2 weeks until he gets out.

[roshae_16]

He gets out in 2 weeks. im excited to see if he's changed like he says he has so we can be a family, but im nervous cuz what if he hasnt?

[bumblebee37]

Is he coming home to you?

[nimuay]

roshae, you know he hasn't changed. You really know it. It's why you're posting here, in Domestic Violence.

He's got a long and deep history of this kind of violence. How can you expect that he's changed when he's had no treatment and is secretly blaming you for being in prison?

Get an escape kit together, PLEASE! Stash some money and birth certificates, and any bank documents about accounts, school papers, clothes and a spare set of keys if you have a car. Stash it away from the house so you can get to it if you have to run. Get a fire ladder that you can throw out of a window and climb down to escape. Get a spare, throwaway phone and program 911 into it. Carry some wasp spray for defense. Arrange a code word with a good friend that will alert him/her to trouble and ask them to call regularly. Ask them to alert the police if they can't get hold of you.

You may not need any of this for six months, but he's going to blow sooner or later, and you absolutely must be prepared before he gets back. That way he won't know you're doing it. Get a sling to carry the baby so you can run.

Don't let down your guard, please! Pay total attention to the little things, the jealousy, the just-slightly-snotty remarks, the need to be catered to constantly. Consider every one of them as a warning that things are going to go south fast.

If you insist on allowing him back to your home, be prepared!!!

[GoodBI_girl]

Family? How old are the kids? Make sure daddy can't pick them up from school without your permission, tell kids a safe word. Without this plan he may take the kids to "teach you a lesson".

This is standard stuff not about you , guys don't learn anything in 2 weeks. The threat of priosn/jail won't scare them, just gets them madder at you or whoever put them there. That person must be made to suffer...God forbid it doesn't happen and you get out in time.

[wickit]

Roshae, please listen to what nimuay has said here because she is absolutely right! Be careful and be smart, please!

[Free Again]

Excited???, NOT really a word I would find in MY vocabulary were I in YOUR shoes right now Hon. Nervous is closer, though SCARED WITLESS would be more on the mark!!. HE HAS NOT CHANGED and all your hoping won't change that, I'm a huge believer in prayer, though YOUR prayers cant' make him want to change either. Even if he did want to change, the chances that he really COULD are minimal at best. Get ready, get set, to go go go... Have your escape plan and route all mapped out if you are really set on letting him back into your home/life. You know it aint smart, but if you do it, you better be ready for the fallout cos it IS coming and YOU better have a plan to protect your daughter, cos he sure does not care....

[nimuay]

roshae - I need to bring one more warning to your eyes. Be very careful... you know he's violent, and you know he's been to jail for it, and you know he's threatened harm to a child (indirectly, but after all, he did). If Child Protection gets wind of him being around, you have a fairly good chance of losing your daughter. If there's another incident, you may even be charged with some form of failing to protect. We have a member whose daughter is now in prison because she let her boyfriend back in, and he killed their child.

Please, stop thinking about HIM and start thinking about keeping your daughter safe and keeping you safe. He doesn't matter very much if your daughter gets hurt, does he?

[roshae_16]

Thanks to all of yall.
And yall are right, i know he hasnt changed and i do love my daughter too much to put her throught this... Guess i should start becoming invisible now while he's still in jail so he wont find us....

[nimuay]

You're absolutely right, hon. Have you gotten in touch with the DV agency? They can help you quite a lot.

[GoodBI_girl]

Originally Posted by roshae_16

Thanks to all of yall.
And yall are right, i know he hasnt changed and i do love my daughter too much to put her throught this... Guess i should start becoming invisible now while he's still in jail so he wont find us....

Good idea, and take off as much info off the net as you can. I mean FB, Myspace,etc. He will keep abreast of you through sites like these, friends of "friends" will cross post and he will know your whereabouts. Don't mean to sound paranoid or alarmist but folks got ways of finding you when they want to and you need to keep safe.

[roshae_16]

yeah, i love my facebook so i dont wanna delete it, but i already started saying like, 2 days till i leave for kansas. (he knew there was a possibility id go to kansas), but really i'll be ...... somewhere else.

[bellisq]

Love your Facebook next year. It's too easy for people up to no good to sneak info.

[nimuay]

roshae, you can always close that account and open another one under a slightly different name - just don't give it to anyone you think might be willing to tell him about it.

[wickit]

Be careful not to give anybody any information on where you are on these sites like others have already said. If he were to find you without you knowing it would be beyond tragic! It would be a good idea to keep an emergency get away plan ready, no matter where you are. hugs, stay safe!

[roshae_16]

thanks

[dshsjs4ever]

Roshe I'm not in a better situation but by all the response I'm scared for you and not myself I know it sounds crazy! It's been 2 weeks now did you see him? If so how did it go? Plz respond I need to know