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Princess1029 · #1 10-17-2011, 10:35 PM

I am just curious. If you tell people where your bf/husband is. I personally get to stressed out from all this, I randomly say things or go along with what people say. Some guy in my class thinks I don't work because my husband pays on the bills. Some guys my friend hangs out with at the bar we go to once in awhile thinks my husband works nights.. Then we have his friend out telling people where he really is..Or maybe I should say "friend" I have been arguing with the guy for 2 days now.. Anyways.. Do you tell? I just worry about people judging, and the hurtful things they will say, not like I have time to sit down & tell them everything start to finish...

lovinDJ · #2 10-17-2011, 11:02 PM

I'm very content with the life I have and I am not ashamed of my man or where he is. Anyone that know him knows what a wonderful person he is. He just got caught up in some bad situations when he was young. If someone asks I'll tell them where he is. I found that when I stopped worrying about others opinions and just focused on me and him getting through each day it started to become easier. Some of the stress your having might be brought on by yourself. If someone really loves you they'll respect you and your husband

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will_be_waiting · #3 10-17-2011, 11:03 PM

Nope. I dont tell anyone where he's really at. Everybody knows im married and when they ask about him, i simply say hes outta town working, and will be for a while. It also helps that I dont associate with anyone because I dont know anybody other then co-workers in which I dont talk to outside of work. Its my business and I like to keep things that way

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gabbyd830 · #4 10-17-2011, 11:07 PM

unless somebody asked me, i act like its just an every day relationship. it is, we're just in a different situation than the most. . hes still my man , just farther away and we cant communicate as much. people say im crazy , im sure we all get it all !

Angeleyezob · #5 10-17-2011, 11:08 PM

A lot of people know my situation and where he is. I'm not ashamed of him and if they think less of me then they shouldn't be in my life. I'm proud of my man, I love him and if we are going to be together after this then I won't hide my past or his.

gabbyd830 · #6 10-17-2011, 11:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lovinDJ

I'm very content with the life I have and I am not ashamed of my man or where he is. Anyone that know him knows what a wonderful person he is. He just got caught up in some bad situations when he was young. If someone asks I'll tell them where he is. I found that when I stopped worrying about others opinions and just focused on me and him getting through each day it started to become easier. Some of the stress your having might be brought on by yourself. If someone really loves you they'll respect you and your husband

Sent from my iPad using PrisonTalk

i completely agree!

miandrea · #7 10-17-2011, 11:11 PM

I don't tell everybody, people who are important to us know... That's it

Ytisgirl · #8 10-17-2011, 11:12 PM

I talk about him often. More so to those not so close to me. At first I was scared to let my family and close friends know. I always thought of the worse reaction it judgement from them. As time had gone by I have found out that they are more understanding and acceptive if it then I thought they would be. I am selective of who and what I say still. Some things are gradually introduced of him. Good luck to you all.

Princess1029 · #9 10-17-2011, 11:15 PM

At this point I have maybe a handful of people that know. I mean I guess I could tell people and just not care. It's hard, I just think OMG they are gunna say this or that. I guess I miswel stop lying about it now since I have someone telling people for me. My hubby wanted to keep it to a minimal on who knew since we do plan to move when he gets out even if its just a few hours away from where we are. I bet if I did stop hiding it and making stories up or going along with what people say I would reduce a lot of stress on myself. I ask my friend though and she says its really know ones business.. She is the MAIN person who knows it all & ever daily struggle. I mean I posted a song on fb about being with someone in prison, not sure if people took it as anything.. Some days I just want to be like YES MY HUSBAND IS IN PRISON IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM REMOVE YOURSELF.. I just get so fed up I feeel like I am living a lie/ being fake or something. I walk around & pretend it's all good, when really it's not ALL GOOD..A huge important part of me is missing.. but no one knows that.. :-/ I'm torn

Princess1029 · #10 10-17-2011, 11:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ytisgirl

I talk about him often. More so to those not so close to me. At first I was scared to let my family and close friends know. I always thought of the worse reaction it judgement from them. As time had gone by I have found out that they are more understanding and acceptive if it then I thought they would be. I am selective of who and what I say still. Some things are gradually introduced of him. Good luck to you all.

Maybe a lot of this problem comes from the fact my dad says bad things about him so I feel like others will. My real dad has been in prison my entire life so when I refer to dad it's my step dad whos been around since I was 4. It is weird I actually can go around and tell any and everyone that my biological father is in prison with no problem, why can't I with my husband?

Ytisgirl · #11 10-17-2011, 11:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Princess1029

Maybe a lot of this problem comes from the fact my dad says bad things about him so I feel like others will. My real dad has been in prison my entire life so when I refer to dad it's my step dad whos been around since I was 4. It is weird I actually can go around and tell any and everyone that my biological father is in prison with no problem, why can't I with my husband?

I may be far from it but a father in prison is less reflected on a person as a spouse in prison does.

Princess1029 · #12 10-17-2011, 11:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ytisgirl

I may be far from it but a father in prison is less reflected on a person as a spouse in prison does.

Probably true, plus I never had anything to do with my biological father anyways. He went in when I was 6 weeks old now 24 & he's still in & has a longggg time to go... I dunno. It's just getting old pretending all the time. Some days I just want to let it out & tell whoever.. but I figure I might regret it at some point..

Ytisgirl · #13 10-17-2011, 11:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Princess1029

Probably true, plus I never had anything to do with my biological father anyways. He went in when I was 6 weeks old now 24 & he's still in & has a longggg time to go... I dunno. It's just getting old pretending all the time. Some days I just want to let it out & tell whoever.. but I figure I might regret it at some point..

Sometimes I feel like I opened my mouth too much but end up not being a big deal. To me it's part of life. Not everyone can see it that way though. It is not something I would wish on anyone but since it is a daily thing now I live on one day at a time. I have a few friends that hear all and nothin but about him so that helps.

Princess1029 · #14 10-17-2011, 11:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ytisgirl

Sometimes I feel like I opened my mouth too much but end up not being a big deal. To me it's part of life. Not everyone can see it that way though. It is not something I would wish on anyone but since it is a daily thing now I live on one day at a time. I have a few friends that hear all and nothin but about him so that helps.

Yeah, I just worry I will be like UGHH why did I say that?! I guess I can just go with the flow, if someone asks I could just simply say "he's away" he is away that's not a lie... Yeah I wrote my husband a letter the other day and was telling him this is a hard life to deal with, and I'd never wish a situation like this on ANYONE..It's not easy at all.. It's doable, but not easy.. I love my BFF she keeps my sanity at this point, I told my husband he better thank her a million times when we go see him.. She's even visiting with me, which means alot

Ytisgirl · #15 10-17-2011, 11:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Princess1029

Yeah, I just worry I will be like UGHH why did I say that?! I guess I can just go with the flow, if someone asks I could just simply say "he's away" he is away that's not a lie... Yeah I wrote my husband a letter the other day and was telling him this is a hard life to deal with, and I'd never wish a situation like this on ANYONE..It's not easy at all.. It's doable, but not easy.. I love my BFF she keeps my sanity at this point, I told my husband he better thank her a million times when we go see him.. She's even visiting with me, which means alot

That is awesome. Mine has a cousin there too and wants me to find someone to visit him so I don't have to come alone too. I know this is off subject some what but it is hard. I find that even people on here make it hard too. I learn to take advice in consideration and done times I post things I could have gone with out. No matter where you talk about him someone is going to put in their piece that may be true but finds it harder to deal with for you. I learn to select what I say, although don't always happen, take in what they say but stick with what I know of the situation.

Princess1029 · #16 10-17-2011, 11:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ytisgirl

That is awesome. Mine has a cousin there too and wants me to find someone to visit him so I don't have to come alone too. I know this is off subject some what but it is hard. I find that even people on here make it hard too. I learn to take advice in consideration and done times I post things I could have gone with out. No matter where you talk about him someone is going to put in their piece that may be true but finds it harder to deal with for you. I learn to select what I say, although don't always happen, take in what they say but stick with what I know of the situation.

Is it hard to find someone to go or are you referring to something else? Yeah I think anywhere people will judge & I am just not ready for it all I guess. I stress enough between school, money, decisions I have to make soon, and my dad & I arguing..geez add on someone speaking their mind about my man, which I have never taken lightly to people talking bad about him EVERRR! Even before all this.. soo it's bad.

Ytisgirl · #17 10-18-2011, 12:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Princess1029

Is it hard to find someone to go or are you referring to something else? Yeah I think anywhere people will judge & I am just not ready for it all I guess. I stress enough between school, money, decisions I have to make soon, and my dad & I arguing..geez add on someone speaking their mind about my man, which I have never taken lightly to people talking bad about him EVERRR! Even before all this.. soo it's bad.

Yeah I not having much luck on some one willing to go. I do have one friend who took me and planning to do again. He don't go in though. It is hard to coupe with reality. Most of all other people's thoughts, specially when the ones voicing them are not helpful. You just have to be strong. Mine is a mwi so it's even harder for people to accept it.

Princess1029 · #18 10-18-2011, 12:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ytisgirl

Yeah I not having much luck on some one willing to go. I do have one friend who took me and planning to do again. He don't go in though. It is hard to coupe with reality. Most of all other people's thoughts, specially when the ones voicing them are not helpful. You just have to be strong. Mine is a mwi so it's even harder for people to accept it.

It wasn't too hard I started talking to her like 8 months before he went in, I hadn't mentioned much to her about it. Infact only about maybe 6 months ago I finally told her the entire story which we have been friends like a year & half..more recently since he has been gone gotten much closer, so I decided when I wanted to visit and I just asked her. I said hey it's a really long drive, I really don't want to do it alone would you be okay going with me you can go in the visit too if you want, You don't have to if you don't feel comfortable though. She said sure, I'd love too & now she said she is excited for him to get out (3 yrs) so we can all go out and hang out outside the jail/prison setting. She went another time when he was in county also. She is the best friend seriously, I don't think I could ask for a better one.

Ytisgirl · #19 10-18-2011, 12:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Princess1029

It wasn't too hard I started talking to her like 8 months before he went in, I hadn't mentioned much to her about it. Infact only about maybe 6 months ago I finally told her the entire story which we have been friends like a year & half..more recently since he has been gone gotten much closer, so I decided when I wanted to visit and I just asked her. I said hey it's a really long drive, I really don't want to do it alone would you be okay going with me you can go in the visit too if you want, You don't have to if you don't feel comfortable though. She said sure, I'd love too & now she said she is excited for him to get out (3 yrs) so we can all go out and hang out outside the jail/prison setting. She went another time when he was in county also. She is the best friend seriously, I don't think I could ask for a better one.

That is too awesome. My neighbor knows most of him. I tell her everything about him. She us supportive and don't hesitate to voice her opinion. She is married but excited to meet him once he out. The other one like her lives in England.

bl6ckr0s3 · #20 10-18-2011, 01:09 AM

I normally shouldn't tell too many people about where my husband is @ but i have a big mouth. He's more secure & worried about his safety from enemies that he would prefer n-e-body not to know, but i don't c it hurting since most of the people i tell r co workers & people my work has done business w/. It gets very irrit8in wen people ask wen he's getting out. I've heard that question way too many times, so sometimes i just wish i never opened my mouth. I should just say it's personal & he's in a place that ain't good and free. It couldn't b helped i guess. I will b moving soon to a new st8 & i won't have to worry about talking about stuff like that cuz ill b working @ home most of the time. I won't really socialize very often in a new town where i don't think i would have to release n-e personal information about my life & his. I'd prefer to keep as much to myself as possible til he does come out. I've run across very few people who were judgemental, but surprisingly a lotta people were supportive or would just be like good 4 u kinda thing.

Mom2res&jhs · #21 10-18-2011, 08:17 AM

I have told a handful of people. Only those that are really close to me are the ones that know. I usually 'fail to mention' it to those who I know would not understand nor be supportive. If they don't ask, I don't tell.

vivalaglam87 · #22 10-18-2011, 08:23 AM

Only coworkers and people who know me know, but I'm a Barber/Cosmetologist and my clients know I'm married, I just tell them he works at the prison - which isn't a lie - they just don't need to know he eats and sleeps there too. Lol.

3up4eva · #23 10-18-2011, 08:30 AM

We could careless what anyone thinks. We don't tell them because they don't matter to us, that simple. I'm the only one doing anything for him anyway. It's me and him against the world!!!!!

KC_Queen87 · #24 10-18-2011, 09:14 AM

I don't necessarily broadcast that he's in prison, but I don't mind telling people if they ask about him. Most people know anyways because I really don't care what people have to say about us lol. I'm happy and he's happy and that's all that matters to me. While I don't mind telling people that he's in prison, when they ask what he's in for I just say "for being stupid" because that's the truth hahaha. I don't feel like I have to put him on blast and tell the entire story to anyone. My closest friends know the story and my family does, but that's it. It is what it is. If people don't like it, they can kick rocks!

adamsrubberduck · #25 10-18-2011, 09:34 AM

Only my best friend and son know where he is. I took my friend to meet him because she is my best friend and she knows everything that there is to know about me. I can't hide anything from her and my son needed to know about the situation. He actually knew where he was before we started a relationship.
I don't tell people because I don't feel like it is my right to dicuss my guys personal business with anyone. If he should decide to tell people where he was and what he did when he gets out and moves to my area then he can. I won't be ashamed of him. We both know that what he did was wrong and he is paying for his crime. When he gets out he will not owe anything to anyone because his debt is paid in full. Who ever stands in judgement over him will be judged the same. We have all done things that we should not have and I am sure that no one wants another person shaking the naughty finger in their faces with daily reminders of that. He has no problem talking about what he did and why he did it but he can do that because it is his story to tell.