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fstacy3074 · #1 09-12-2010, 08:55 PM

Hi. Some will remeber me from the thread "I met his wife", which has 11,000 something views.. lol wow! It's been a crazy long road, and not all of you will agree. I left him for quite some time, and yet we always seem to come full circle back to one another. Just as I had some expected rude or snide comments left last time, I am sure I will again. Thats ok, its an opinion, which everyone has the right to, just as I have the right not to be affected by the opinion of others.
I posted in this forum because he is super close to being eligble for parole.and is coming home to me, I am his sponsor.. He has filed (FINALLY) for a divorce. (was not playing this someday game with him again, like last time. it was file or I aint gonna be here) It's been a long, crazy, hard road, one of which I am hoping will have a happy ending. We will see.
I won't know, If I don't try. I have a friendly relationship with several of his baby mamas and several of his children. A few, of course, are not down to create that friendship. I am however, doing what I can to make this as easy and drama free as posible.
His almost ex-wife, has

AGAIN had another child with someone else. and she is, of course NOT into having any sort of friendship with me, and that is her right, and understandable.
Just thought I would leave an update, and say hello to those who remember me..

Stacy

Brianssong · #2 09-12-2010, 09:13 PM

'several of his baby mama's'

HOW MANY ARE THERE???? good luck to you! i hope he's changed for your sake.

fstacy3074 · #3 09-12-2010, 09:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brianssong

'several of his baby mama's'

HOW MANY ARE THERE???? good luck to you! i hope he's changed for your sake.

if you are ever board, read the thread 'met his wife' it explains the whole long cra

zy story. Here is the shocker.. lol 9 kids 6 mamas.. I KNOW, it's insane to have that many of either. and I am crazy to be with him, lol but I love him!

gods mercy · #4 09-12-2010, 09:19 PM

I hope every thing works out for you two, good luck.....

LoneStarState · #5 09-12-2010, 09:22 PM

Never read your other posts but good luck! LOVE is amazing enjoy!

goodkarma · #6 09-12-2010, 09:47 PM

I'm glad you are sharing your story on PTO, no matter what anyone thinks

Good luck to you and congrats on your LOVE!

esteli · #7 09-12-2010, 09:59 PM

ok Stacy, 9 babies and 6 baby mamas. That sure raises an eyebrow or two. But hey you are a grown woman and are making this choice to be with him. Oh I see you are also trying to play peacemaker, bring em all together, be head of the haram type woman role with the others. Personally I think that's a waste of time and energy. But again that's your choice. Best of luck to you and him and all the children and all the baby mamas.

Hope he has enough money to pay child support and still contribute to your own household...unless you are going to pay all that for him too. Sorry just putting this in perspective.

fstacy3074 · #8 09-12-2010, 10:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by esteli

ok Stacy, 9 babies and 6 baby mamas. That sure raises an eyebrow or two. But hey you are a grown woman and are making this choice to be with him. Oh I see you are also trying to play peacemaker, bring em all together, be head of the haram type woman role with the others. Personally I think that's a waste of time and energy. But again that's your choice. Best of luck to you and him and all the children and all the baby mamas.

Hope he has enough money to pay child support and still contribute to your own household...unless you are going to pay all that for him too. Sorry just putting this in perspective.

lol head Of the harem eh. hmmm interesting outlook. but like i said, opinion is opinion. i totally get it though. looked in i would also be like Wtf.. looked at this from all angler? every which way to determine if it was worth it, if i wanted to do this. also wouldn't say peace maker so much as i just dont want drama. ultimately, with all that comes with him, there is bound to be some. but if i can eliminate some, i will. i love him. its worth it. it works or it doesn't. but i intend to try. as for paying for child support and all that, its worked out.

esteli · #9 09-12-2010, 10:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fstacy3074

lol head Of the harem eh. hmmm interesting outlook. but like i said, opinion is opinion. i totally get it though. looked in i would also be like Wtf.. looked at this from all angler? every which way to determine if it was worth it, if i wanted to do this. also wouldn't say peace maker so much as i just dont want drama. ultimately, with all that comes with him, there is bound to be some. but if i can eliminate some, i will. i love him. its worth it. it works or it doesn't. but i intend to try. as for paying for child support and all that, its worked out.

well I'm just saying...but I get it too, if I was all in love with someone ---nothing would stop me either.

yeah be careful on the peacemaker role, I suggest staying a bit away from them all. Sometimes even with the best of intentions things can go bad. I really hope you find your happiness. Good luck.

ifound4ever · #10 09-12-2010, 10:17 PM

Best wishes!!!!

crazy2010 · #11 09-12-2010, 10:33 PM

Well I wish you the best. I don't think your ever going to have it with him. Its taken him how many years to file for divorce? I wonder how many more it will take to actually get him to commit to you? I did go read your old post I do understand you I just don't think you see him for what he is. But you seem to think he's the pot of gold so have at him!! I hope he can make you as happy as you seem to think he will. I thank god he's your problem and not mine!

scd123 · #12 09-12-2010, 10:37 PM

Well, I don't know your story, although now I'm tempted to check out that old thread...but I do want to wish you luck!

fstacy3074 · #13 09-12-2010, 10:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by crazy2010

Well I wish you the best. I don't think your ever going to have it with him. Its taken him how many years to file for divorce? I wonder how many more it will take to actually get him to commit to you? I did go read your old post I do understand you I just don't think you see him for what he is. But you seem to think he's the pot of gold so have at him!! I hope he can make you as happy as you seem to think he will. I thank god he's your problem and not mine!

I thank you for stating your opinion in a fairly civil manner. I am probably crazy. Hell anyone doing this has to be a lil crazy

As for the divorce, I guess he didn't want to and or need to when I left for the few yrs I did. She doesn't even live in the state anymore, he just never paid to have it done. I agree that had he wished to do so, he could have. I also know, that I was not going to be in the picture until he did. Pot of gold.. lol I don't know about that! I just know, I love him, and if it works out, great. If it does not, I tried and will have no regrets.

johnsgirl81 · #14 09-12-2010, 11:52 PM

I have no room to judge anyone so good luck and I hope that it works out for the both of you.

BlueEyedEllie · #15 09-13-2010, 07:19 AM

well,they say karma is a you know what.I hope he doesn't leave you someday the same way he's leaving his wife.It always boggles my mind when a woman KNOWS her man has had numerous women/babies mammas yet still thinks she is his one and only and always will be??!!

fstacy3074 · #16 09-13-2010, 04:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by marcsbeth

well,they say karma is a you know what.I hope he doesn't leave you someday the same way he's leaving his wife.It always boggles my mind when a woman KNOWS her man has had numerous women/babies mammas yet still thinks she is his one and only and always will be??!!

he didn't leave his wife. she continued to get pregnant numerous times by different men. i left the situation for a few years. time enough for them to have reconciled if in fact that's what he and she wanted.

fstacy3074 · #17 09-13-2010, 04:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by johnsgirl81

I have no room to judge anyone so good luck and I hope that it works out for the both of you.

Thank you=)

fstacy3074 · #18 09-14-2010, 02:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by goodkarma

I'm glad you are sharing your story on PTO, no matter what anyone thinks

Good luck to you and congrats on your LOVE!

Thank you!, It means a lot to have people be supportive. My own situation has definately taught me not to judge anyone.

prodicaldaugter · #19 09-14-2010, 03:19 PM

I haven't read any of your previous post **yet** (but from this post and comments I can kind of assume some things) ... But even with that I am in no place to judge you or anyone else on here (I was reminded of this in church this past Sunday) ...

Ma I don't feel that him having 9 children and 6 different baby mommas make him a bad person nor a untrustworthy person ... we all have made some very poor choices in our lives, especially when we are younger. However maybe his questionable actions during his marriage would lead some to feel that way, but what and how you feel about it is really all that matters in your situation ... I would just caution you on trying to keep the drama to a minimum, and being too sociable with these women it's his job to make sure he is properly handing his business on all fronts, let him be a MAN and FATHER to his children you should be there for support.

But in any case I pray that he has truly changed and will be a better man to you than he was to those before you and I pray you many blessings and happiness with your future ...

***This in NO way means that I agree with cheating, interfering, or breaking up a marriage by anyone ... I am a WIFE and would be ready to go to WAR about my marriage***

JaiDan · #20 09-14-2010, 03:36 PM

Hello! I never really noticed your first thread about it, but after noticing you and I have one similarity (man with may babies and multiple baby mamas) I checked it out. I am not sure if your thread here began for support. It doesn't seem like it was. Maybe just to update everyone as many of us prefer PTO soap operas rather than the kind on TV. If that was the motivation, good job, Emmy is awarded to....

I hope good things come out of this situation for you. I notice differences between you and I. My man was NOT commited to, let alone married to, anyone else when we fell for each other. Like yours, we remained friends for a while before I couldn't help myself. Unlike you, I was never a friend with "benefits" on the outside, for which I am grateful. He respected me too much when he had the chance to use me in that way. Like you though, I know I am going to have a lot to deal with when it comes to remaining peaceful with his baby mamas and children. I realize income is going to be an issue due to child support. We also have a plan once he is home and it never has been him relying on my money, because I pretty much live check to check now and he stays very close to broke where he is and he is OK with that as long as this bid is about me, and only me. Mine never gets visits from anyone else.

Here's something I picked up on though. You seem to really desire the attention, even if it is negative attention. You seem to have wanted the guards and visitors to have something to "ooh" and "ahh" about. You seemed to want his wife to be embarrassed and you seemed as though it put you in a more positive light to call out the number of abortions the wife had and the fact that she has a child now. It seemed to be a production to you and that is just not respectable. No matter how the wife behaved, he found something in her to make her a wife, no? I am reminded again that how a relationship starts is the way it will end. Just keep in mind you may get what you ask for and the show may star you someday as it did this time with the wife.

As a fellow PTO sister, I pray this will work out. It would be awesome for you to come back here five years from now saying that y'all are married, he is loaded with money and can easily support his children and you financially, and (the big kicker) that you guys have been able to repair and restore the relationships he lost with his children. I really hope you can do that someday. Blessings.

fstacy3074 · #21 09-14-2010, 08:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by prodicaldaugter

I haven't read any of your previous post **yet** (but from this post and comments I can kind of assume some things) ... But even with that I am in no place to judge you or anyone else on here (I was reminded of this in church this past Sunday) ...

Ma I don't feel that him having 9 children and 6 different baby mommas make him a bad person nor a untrustworthy person ... we all have made some very poor choices in our lives, especially when we are younger. However maybe his questionable actions during his marriage would lead some to feel that way, but what and how you feel about it is really all that matters in your situation ... I would just caution you on trying to keep the drama to a minimum, and being too sociable with these women it's his job to make sure he is properly handing his business on all fronts, let him be a MAN and FATHER to his children you should be there for support.

But in any case I pray that he has truly changed and will be a better man to you than he was to those before you and I pray you many blessings and happiness with your future ...

***This in NO way means that I agree with cheating, interfering, or breaking up a marriage by anyone ... I am a WIFE and would be ready to go to WAR about my marriage***

I agree, he needs to form a relationship with his children. Getting along with as many of the MB as I can should just lessen the drama.. I hope. I thank you for stating your opinion in a matter that is supportive/non judemental even in the areas you do not agree with. Posting on here, I knew it would not be all hearts and roses lol But it's not stopped me from posting the events of our lives and or my stand before, and I will continue to do so. It does make it easier to see other views when I am not feeling defensive. So, again,.. thank you. The cheating.. yes not so cool. Not sure if you have read the old posts/thread.. but he married her after coming outta seg and by proxy. She promptly got pregnant and aborted that one... two wrongs do not by any means make a right, but I would feel more inclined to think I helped 'break this marriage up' if she was indeed being a good wife a faithful wife, it was not the case. Indeed, I left the situation for two yrs and she had two more pregnancies.. and more drama. Wife of the year, she was not. Again, does not excuse it, but I feel ok being in this situation, the papers are filed.. the end of their marriage is in sight. If he cheats on me.. yup that will suck, and a lot of you will think I deserved it. Guess I love him enough to try and see what happend.

**LeBeau** · #22 09-14-2010, 09:06 PM

Oh, Baby, I do remember you and, DAMN, Girl, I hope you know what you're doing.
A man's history with women is a pretty good indicator, usually, of his future performance and this dude worries me mightily... I'm sure he's charming and great fun and all the other stuff that can make a girl weak in the knees but (besides your heart) I'm worried for your financial future, 9 kids is a tremendous commitment, in time and money.... and that will, not might, will impact the life you hope to build.... and if you plan to have children, you have to consider, in purely practical terms, what he'll have left, emotionally, physically and financially, for your children.... and, Sorry, Hon, but it's not like he's won any father of the year trophies.... I hope that you're either not having kids or that you'll at least postpone it for two or three years and let him SHOW you, out here, in real time, that he's more ready now to meet obligations than is apparent from his past behavior.

Also,don't buy anything jointly with him and do not co-sign anything- not a loan, not a lease, not a video rental account- Your heart is clearly in this, and I know I'd be barking at knots to beg you to slow down and just date for a while after his release, but please, please guard your bank account and credit rating until you've had a couple of years to evaluate the wisdom of joint finances.

crazy2010 · #23 09-14-2010, 09:22 PM

I think you will get exactly what your seeking. Good Luck!!

Tjames85 · #24 09-14-2010, 09:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LeBeau

Also,don't buy anything jointly with him and do not co-sign anything- not a loan, not a lease, not a video rental account- Your heart is clearly in this, and I know I'd be barking at knots to beg you to slow down and just date for a while after his release, but please, please guard your bank account and credit rating until you've had a couple of years to evaluate the wisdom of joint finances.

I think this is advice we all need to follow.

fstacy3074 · #25 09-14-2010, 09:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by XOXO120410XOXO

Hello! I never really noticed your first thread about it, but after noticing you and I have one similarity (man with may babies and multiple baby mamas) I checked it out. I am not sure if your thread here began for support. It doesn't seem like it was. Maybe just to update everyone as many of us prefer PTO soap operas rather than the kind on TV. If that was the motivation, good job, Emmy is awarded to....

I hope good things come out of this situation for you. I notice differences between you and I. My man was NOT commited to, let alone married to, anyone else when we fell for each other. Like yours, we remained friends for a while before I couldn't help myself. Unlike you, I was never a friend with "benefits" on the outside, for which I am grateful. He respected me too much when he had the chance to use me in that way. Like you though, I know I am going to have a lot to deal with when it comes to remaining peaceful with his baby mamas and children. I realize income is going to be an issue due to child support. We also have a plan once he is home and it never has been him relying on my money, because I pretty much live check to check now and he stays very close to broke where he is and he is OK with that as long as this bid is about me, and only me. Mine never gets visits from anyone else.

Here's something I picked up on though. You seem to really desire the attention, even if it is negative attention. You seem to have wanted the guards and visitors to have something to "ooh" and "ahh" about. You seemed to want his wife to be embarrassed and you seemed as though it put you in a more positive light to call out the number of abortions the wife had and the fact that she has a child now. It seemed to be a production to you and that is just not respectable. No matter how the wife behaved, he found something in her to make her a wife, no? I am reminded again that how a relationship starts is the way it will end. Just keep in mind you may get what you ask for and the show may star you someday as it did this time with the wife.

As a fellow PTO sister, I pray this will work out. It would be awesome for you to come back here five years from now saying that y'all are married, he is loaded with money and can easily support his children and you financially, and (the big kicker) that you guys have been able to repair and restore the relationships he lost with his children. I really hope you can do that someday. Blessings.

Hi..

Seems we have a few things i common. However, I will have to disagree about the attention seeking part. I was under the impression that I could come, post and vent. knowing all along, not everyone will agree, or even support for that matter. I did not want or seek the attention of guards, or others.. it was simply a crazy situation. One, indeed, I put myself in, as did she. I am not 'happy' to call out the numerous abortions or child she had. its simply fact, and it does clearly show, that she is not sitting there trying to do his time with him all the while being a good supportive wife and along came Stacy, trying to steal her man. thats NOT the way it was/is. . thats was my only point.
I may come on in 5 yrs and tell you all its wonderful. I may come on and tell you all it didn't work out. I do not know what will come of it.. I know I love him, and will do what I can to be happy. I hope you and your man have all the happiness in the world.