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tearfallzbreak · #1 01-15-2011, 05:14 PM

Can anyone else relate. Everyday I have to look in my mans eyes and feel the pain of his family. Even though the event that changed his life was many years ago I truely feel it has lead him to this path of distruction. I wish that it never happened I wish he would have never seen what he had to see I love him so much but his father scared him for life and i dont think the pain will ever leave him. Does anyone else have to live with the scars of abuse deaths of killing each other and violence in your mans family?

Geauxin'KraZee · #2 01-15-2011, 10:19 PM

Not in his, really ! But I could write a book about my life and I could put the word "SCARS" in the title. I love the compassion that you have for your man's pain. You know, right now, I'd say you are exactly what he needs more than ever. Stay strong and good luck to both of you .

tearfallzbreak · #3 01-16-2011, 08:52 AM

Thanks Liz for taking the time to respond. It really meant a lot to me. Scars in people are crazy and i wish that they would go away but the mark will always be there.

dswifey1 · #4 01-16-2011, 09:06 AM

Yeah...not some much death and stuff but my husbands father was NEVER around. As a matter of fact he spent most of my husband's life in prison for robbing a bank. Then my husbands mother brought my husband to a family gathering of his dad's side of the family when he was a bout 18 months old sat him on a coach...said I don't want him and walked out. But of course after his aunt took him in his mom would come back and get him and when she got sick of him she would drop him off again. This went on until he got into highschool and finally told his mom he was never going to live with her again. I think what makes it even worse is that his younger sister and his older brother have the same daddy and she kept them. So I think he truely feels the almost hatred towards him from his mother because "he messed up her life". Althought she was the one that cheated and got pregnant. He has never had a stable home and I think that really has a huge impact on him. The streets is all he has ever known. He had to hustle at a young age so he could have lunch money at school. It's sad really and sometimes i would really like to tell his whole family what I think about them.

Dang...didn't mean for this to be this long. But yes...I feel you. I think their raising...well...or not raising totally steers the path that they go on. I just hope that our men can get past all that and decide to overcome it.

tearfallzbreak · #5 01-16-2011, 09:21 AM

I know its horrible my man had to watch his own mother get shot right in front of him.. The first person he ever see die and it happen right in front of his own eyes... he will be for ever hurt with the pain

Harv*sGirl · #6 01-16-2011, 09:21 AM

My BF has been tormented by his childhood. He is the first of 9 children. When he was born his mom was very young and abuse was rampant in all aspects of their lives, first physical abuse his mother inflicted on him, and also he witnessed TONS of extreme domestic violence. He has told me about having to drag his mom back in the house when her boyfriend knocked her out in the driveway. Also her promiscuous behavior affected his ability to trust women. He also has skeletons he won't even talk about...

I believe this has deeply affected him and the type of person he is today. As a young man he was in A LOT of trouble, and eventually took someones life. Once this happened his mom quit drinking and her and her husband really settled down. She became a "good mom" to the younger children.

She acts like she was super mom all along and the younger children don't remember all the bad stuff. My BF is like the black sheep. I know he is being truthful about his past because the other older children have confirmed it, plus they spend way less time with their mom. Its really hard for me to watch all the younger children keep her on a pedestal though. I am sure she did the best she could under the circumstances but I know her actions affected my BF and changed the man he was supposed to be into something that can act like a monster.