So Angry~Pregnant by a man in prison and I don't want the baby.

[queataboo]

I'm 30 weeks pregnant by a guy that is currently in prison, we're not on talking terms. I've grown to hate him and this baby that is growing inside of me. I don't want nothing to do with him nor this baby. I already have a daughter I'm raising alone, it isn't fair to me that I have to raise another one. My mother is making it difficult for me because she doesn't want me to give the baby up for adoption. I know if I give her custody, she will try to make me be involved with the baby. I don't even want to hold nor see the baby after delivery. As far as I'm concerned, I only have one child.

[foolsjourney]

Seek Counseling. Giving up your baby is something you do only after a long time of great contemplation. Not out of anger.

[PreciousLyrics]

im raisin 4 kids alone...its not ur childs fault..it didnt ask to be conceived...

[hisbabyny]

im so sorry that you are in such a painful situation. i understand how you feel because i was a single mom with my daughter for 12 years, she is now 22 and out on her own. then 10 years ago,i got married and had a son and now divorced my ex, and am stuck again raising my son basically alone. this man does not want to help me, although he says he wants me to give my son to him. i love my son and i stayed in a bad marriage almost 10 years because i didnt want to be a single parent again but my marriage became so bad and i became so sick that i felt i had no choice to be on my own. my pastor told me i could focus on my fear or on my faith. it is a struggle everyday. im not sure whats gonna happen, my son is 8 and i have a hard time handling him. i just want to make the point that maybe somehow you can get some support for you. if you were able to separate the baby from its father would you want it? if you still feel like you cant handle another child on your own, believe me i understand it is very very hard. i have no help from grandparents or whatever. his family wont help unless i give my son to him, so im just taking one day at a time. i wish you only the best whatever you decide, please just get help to take care of you. and figure out what is best for your baby. i'm glad to hear that you do have a mom standing by to help you, but ultimately you have to do whats best for you and the baby. either way i pray for you to get guidance and all the assistance you need. women give so much of themselves. please just take some time for healing and gentleness with yourself so you can make a clear headed decision. there are many ladies here who understand your pain and send out blessings and peace to you

[Geauxin'KraZee]

Being a grand mother myself, I understand how your mother feels! However, I do understand how you are the one having to go through this ordeal. You are the only one who can decide what's best for this child. You will possibly end up resenting this child if you keep it. I say this because you say you feel like you hate the father and the baby. I just can share with you that I went through a similar situatio and it's really blowing my mind , because I too, wanted to give up my last child because I was going through a divorce and didn't want to be a single parent to three children and I too felt like I hated this baby. Long story short, I kept her and today, Jan 6,2011, she is twenty five today at 1:44 pm ! Can't picture my life without her. Just wished her happy birthday and talked baby goo goo talk to her 18onth old daughter . Whatever you decide to do, good luck to you and remember, it's not the babys fault. Give this child the best chance at life that you can in whatever way you can, even if it means adoption.

[BlueEyedEllie]

I have always thought adoption is a wonderful,unselfish gift a birth parent can give their child if they're unable or unwilling to care for it.this is your life not your mother's.I would think things through very thoroughly before coming to a decison.may i gently suggest you try and temper your anger towards your baby??!!There is evidence that shows a baby in utero can feel it's mother's emotions.While it's understandable(your anger)your precious baby didn't ask to be conceived.I would suggest counseling if at all possible.

[stacy101]

It isn't fair to YOU. Who made you lay down and create the baby? What's not fair is for you to talk about that baby that way. Please give the baby to someone that will love him or her unconditonally.

[NurseDown]

I'm sorry you're going through all your hardships, I really am! However it upsets me very much when a woman who is pregnant talks about her unborn baby that way. I'm sorry but honey, it took little to no effort on your part to make this baby and it's a special gift a woman can ever get! God only knows I've tried for 5 years to have one with no success until recently! In my eyes having a baby is a blessing and if you don't want to take the responsibility to raise it or give it a good home then please make sure you find someone who struggled as I did to conceive because they will worship the ground this baby walks on! It's not the baby's fault at all!!!

[thugwife]

WOW, your first post on here and this is what I read? OUCH!

Its a sad thing that some people cant get pregnant, and you feel this way.

I hope you give the baby to someone who will love it, and not do something really stupid and harm the child.

You are holding the child responsible and it is not the childs fault. If you didnt want to get pregnant you should have took precautions to NOT get pregnant.

This is by far the most disturbing post I have EVER read on here, and people who know me, know that I am doing my best not to lose my mind on this thread alone.

I dont want to wish you luck, I wish the child luck that it will find someone to love and care for it.

Its a sad shame that its not illegal for some people to get pregnant.

[JKB's Girl]

I can't say that I relate fully to your post, however I can understand being upset about being pregnant. I was less than pleased when I found out I was expecting my third son, I already had a two toddlers, my second son was only 6 months old when I found out. I was pissed, pissed at myself, pissed at his dad, but never mad at the baby. I did not believe in abortion, but if I had, I probably would have aborted him.

I tell you that to tell you this, my youngest son is the greatest kid ever, EVER!!! He was a beautiful baby, a sunny natured child, never saw a stranger, always had a smile on his face, danced wherever he went. He is now 27 years old, the most responsible of my children, level headed, mature, always concerned about me, he is probably the biggest blessing of my life.

I would also suggest counseling, it is obvious you need it and most of all, please love that baby, he/she did not do anything to deserve your animosity.

[Mrs. Happy]

Im sorry for your pain and i feel bad for that baby you are carrying. However i dont uderstand why you hate that baby! Its not right that you take your anger out on your baby! How old are you? Just curious cuz you sound like a baby yourself. Babies are innocent, precious gifts from God! What did the baby do to you? What about the child you already have? What are you gonna tell her? That you hate the baby? My prayers go out to you and your baby.....

[JaiDan]

It's not the baby's fault, but we can't tell you how to feel. I feel like my ma hates me primarily because of my father too and it feels awful.

However, I encourage adoption to hopefully keep this baby feeling wanted. It would be shameful and a disadvantage to the baby if the baby was born and you were emotionally, verbally or even physically abusive to it because of the resentment you have to the dad.

I promise you on everything I know a woman, one of my best friends, much like a sister, who would love to have your baby! I promise on everything. She would make a great mother. She loves my children as if they were her own. If you are serious, we are in the Chicago area and would be willing to talk to you. Message me.

[mrs.bug]

Originally Posted by queataboo

I already have a daughter I'm raising alone, it isn't fair to me that I have to raise another one. .

It's not fair that this baby got stuck with someone who didn't want him. Give him to someone who does. (adoption)

[HiS BiiBii 2123]

Regardless if you hate the father of your child or not, ITS YOUR BABY! ITS YOUR CHILD, GROWING INSIDE YOU, IM JUST IN SHOCK YOU CAN SAY SUCH THINGS ABOUT YOUR OWN BABY. GET SOME HELP.

[SexyChef1]

Sweetie one of my sons was conceived via rape by a step family member and I love him no less than the one who was conceived in love. Please don't do anything to harm that helpless baby who didn't ask to be in your womb. There are families who would love and give that child everything you don't want to. Allow that child happiness please. I'm begging on behalf of that sweet baby.

[mrscjs]

Originally Posted by hisbabyny

im so sorry that you are in such a painful situation. i understand how you feel because i was a single mom with my daughter for 12 years, she is now 22 and out on her own. then 10 years ago,i got married and had a son and now divorced my ex, and am stuck again raising my son basically alone. this man does not want to help me, although he says he wants me to give my son to him. i love my son and i stayed in a bad marriage almost 10 years because i didnt want to be a single parent again but my marriage became so bad and i became so sick that i felt i had no choice to be on my own. my pastor told me i could focus on my fear or on my faith. it is a struggle everyday. im not sure whats gonna happen, my son is 8 and i have a hard time handling him. i just want to make the point that maybe somehow you can get some support for you. if you were able to separate the baby from its father would you want it? if you still feel like you cant handle another child on your own, believe me i understand it is very very hard. i have no help from grandparents or whatever. his family wont help unless i give my son to him, so im just taking one day at a time. i wish you only the best whatever you decide, please just get help to take care of you. and figure out what is best for your baby. i'm glad to hear that you do have a mom standing by to help you, but ultimately you have to do whats best for you and the baby. either way i pray for you to get guidance and all the assistance you need. women give so much of themselves. please just take some time for healing and gentleness with yourself so you can make a clear headed decision. there are many ladies here who understand your pain and send out blessings and peace to you

Wonderfully said are your comments to this lady. I sure hope she takes your advice and takes time to really think before making such a life changing decision for herself and her child and baby on the way.

[SexyChef1]

I must add my son is now 27 and working on his PHD I couldn't be prouder nor love him more. He's never been a moment of shame nor trouble ima proud mama.

[scd123]

I really hope you consider adoption. There are so many couples out there willing to give anything to be parents, that are unable to have children. My biggest fear in the world is that I am unable to conceive. It really hurts to read that someone would not want a precious life growing inside of them, meanwhile I'm terrified I will never get that chance.

Anyway, I hope you decide to do whatever is best for the child. Good luck.

[mom981]

Originally Posted by queataboo

I'm 30 weeks pregnant by a guy that is currently in prison, we're not on talking terms. I've grown to hate him and this baby that is growing inside of me. I don't want nothing to do with him nor this baby. I already have a daughter I'm raising alone, it isn't fair to me that I have to raise another one. My mother is making it difficult for me because she doesn't want me to give the baby up for adoption. I know if I give her custody, she will try to make me be involved with the baby. I don't even want to hold nor see the baby after delivery. As far as I'm concerned, I only have one child.

it sounds like you are really angry. idk what caused your anger but the baby deserves a loving home and parents. if your mom is willing then she also deserves a chance. If that option isnt acceptable contact me. i work for an advocacy group. there are many willing loving families that would love to adopt. i hope it works out for you,your mom,the babys sister and your baby.i will keep your family in my thoughts and prayers.

[DaMeS_GiRl88]

smh it's not the baby fault plz give it up for adoption

[M.NAVA]

damn.. im shocked you feel that way about your unborn baby its not the babys fault its not even born yet. yeah you got your reason to be upset but dont be upset with the child. if you really feel that way i think it would be a good idea if u gaved it up for adoption someone else will give it the love it deserves..

but i also think u should think about it first maybe youll regret it later on..

[thatwiz]

Your feelings are valid. I think that you should be heard. Your Mother has an opinion, but it is your choice. Having been a foster Mom and adopting two wonderful babies-it is much better if you feel that you don't want the baby to have someone that really will love and care for the child immediately. Don't subject the little one to what you don't really want. If you don't want the child-I think its a good thing that you know this now. If you are sure, then proceed accordingly and you can give up your rights immediately. Now since you know who daddy is, he has rights and his family can get the baby, if they choose and social services feel that their home is suitable. In most cases, the Mothers wishes are followed-like if you know who you would like to have the child. There are many loving homes, just waiting for a baby-who will love the child as if baby was their own. I don't think you should be forced to parent a child that you don't want. That is more damaging than anything. It's your baby and it's your choice. I am thankful for my babies. Their Mom's decided that they didn't want them and they have everything imaginable and are loved deeply. They have wonderful lives now, which they most likely would not have had. You must make the decision and its okay to decide that you don't want to raise baby.

[young love]

Why did u open ur legs , obviously u didn't hate the man in prison when u had ur legs open, shame on u get help!! Good luck to ur baby!

[~Shadowfax~]

It's YOUR choice. Do not make this innocent child pay for the what or how you feel. I'll just say this; my GREATEST earthly blessing is my son whom I adopted. I am forever in his birth mom's debt for the most unselfish decision she made.

[kindergirl]

Sweetie, u are 30 weeks pregnant. That baby is almost full term. Give him or her up for adoption. Then you need to seek some help. Those feelings are not normal and that child has a right to experience life.