Please define to me listening to your guts...?

[perduesgirl]

I know that sounds stupid but I've got a long term diagnosis of anxiety disorder and under that is the symptom where you think things are going on when they are'nt and you tend to be mis trusting so then how do you know if your guts are speaking the truth? Please be detailed I am so serious. I too am in a situation and things have been troubling me even screaming at me but I have had nothing solid to thow out there. How do you listen and know that your guts are right?! without something solid what if you are wrong?

[lifeshard]

Originally Posted by perduesgirl

I know that sounds stupid but I've got a long term diagnosis of anxiety disorder and under that is the symptom where you think things are going on when they are'nt and you tend to be mis trusting so then how do you know if your guts are speaking the truth? Please be detailed I am so serious. I too am in a situation and things have been troubling me even screaming at me but I have had nothing solid to thow out there. How do you listen and know that your guts are right?! without something solid what if you are wrong?

I often ask myself the same question. I don't have an answer, but just wanted to let you know, you're not alone. I get myself worked up over the dumbest stuff & make it more than what it is....& then feel embarrassed after the fact.

[perduesgirl]

well I don't know if it's dumb. after 3 years he's all but quit writing and now he's even skipping calls right when he finally gets 5 a day and visits should be approved any day. Our home burns and he says he doesnt want to hear about it and several times recently he's hung up on me pissed off and hasn't called again for nearly 2 weeks. If it were me I could not have done that. all I can come up with is there someone or something he's found more interesting inside or out?

[sidewalker]

thats tough to decide. However, it may be that he's stressing too. ya know?
He knows there isnt anything he could do about your home burning (YIKES)

THAT said, I'd be upset too that he's not writing or calling. very upset.

as to your original question?
Im often wrong too. In hindsight, when *it* hits the fan there are usually *signs* I didnt pay attention to.

[FastCarGirl]

Originally Posted by perduesgirl

well I don't know if it's dumb. after 3 years he's all but quit writing and now he's even skipping calls right when he finally gets 5 a day and visits should be approved any day. Our home burns and he says he doesnt want to hear about it and several times recently he's hung up on me pissed off and hasn't called again for nearly 2 weeks. If it were me I could not have done that. all I can come up with is there someone or something he's found more interesting inside or out?

Honestly, it sounds like he's not really ready for a serious, committed relationship. He's not mature enough. If *my* home burned down Frankie would want to know 1. if I'm ok, and 2. what happened and how so he could be supportive of me. It's give-and-take, not a one way street. It's possible he found someone else, but really the "red flags" that get me more than the not calling or writing which can also be laziness or complacency or prison stuff going on, is his attitude towards you when YOU need the support. He doesn't want to hear it and throws a tantrum. That's what jumps out at me.

[hisbabyny]

Originally Posted by perduesgirl

well I don't know if it's dumb. after 3 years he's all but quit writing and now he's even skipping calls right when he finally gets 5 a day and visits should be approved any day. Our home burns and he says he doesnt want to hear about it and several times recently he's hung up on me pissed off and hasn't called again for nearly 2 weeks. If it were me I could not have done that. all I can come up with is there someone or something he's found more interesting inside or out?

have you asked him straight out what is the reason he is not calling and communicating with you? i would definetly try to speak to him about it' you could spend forever trying to guess what his issue is

[brians4ever]

I would ask him but over a year and a half of wondering and asking and getting the answers that pacified me....i stopped sending money and found out some info on the internet and confronted him and guess what? I was dumped...I knew it all along but just couldnt bring myself to admit i was being used.

[hoppin]

Because he is in prison, the only type of support he can offer the relationship is emotional support. If he is not doing that, then you really don't need to "listen to your gut." It doesn't matter why he can't give you emotional support. It doesn't matter why he may think his problems are the only problems that deserve his attention. If this is how he acts, you are getting nothing out of the relationship and probably putting too much in. That's not good for you. Find a relationship that is good for you.

[Fancy]

Yes, you will feel uncomfortable.

There will be a nagging little feeling/voice in the back of your mind that knows he is lying, that you just know that something is not right.

It is when you add up all the stuff in your relationship and 2 + 2 =5....when things just do not make sense, and you are afraid to see the truth.

[NikNak88]

Originally Posted by perduesgirl

well I don't know if it's dumb. after 3 years he's all but quit writing and now he's even skipping calls right when he finally gets 5 a day and visits should be approved any day. Our home burns and he says he doesnt want to hear about it and several times recently he's hung up on me pissed off and hasn't called again for nearly 2 weeks. If it were me I could not have done that. all I can come up with is there someone or something he's found more interesting inside or out?

Personally I think that's more than your gut talking to you. It's more like him telling you in a roundabout way he's done with you Now that's just my opinion so again you have to make your own decision ....but if that were my guy I'd take the hint. I'm sorry he's acting that way.