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MIKAER · #51 04-17-2011, 11:59 PM

Would you comply, or try to get around it? It appears some of you would go to great lengths to get around it.

KitKat329 · #52 04-18-2011, 01:32 AM

On what do you base that conclusion? From what I've seen, half of the people were simply confused about the question. You tried to pass it off as an actual condition to a treatment program when you have not showed any evidence for this. This is what caused the confusion. Confusion isn't an admittance of anything.

Quote:

Originally Posted by MIKAER

Would you comply, or try to get around it? It appears some of you would go to great lengths to get around it.

MIKAER · #53 04-18-2011, 06:56 AM

It-- is -- an an actual requirement of treatment that many people fail at. It is not specific to any person or facility. It is also something that many of you have tried to get around by claiming confusion. I don't understand, I don't think it's appropriate, I think it's unfair, nobody else is doing it....The bottom line, those actions, thoughts, and behaviors would assist your loved one at violating parole and returning to prison. Do you need that badly to be right?

LoveBuggy · #54 04-18-2011, 07:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MIKAER

It-- is -- an an actual requirement of treatment that many people fail at. It is not specific to any person or facility. It is also something that many of you have tried to get around by claiming confusion. I don't understand, I don't think it's appropriate, I think it's unfair, nobody else is doing it....The bottom line, those actions, thoughts, and behaviors would assist your loved one at violating parole and returning to prison. Do you need that badly to be right?

Either state its a hyphothetical question or show facts that it isn't. That is what people wanted. Had you not stated that it was a part of many programs and/or implied that ANY of us would want to harm our loved ones chances of a better life then no one would question you.

All in the wording. Don't state things as fact if you CANNOT back them up. Many of us this is not our first rodeo but many PRAY that it is. Just like you!

MIKAER · #55 04-18-2011, 07:34 AM

Attacking changes nothing I stand by my original question and by my post:
The bottom line, those actions, thoughts, and behaviors would assist your loved one at violating parole and returning to prison. Do you need that badly to be right?

Dointimetoo · #56 04-18-2011, 07:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MIKAER

It-- is -- an an actual requirement of treatment that many people fail at. It is not specific to any person or facility. It is also something that many of you have tried to get around by claiming confusion. I don't understand, I don't think it's appropriate, I think it's unfair, nobody else is doing it....The bottom line, those actions, thoughts, and behaviors would assist your loved one at violating parole and returning to prison. Do you need that badly to be right?

Get around what? So, when people are confused they can't ask questions and they are admitting things that they shouldn't be doing and will be the cause of their loved ones failures? When does it becomes the other persons problems when they get in trouble and not blame the wife/husband/girlfriend/boyfriend?

It has nothing to do with being RIGHT it has to do with understanding programs in which you speak about that one day a loved one of someone on here could very well be put into. This thread, if you were to answer the questions, could very well help them.

As Patty said earlier in this thread, I deal with ACTUAL things in our journey and none of these programs will be part of it.

Furthermore, my husband is not hypothetically in prison, he is actually there and I support what he has to do to come home. This is not a requirement.

Just because some people aren't falling down to answers these questions without any facts to help them make an educated answer doesn't make them a reason for failures. I like facts, I like to learn about things and to make an educated guess/answer to back up what I am saying. This is what happens when you have women dealing with a prison system hands on for any length of time. They deal in facts only!

We are not the reasons most of our men are in prison and won't be the reason that he goes back, if he does. I don't control his actions and if he is required not to do something then it's HIS responsibility to let everyone know this. If we step over the lines it's HIS responsibility to say, back off. If he chooses to engage then he broke the rules. They are HIS rules, not mine. If they are teaching them control then lack of control is their problems not mine. Drugs don't disappear after treatment and neither does your loved ones. He has to be strong enough not to drugs again, so he has to show his strength in getting through his hypothetical treatment program. As his wife, I would support his wishes and not engage him in hypothetical romance, ie, cards, letters, or poems.

I will ask one more time and I will choose to believe there are no links out there that support anything you said in this thread about ALL programs, can you PLEASE post a link so I can read up on these programs?

Dointimetoo · #57 04-18-2011, 07:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MIKAER

Attacking changes nothing

I have really tried to understand your post and sorry, sometimes they don't make sense and when people ask questions it's not attacking. It's curiosity. You ask if this and if that but never give facts. Just answer our questions or are you the only one allowed to ask them in your threads?

Lastly, Nothing I do, unless I do the crime with him and or/commit the crime and say he did it, will be my fault for him going back. I'm his wife, not his free will.

june5 · #58 04-18-2011, 08:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MIKAER

Attacking changes nothing I stand by my original question and by my post:
The bottom line, those actions, thoughts, and behaviors would assist your loved one at violating parole and returning to prison. Do you need that badly to be right?

Mine has not ever been in treatment and it's not something I have dealt with so for the original question, I don't know.

What strikes me about this part, which seems to keep coming up. It sounds like a very co-dependent way to approach things (how can I keep him out of prison, taking blame for other people's behavior).

IF my husband gets out returns to prison again, that will be on him. IF you think 'we' should take responsibility for our men's behavior, I want to flip that around...are the men responsible for our behavior? What if one of us does something wrong and lose our job for example? Is anyone going to say, that must be your man's fault? Of course not. So where does this come from, if he goes back, how are you responsible? Unless you are suggesting he go out and commit crimes, or violate parole, or are driving the getaway car, I'm sorry, I don't see it.

KitKat329 · #59 04-18-2011, 12:42 PM

lol. I "claimed confusion" because I really AM confused. Not everything someone does is a way to get around something or a way to hide other motives, or inner rebelion.

you are so silly, you are entertaining. My hubby guesses you have taken a few psych classes and now think you can automaticaly see into people's thoughts. I'm starting to agree with him on that point.

I don't "need" to be right. I never stated I was right. I wanted to learn of the programs that you speak of. You either think you know what you are talking about or have no idea and just want to make others think you are knowledgable. Do you like how the tables are turned on you? Now you are the one being analyzed. So tell me, is helping people really what you are about, or do you just like the attention that all of this drama is giving you? I'm betting you like the attention. You must really be bored.

Quote:

Originally Posted by MIKAER

It-- is -- an an actual requirement of treatment that many people fail at. It is not specific to any person or facility. It is also something that many of you have tried to get around by claiming confusion. I don't understand, I don't think it's appropriate, I think it's unfair, nobody else is doing it....The bottom line, those actions, thoughts, and behaviors would assist your loved one at violating parole and returning to prison. Do you need that badly to be right?