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willow028 · #26 02-27-2011, 07:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by passionfruit

he knows he's in a relationship therefore...there isn't anything to worry about if you trust him...why did you feel as you had top fight this woman?

Not speaking for the OP but in my case, she wouldn't back off even though he told her we were together... and while I normally let things roll... I eventually got tired of the 3am drunken tirade calls and stepped in... sometimes we just have to.

LooneysBarbié · #27 02-27-2011, 07:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by passionfruit

now I do agree...alcohol is the problem getting drunk and angry shows concerns...being she stated he gets angry...control that and the communication is the key..

Dang I am sorry your going through this wow... Next time he calls listen and Stay calm...you may hear the true...we women sometimes talk too much and don't let our man speak his mind...its sounds like a pattern, first he wants you to leave and then Stay..um I would evaluate your relationship...like someone said you know your man...and if you trusted him no matter what the other person tries, he knows he's in a relationship therefore...there isn't anything to worry about if you trust him...why did you feel as you had top fight this woman?

Out of anger . It was stupid, the whole situation was. We never had the argument. That we had that night, we moved on from that. That situation was 8 months ago, he was having a bad day. We made up th

LooneysBarbié · #28 02-27-2011, 07:51 PM

[quote=willow028;5992360]Not speaking for the OP but in my case, she wouldn't back off even though he told her we were together... and while I normally let things roll... I eventually got tired of the 3am drunken tirade calls and stepped in... sometimes we just have to.[/

THANKYOUUU !!!

willow028 · #29 02-27-2011, 08:03 PM

[quote=LooneysBarbié;5992381]

Quote:

Originally Posted by willow028

Not speaking for the OP but in my case, she wouldn't back off even though he told her we were together... and while I normally let things roll... I eventually got tired of the 3am drunken tirade calls and stepped in... sometimes we just have to.[/

THANKYOUUU !!!

LOL... I'm normally neutral, but piss me off?! Watch out! She drug me into it, not him... so...

hisswifeyy · #30 02-27-2011, 08:27 PM

In regards to the OP - I'm happy you guys made up.. I hope that you two stay strong , if thats what you want & avoid your weaknesses ( alcohol , bad influence people )

Butttt on a side note, this is the one thing that frustrates me about public forums - I completely understand posting "in the moment" and getting caught up, but if you want to post and tell a story & then get mad / defensive / upset / ignorant about HONEST opinions.. it's just frustrating as hell to read.

passionfruit · #31 02-27-2011, 09:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nimuay

Hon, neither of you should probably be in a relationship. Having a bad day does NOT mean that you get roaring drunk, it doesn't mean that you have to brawl, it doesn't mean you go hang with nasty people, it doesn't mean you cuss out someone you love.

A baaaad day means that someone was injured in a car accident, or you've found out that your mother has cancer. It still doesn't mean you go do any of the above.

And, I might add, no bad day is ever made better by alcohol. Perhaps that's where to start to repair your lives - no more booze and stay away from those people.

A bad day never means that someone has a license to be abusive or to bad-mouth someone they 'love.'.

now I do agree...alcohol is the problem getting drunk and angry shows concerns...being she stated he gets angry...control that and the communication is the key..

Dang I am sorry your going through this wow... Next time he calls listen and Stay calm...you may hear the true...we women sometimes talk too much and don't let our man speak his mind...its sounds like a pattern, first he wants you to leave and then Stay..um I would evaluate your relationship...like someone said you know your man...and if you trusted him no matter what the other person tries, he knows he's in a relationship therefore...there isn't anything to worry about if you trust him...why did you feel as you had top fight this woman?

LooneysBarbié · #32 02-27-2011, 09:44 PM

[quote=willow028;5992408]

Quote:

Originally Posted by LooneysBarbié

LOL... I'm normally neutral, but piss me off?! Watch out! She drug me into it, not him... so...

Im sweet as hell ! But no when it comes to PISSING me off, its a noo noo. He played his part accordingly to being my fiancé. He was with the girls brother. But its ok, its all old drama. Thanks For being understanding

LooneysBarbié · #33 02-27-2011, 09:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hisswifeyy

In regards to the OP - I'm happy you guys made up.. I hope that you two stay strong , if thats what you want & avoid your weaknesses ( alcohol , bad influence people )

Butttt on a side note, this is the one thing that frustrates me about public forums - I completely understand posting "in the moment" and getting caught up, but if you want to post and tell a story & then get mad / defensive / upset / ignorant about HONEST opinions.. it's just frustrating as hell to read.

Hes agreed to stop drinking. He isn't an alcholic so it shouldn't be hard. Were staying strong. But thanks. He has his days, he was in the wrong. So he apologized. I lovee him (: even on days like this afternoon. But thankyouuu.

KBridge · #34 02-27-2011, 10:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LooneysBarbié

I completely understand. I do see where my actions could of taken place. Ima write him a letter stating so. However the trust issue , I DO trust him ! I have huge trust issues with other people. I feel really bad now that I really consider the fact that my actions had alot of play in this. I do love and trust him. Me & him both say. Trust, Love, Honesty completes a relationship. We do have good communication. But thankyou for the advise

I personally do not agree unless I am missing a part of the story. He got drunk, he leaves her and commit his crime? What am I missing. He goes to this other woman's house. No way do I believe you had anything to do with him going to jail. I think the whole ordeal was set up by him and he needs to take full responsibility for it. Why would you go to anotheer woman that is a rival to your woman??

I'm just mad at you for wanting to fight the other girl and not kick his a$$. She is only going to do what he allows her too. If he can't say "this is my woman leave me along" and mean it. HUH!!!

He is to blame for his problems not YOU. It is time for him and you to grow up. And you need to let him stand up like a man and expect him to stand like a man and be responsible for his actions.

passionfruit · #35 02-27-2011, 10:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LooneysBarbié

He called just 20 mins ago. He apologized, he said " I'm sorry. You know I have a selfish mind sometimes. But I was in my cell thinking damn I didn't even tell you I loved you." I tried apologizing. He said "you did nothing wrong its my actions that landed me here. I'm sorry for making you feel as if you did something wrong. I love you so much. We need to stay strong even when we have days like this." & conversation went on.. I'm so glad he called. I love himmmmm !

Ah now that was big of him!!! I'm glad!!! ;-) I can forgive a person who understand how they made me feel and who take responsibility for his actions. Its a long road headed for to the 2... I Still say the drinking needs to stop due to his gets angry and does crazy things without thinking...I feel everyone can change for the better....and that's what counts... Good luck and God bless both of you.

passionfruit · #36 02-27-2011, 11:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KBridge

I personally do not agree unless I am missing a part of the story. He got drunk, he leaves her and commit his crime? What am I missing. He goes to this other woman's house. No way do I believe you had anything to do with him going to jail. I think the whole ordeal was set up by him and he needs to take full responsibility for it. Why would you go to anotheer woman that is a rival to your woman??

I'm just mad at you for wanting to fight the other girl and not kick his a$$. She is only going to do what he allows her too. If he can't say "this is my woman leave me along" and mean it. HUH!!!

He is to blame for his problems not YOU. It is time for him and you to grow up. And you need to let him stand up like a man and expect him to stand like a man and be responsible for his actions.

That was my point..I hate when women want to fight the other woman...when it the mans fauLt..its not the other Woman's fault its Your mans...I would kick my hubby @zz if he ever tried that shyt...not hers...cause he knows he's has a wife and said I do and the vows.

LooneysBarbié · #37 02-27-2011, 11:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KBridge

I personally do not agree unless I am missing a part of the story. He got drunk, he leaves her and commit his crime? What am I missing. He goes to this other woman's house. No way do I believe you had anything to do with him going to jail. I think the whole ordeal was set up by him and he needs to take full responsibility for it. Why would you go to anotheer woman that is a rival to your woman??

I'm just mad at you for wanting to fight the other girl and not kick his a$$. She is only going to do what he allows her too. If he can't say "this is my woman leave me along" and mean it. HUH!!!

He is to blame for his problems not YOU. It is time for him and you to grow up. And you need to let him stand up like a man and expect him to stand like a man and be responsible for his actions.

He didn't go to her, he went to her house with her brother & dad , to drink. ! I think maybe I posted the whole ordeal wrong, because he did NOT lead her to think anything, she KNEW me & him were/are together. & he never let anyone think different. I think maybe my post came off different to some of these ladies. He has/had nothing to do with her. grr, its frustrating explaining the situation. I wish I could deletee the whole post lol
I thank every single one of you ladies opinon, really I do. but like ive said , I know my man better then anyone. And he does take all the responsiblity for his action. He apologized. it takes a man to apologize for the wrong he did. Ugh, hard to explain. This post was spare of moment type thing. Thankyouuu though

LooneysBarbié · #38 02-27-2011, 11:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by passionfruit

That was my point..I hate when women want to fight the other woman...when it the mans fauLt..its not the other Woman's fault its Your mans...I would kick my hubby @zz if he ever tried that shyt...not hers...cause he knows he's has a wife and said I do and the vows.

He did NOTHING with her. Lead her to believe NOTHING. I tried to fight her because of the fact she wanted him. !

LooneysBarbié · #39 02-27-2011, 11:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by passionfruit

Ah now that was big of him!!! I'm glad!!! ;-) I can forgive a person who understand how they made me feel and who take responsibility for his actions. Its a long road headed for to the 2... I Still say the drinking needs to stop due to his gets angry and does crazy things without thinking...I feel everyone can change for the better....and that's what counts... Good luck and God bless both of you.

THANKYOU ! He admitted his wrong, he apologized. Hes agreed to stop drinking. I layed my foot down on that. He wouldn't cheat on me, I was just jealous. But thankyou <3

passionfruit · #40 02-27-2011, 11:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LooneysBarbié

THANKYOU ! He admitted his wrong, he apologized. Hes agreed to stop drinking. I layed my foot down on that. He wouldn't cheat on me, I was just jealous. But thankyou <3

noW that's. Cool about him stoP drinking...we all have our issues unless we wouldn't be on PTO...lol

glad you guys are working it out... ;-) hang in there..

Jealously gets us no where...you could have been in jail too... Be careful, patient and drama free and happy.. Good luck to both of you...I hope you got the Support, Answers you were looking for... God Bless...;-)

quicksonlywifey · #41 02-27-2011, 11:36 PM

ok so for starters im sorry you're feeling the way you're feeling and i hope it gets better. i think with men being in the situation they're it they seem to take it out on those closest to them because they know after the angry words and tears we will still be here..
2nd poor baby he may get 7 years thats sad.. now you yourself didnt make him commit the crime i think he did it on the spur of the moment without thinking based on him being drunk and upset

and lastly... what did you go over there and attempt to fight the girl?? not pointing fingers just a little confused with that detail

LooneysBarbié · #42 02-27-2011, 11:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by quicksonlywifey

ok so for starters im sorry you're feeling the way you're feeling and i hope it gets better. i think with men being in the situation they're it they seem to take it out on those closest to them because they know after the angry words and tears we will still be here..
2nd poor baby he may get 7 years thats sad.. now you yourself didnt make him commit the crime i think he did it on the spur of the moment without thinking based on him being drunk and upset

and lastly... what did you go over there and attempt to fight the girl?? not pointing fingers just a little confused with that detail

Because He was there with her brother, but me being mad/jealous. I.didn't think twice about it. & the whole night was a nightmare. Were fine now. We talked since ive posted this. Just some days are harder.

quicksonlywifey · #43 02-27-2011, 11:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LooneysBarbié

Because He was there with her brother, but me being mad/jealous. I.didn't think twice about it. & the whole night was a nightmare. Were fine now. We talked since ive posted this. Just some days are harder.

yes i agree some days are much harder than others but thats why we have PTO

LooneysBarbié · #44 02-27-2011, 11:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by quicksonlywifey

yes i agree some days are much harder than others but thats why we have PTO

Exactly. I wish I could delete this post, because some of these ladies are directing it on the female which it had NO part in WHY I posted it. I should have calmed down then posted lol. But like I said were fine, he apologized for attempting to blame me. His cellies wife called me. (me & her are "friends" ) she said her husband was asking her if I had said anything about me nd my hubby arguing cus he could tell my hubby was down. ): but im glad he called, & apologized. Shows he cares <3

NC_girl · #45 02-28-2011, 05:06 PM

I'm going to throw in my two cents for what it's worth.

I think you and him both need to work on some impulse control. There are too many issues in this story coming from people acting in the heat of the moment. Examples are: (1) you wanting to fight some woman because you think she wants your man (2) your man went out and committed a crime because he was caught up in anger (3) your man wants you to go to a party, then flips the script on you when you go.

It sounds to me like both you and your man like having drama in your relationship. He obviously likes it, because he creates drama. Example: He first told you to go to the party, but you knew not to go because you knew he would change his mind and get mad. Obviously he has pulled this stunt a few times before. You obviously like the drama too because you stay with him.

If I was in your situation, I would get out of the relationship and work on developing healthier views about how a relationship should work. You and him may care deeply for each other, but it sounds to me like there is a lot of dysfunction here. Maybe the two of you bring out the worst in the other.

Anyway, I hope everything works out for you. This is all just my take on the situation based on what I read, and of course you know your situation better than I do!

LooneysBarbié · #46 02-28-2011, 08:58 PM

Is there anyway , I could delete this entire thread ? Please & Thankyou.

nimuay · #47 02-28-2011, 09:02 PM

No, the threads don't get deleted. And that may be one of the important things to learn - try to get a grip on that impulsiveness.

LooneysBarbié · #48 02-28-2011, 09:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nimuay

No, the threads don't get deleted. And that may be one of the important things to learn - try to get a grip on that impulsiveness.

Mkae thanks !

johnrinasu · #49 02-28-2011, 09:39 PM

First off i'm sorry about the stress your going through. Most of us go through different challenges as some point. it's one of the disadvantags we have to face when ur man is in jail. U are his only outlet where he can vent his frustration and u will listen. Secondly, u need to stop blaming urself for his mistakes or his lack of judgement. I did that for 3 years, blaming myself for him going to jail and it killed me. I became depressed and had to take medication just so i can feel normal. This time i told him, he does something wrong or gets himself in trouble, it's on him. Being sweet is not going to help him change you will only be enabling him. Dont worry about him not calling u back because he will. He knows who is there for him. He may think he has the upper hand but he doesnt. He needs u more then u need him. It took me 5 years to figure it out. you have to find ways on how to deal with him. From The way you talk, to your actions, it will all play a big role if you want this to work. ur love is there, but it doesnt hurt to play hard as well. Let him trust that u know whats good for him but also need to work on your trust issues with him. it will only drive him further from u. I hope i was able to lessen your confusion. wish u the best of luck

LooneysBarbié · #50 02-28-2011, 10:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by johnrinasu

First off i'm sorry about the stress your going through. Most of us go through different challenges as some point. it's one of the disadvantags we have to face when ur man is in jail. U are his only outlet where he can vent his frustration and u will listen. Secondly, u need to stop blaming urself for his mistakes or his lack of judgement. I did that for 3 years, blaming myself for him going to jail and it killed me. I became depressed and had to take medication just so i can feel normal. This time i told him, he does something wrong or gets himself in trouble, it's on him. Being sweet is not going to help him change you will only be enabling him. Dont worry about him not calling u back because he will. He knows who is there for him. He may think he has the upper hand but he doesnt. He needs u more then u need him. It took me 5 years to figure it out. you have to find ways on how to deal with him. From The way you talk, to your actions, it will all play a big role if you want this to work. ur love is there, but it doesnt hurt to play hard as well. Let him trust that u know whats good for him but also need to work on your trust issues with him. it will only drive him further from u. I hope i was able to lessen your confusion. wish u the best of luck

Thankyou ! I do trust him , he knows this. We've worked out everything. But thankyou for your advise