!?? You don't care if I find somebody to help me out with bills and stuff but don't sleep with nobody, their just crazy as hell not to mention living in a fantasy world. I just got the phone turned completely off, I don't write at all and since I just got laid off I'm jot going see him or taking no money when I go!!! I said him I am laid off and MY HUSBAND can't even be here while I'm at my worst but he want me to stay with him while he go thru his

[bf85]

I am in a strange position myself. My ex husband is incarcerated. Long story short he is an ex husband for a good reason, but I still have an incredible protective drive for him. I know he has issues I can't fix but i do think his time in prison has calmed him down. I am afraid for when he is released because his past actions have burned all his bridges with his family and his current wife who another long story short are each enablers in his problems.

I just wish the best for him--but feel so worried and helpless to do anything. I knwo is was his choices that led him to prison, and therefore nothing I do can fix it...but I keep trying. I am not sure if I am a hinderance or a help in his life since I know he still has serious romantic feelings for me where I do not. I care for him like a fierce friend, like a best friend but I am too weary to let things go back down the romantic road.

He also has no place to go after his release. It scares me knowing he very likely will be homeless or in a homeless shelter after his release in another state. I offer him a place with me ..but I also worry if I am just overlooking serious issues in my fear and incredible instinct to help him and protect him from harm.

I have to remind myself a lot: its not my fault he was incarcerated .He has control of his future when he gets out, he knows this and I have to trust in him doing his best to change or be at peace with that helpless feeling of having no control over someone else's actions. But I can't give upon him.

Does this sound stupid? It probably does objectively but I'm not sure I could hold my head up proudly if I didn't do what I could to help him to the best of my ability. The hard part is figuring out just how much I can afford to do mentally, finacially, and what it will mean to my life. I could loose my family like I did when I was married to him, but can I afford that more then he being homeless? Its a hard choice. Again I just have to hope and trust in other's doing the right thing and hoping my own choices in the past and my actions now let them judge me in a fair light and yeah..just trust in others more and trust how I have presented myself to my loved ones .

Sigh.

[MsPrettiJackson]

Originally Posted by bf85

I am in a strange position myself. My ex husband is incarcerated. Long story short he is an ex husband for a good reason, but I still have an incredible protective drive for him. I know he has issues I can't fix but i do think his time in prison has calmed him down. I am afraid for when he is released because his past actions have burned all his bridges with his family and his current wife who another long story short are each enablers in his problems.

I just wish the best for him--but feel so worried and helpless to do anything. I knwo is was his choices that led him to prison, and therefore nothing I do can fix it...but I keep trying. I am not sure if I am a hinderance or a help in his life since I know he still has serious romantic feelings for me where I do not. I care for him like a fierce friend, like a best friend but I am too weary to let things go back down the romantic road.

He also has no place to go after his release. It scares me knowing he very likely will be homeless or in a homeless shelter after his release in another state. I offer him a place with me ..but I also worry if I am just overlooking serious issues in my fear and incredible instinct to help him and protect him from harm.

I have to remind myself a lot: its not my fault he was incarcerated .He has control of his future when he gets out, he knows this and I have to trust in him doing his best to change or be at peace with that helpless feeling of having no control over someone else's actions. But I can't give upon him.

Does this sound stupid? It probably does objectively but I'm not sure I could hold my head up proudly if I didn't do what I could to help him to the best of my ability. The hard part is figuring out just how much I can afford to do mentally, finacially, and what it will mean to my life. I could loose my family like I did when I was married to him, but can I afford that more then he being homeless? Its a hard choice. Again I just have to hope and trust in other's doing the right thing and hoping my own choices in the past and my actions now let them judge me in a fair light and yeah..just trust in others more and trust how I have presented myself to my loved ones .

Sigh.

He is you ex husband and have another wife so why do you thinks its you responsibility to care for him? Move on with your life and your family. If your willing to give up your family, go through financial setback, an emotional roller coaster then that simply means you value him more than yourself. He is not your responsibility so just be his friend. It sounds like u still have feelings for him and want to be with him. Are you willing to except your family turning their back on you and your his EX wife! But whatever your choices are its your decision.

[lovingwifewaiti]

Originally Posted by kevsbm

I hang on hoping someday he will wake up and be the man/father I know he could he if he wanted this as bad as I do. And when he leaves I miss the man I wish he was, then he's back and he still hasn't changed. Vicious circle!!

Just a thought to think on, you miss the man you know he could be. Remember we all dream of how it could be but the reality is will it ever be? We can't change who or what they represent. Please keep that in mind as you live each day. Make sure you are a happy person in what you choose. Life is hard enough and it is too short to not be happy.