Intro--tontam11 from New Jersey

[tontam11]

I'M A SINGLE PARENT OF 6. 4 BOYS AND 2 GIRLS AND BY THE GRACE OF GOD WE WERE DOING FINE. MY TWO OLDEST 24 AND 22 WENT N THE NAVY AFTER FINISHING HIGH SCHOOL AND ARE DOING FINE. MY 19 YEAR OLD (ON DEC 30 2011) GET CAUGHT WITH A LOADED 22 AND DRUGS HAVE NEVER BEEN IN ANY TROUBLE AND NO PROBLEMS AT HOME WITH HIM AT HOME EITHER. HANGING WITH THE WRONG CROWD.I KNOW TIMES HAVE CHANGED BUT I'M STILL CAN'T BELIEVE THIS. HE'S AT THE MERCER COUNTY CORRECTION CENTER AND ITS KILLIN ME HAVE I FAILED AS A PARENT I DON'T KNOW WHO TO TALK TO THEY KEEP GIVING ME THE RUN AROUND AT THE JAIL. HIS BAIL WAS 100,000 THE LOWER TO 75,000 SO I WENT TO A BAIL BOND 4 DAYS AGO WAS EXPECTING MY SON 2 DAYS AGO AND HE STILL NOT HERE. THEY TELL ME THEY CAN NOT FIND A DAMN RELEASE PAPER. THE BAIL HAS BEEN PAID AND I STILL HAVE TO WAIT ANOTHER DAY. EVEN THOUGH THEY DON'T GIVE TWO F???? ABOUT HIM I DO. THIS IS HIS FIRST MISTAKES AS AN ADULT AND HOPEFULLY HIS LAST. NOW I NEED TO FIND HIM A LAWYER. I DON'T EVER WANT TO HAVE TO GO THROUGH THIS AGAIN AND I FEEL SORRY FOR ANY WHO HAVE TO ----

[Momma Ann]

you are not lost any more! you found PTO and a whole lotta folks to help you through this!

[PrisonFriend]

Originally Posted by tontam11

I'M A SINGLE PARENT OF 6. 4 BOYS AND 2 GIRLS AND BY THE GRACE OF GOD WE WERE DOING FINE. MY TWO OLDEST 24 AND 22 WENT N THE NAVY AFTER FINISHING HIGH SCHOOL AND ARE DOING FINE. MY 19 YEAR OLD (ON DEC 30 2011) GET CAUGHT WITH A LOADED 22 AND DRUGS HAVE NEVER BEEN IN ANY TROUBLE AND NO PROBLEMS AT HOME WITH HIM AT HOME EITHER. HANGING WITH THE WRONG CROWD.I KNOW TIMES HAVE CHANGED BUT I'M STILL CAN'T BELIEVE THIS. HE'S AT THE MERCER COUNTY CORRECTION CENTER AND ITS KILLIN ME HAVE I FAILED AS A PARENT I DON'T KNOW WHO TO TALK TO THEY KEEP GIVING ME THE RUN AROUND AT THE JAIL. HIS BAIL WAS 100,000 THE LOWER TO 75,000 SO I WENT TO A BAIL BOND 4 DAYS AGO WAS EXPECTING MY SON 2 DAYS AGO AND HE STILL NOT HERE. THEY TELL ME THEY CAN NOT FIND A DAMN RELEASE PAPER. THE BAIL HAS BEEN PAID AND I STILL HAVE TO WAIT ANOTHER DAY. EVEN THOUGH THEY DON'T GIVE TWO F???? ABOUT HIM I DO. THIS IS HIS FIRST MISTAKES AS AN ADULT AND HOPEFULLY HIS LAST. NOW I NEED TO FIND HIM A LAWYER. I DON'T EVER WANT TO HAVE TO GO THROUGH THIS AGAIN AND I FEEL SORRY FOR ANY WHO HAVE TO ----

Your frustration and pain are certainly understandable.

My daughter (my only child) was 19, going to college studying theology, when she sold crack to an undercover. She's now 31 and SHE says that it was the best experience that she could have gone through. It changed her life in a positive way.

You have NOT failed as a parent. There are lessons in life that have to be experienced. The best thing that we can do is pray for our children to become the people that God wants them to be and that we, ourselves, can continue to live as examples.

Angels are watching over your son. He was protected from death. The circumstances of being in possession of a gun could have just as easily been different, as well as the drugs.

My ex-husband and his wife, did everything that they possibly could to prevent their 22-year-old son from enduring problems, intervening when he stole from his employer, providing him and his girlfriend free rent...The worst did happen on 12/29/2011. My wife-in-law (as I lovingly call my ex's wife) initiated CPR on her only child, almost immediately after his girlfriend screamed for help when he stopped breathing in their home.

We're still waiting for the autopsy report to learn the specifics. Drugs were involved.

My ex & his wife were excellent parents. There by the Grace of God go I.

I'm not suggesting that you stop your efforts!

Personally, I find that a change of perspective changes the event.

Welcome! Thank you for sharing what you're going through - This forum will help guide you.

And, thank you for allowing me to share my story.