Notice to new members intending to register - from January 9th 2012

NikNak88 · #26 02-21-2012, 02:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NicolelovesDee

I know it would be better if I just left... but I cant bring myself to.. I wrote it in his letter, amd then back traced myself by saying please tell me im just insane that its not there... but it is... Thats what I dont understand either, I mean its clear as day or at least it is to me, he started to write her name theres a Ca her names caroyn and instead of crossing it out he put my name over top of it... but its still very visible, idk maybe he wanted to get caught I got 2 letters from him the day after and couldnt even bring myself to read them thoroughly just skimmed thru them. I havent sent him money Ive sent him 30 dollars the whole time hes been in there, Im not working right now, cant find a job so havent been able to, the only thing Im doing is writing him and visiting when I can, so he cant be using me... I have nothing to give... I just dont understand what could you write after I love you that started with ca but didnt and felt the need to voer it with my name... his ex... thats all I can think of... Thank yall for responding. I just took all the pics n envelopes hes sent me off my walls, n I didnt realize it would be this hard....

Take a pic of just the part in question and post it. We'll tell you if it looks like her name under yours. Maybe some impartial, unbiased eyes can help.

Sexy_Bella · #27 02-21-2012, 06:03 AM

i'm with niknak and martinezwifey.its possible he just made a mistake like calling someone by the wrong name.i know it hurts but if you do whatever will allow you to maintain self respect, then in the long run you will be much better off. cause at the end of the day YOU are the one that has to live with your decisions.

mallafri · #28 02-21-2012, 06:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sexy_Bella

i'm with niknak and martinezwifey.its possible he just made a mistake like calling someone by the wrong name.i know it hurts but if you do whatever will allow you to maintain self respect, then in the long run you will be much better off. cause at the end of the day YOU are the one that has to live with your decisions.

I agree, could be a simple mistake! What's the sentence after the "I love you"? When I'm writing my BF I sometimes forget a word or two cause I'm writing so fast, usually I write on the computer so it's easy to change. E.g. maybe he wanted to write I love you Jessica but forgot to write your name and started with the next sentence and then realised and changed it. Does the next sentence start with ca or something similar? I just don't understand why he would send you the letter if he wrote the wrong name, wouldn't he have just started the letter over on a new piece of paper?

special12know · #29 02-21-2012, 06:47 AM

My opinion you can't blame a dog for barking. Follow your spirit it does not lie take care of you a marriage is built on trust and communication its evident u have trust issues and he lie and u know that I say write him a letter then visit if u can to talk if u feel in your heart he is lyin walk away life iss to short if it is meant to be it will be after he grow up

Mustardseed · #30 02-21-2012, 07:54 AM

Personally I think you should talk to him before you jump to conclusions. He at least deserves a chance to explain. A woman can tell though if something is going on, just follow your heart. I do stupid stuff like that all the time. I've been known to write what others around me are saying to without even thinking about it. I have caught myself calling my husband by my exs name, when I had no feelings what so ever for my ex. And a guy that is really trying to do something behind a womans back would not have sent that letter to begin with. I wouldn't read to much into it sweetie.

323karma · #31 02-21-2012, 08:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NicolelovesDee

Its not the guards initials... its under my name... it was wrote b4 mine and mine over top it. Im not sure how long they was together off n on 6 years I think, me and hims been together for a year this girl the ex, tried to cause problems for us just about thru out our whole relationship.. except for the last 6 months... we was doing great and then this letter came n has messed with my mind... How would I put it on here?

JUST ASK HIM!!! We can speculate all day long, but none of us are him! I've been married to my man for 5 years .... was married to someone else for way longer before him. On occasion, out of mindless habit, I've started to call my husband the wrong name. Seriously, just ask him. None of us can read his mind and this speculation will drive you nuts.

misskatherine · #32 02-21-2012, 01:17 PM

We are all in the same boat together and therefore we should help one another. :-) Be true to yourself & your heart x x x

NicolelovesDee · #33 02-21-2012, 02:20 PM

Yea ok Ive thought about it all night and so far the majority of the day, and I all I can think of is if he had meant to write her name he would have rewrote the letter... as far as the next sentence, I really dont wanna pull the letter back out... I think Im just going to stick with him thru this bc no matter what I love him and I cant imagine my future without him, and once he gets out if things change... Im just gunna take it one day at a rime..

Arie_B · #34 02-21-2012, 02:31 PM

Wow he's a hot messsssss. Let me start of from telling you about a past incident tht happen to me. When I was about 17 my ex got sent to a detention center we used to write each other on a regular basis. Ok so one of his letters that was supposed to go to his cousin came to me. Close to the end it read how he still loved his ex but he's in a new relationship n he guess I will do. Umm no. I'm not anyone's convenient girl. So all in all I can say I learned the hard way when he came home. Let him know the deal NOW.

Sent from my iPhone using PrisonTalk

water_bills · #35 02-21-2012, 02:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NicolelovesDee

I know it would be better if I just left... but I cant bring myself to.. I wrote it in his letter, amd then back traced myself by saying please tell me im just insane that its not there... but it is... Thats what I dont understand either, I mean its clear as day or at least it is to me, he started to write her name theres a Ca her names caroyn and instead of crossing it out he put my name over top of it... but its still very visible, idk maybe he wanted to get caught I got 2 letters from him the day after and couldnt even bring myself to read them thoroughly just skimmed thru them. I havent sent him money Ive sent him 30 dollars the whole time hes been in there, Im not working right now, cant find a job so havent been able to, the only thing Im doing is writing him and visiting when I can, so he cant be using me... I have nothing to give... I just dont understand what could you write after I love you that started with ca but didnt and felt the need to voer it with my name... his ex... thats all I can think of... Thank yall for responding. I just took all the pics n envelopes hes sent me off my walls, n I didnt realize it would be this hard....

My husband had done this before, sort of. He has called me by his ex's name and once he wrote me a letter with my maiden name after we were married. I thought it was really funny!

Personally, I would just talk to him about this and just be up front and honest. If he lies to you about it, he will lie to you about other things. Is he someone you can really trust or not? I know I can trust my husband, even if he accidentally wrote one of his ex's name in my letter where my name should be. I would be very hurt and upset and I would totally go off on him for it, but I know without a doubt that he would be understanding and honest with me about it, fully. Whether he had feelings or if it really was just an accident, you know? In your situation, it sounds like an honest accident to me.. he may not have re-written due to lack of paper or maybe the letter wad really long or mail was going out in 5 minutes.. there are so many possibilities!

**shaunna** · #36 02-21-2012, 03:32 PM

It's up to you but I personally think you need to talk to him otherwise you are going to drive yourself insane over analysing/constantly looking at two letters on a page. You need to talk to him

Mrs.taylor2011 · #37 02-21-2012, 04:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shaunna

It's up to you but I personally think you need to talk to him otherwise you are going to drive yourself insane over analysing/constantly looking at two letters on a page. You need to talk to him

I agree,seems like theres some trust issues..have he gave you reasons not to trust him before?? Just ask him about,because if u throw it under the rug,your going to keep thinking if hes writing her ..

*Mrs.Taylor <3*

leilani08 · #38 02-21-2012, 07:06 PM

ok. you sound just like me. taking one thing and blowing it up into a whole another. FINALLY i'm on the outside looking in, and can give some advice. it could've been ANYTHING. doesn't necessarily have to have been her name. does he talk to her that you know of? does he call you cutesy names like care bear or something that might start with a c-a? he might have been starting a new sentence like "Can't wait to see you again". he might have been thinking about her and how crazy she is and accidentally wrote her name. sometimes our minds get twisted up. i call my bf by my dogs name ALL the time! and vice versa but that doesn't mean i wanna take my bf for a walk down the block

just calm down. maybe one of the inmates was talking to him at the time about his girl, Cathy or Camille, anything! and he wrote it down. trust me, i've done that before too. i would talk to him in person if you can to see his reaction because you know him best and you could tell whether he is lying or tryna hide something from you (hopefully not). if you can't do that, then have him call you. and at the very least, write him. but it's important to be able to tune in to his reaction, his expressions, his body language, etc. i know if it were me, i would have been doing the VERY same thing you're doing but more dramatic lol so coming from a girl with experience with this, just keep calm. and if worst comes to worst, dump the chump. no excuses. no looking back.

NicolelovesDee · #39 02-27-2012, 02:23 PM

Figured I would update this thread, turns out I was seriously over reacting... we talked and it was jsut a big misunderstanding, I believe him, he was so calm when he was telling me about it and when he lies he gets mad... he was really scared I was going to leave him... Thanks everyone for givin thoughts about the situation

It really helped with the stress

Huerita_Loca · #40 02-27-2012, 05:28 PM

Glad to know it all worked out.

Not for nothing, my husband leaves letters out of words, words out of sentences. He'll stop completely in the middle of a sentence and you wonder where the heck the rest of it went. I can see why you would have gotten so uptight though, but I'm glad you were satisfied with the way he handled it. Calm is way better than defensive.

Jay1 · #41 02-27-2012, 05:47 PM

Im glad everything was a misunderstanding...I was hoping there was an update by the time I was done with this thread..lol good luck and don't be so harsh on yourself..take care

tracie2 · #42 02-27-2012, 06:48 PM

I would certainly ask him the question. If you don't then you will always have that doubt. I know that sometimes when I am writting my husband I get all carried away and just start babbeling and he will ask me what in the heck I was trying to say..... maybe it is just something as simple as that. I hope so for your sake but before you walk away make sure that is the right decision for you based on a fact and not just a hunch or something that you feel. I know that most of the time those gut feelings are usually right, but please be sure and talk to him.... Good luck to you~

djw's wife · #43 02-27-2012, 09:58 PM

I just wanna say first of all I'm so happy for you that it was a misunderstanding.

I also want to say that as weird as this may seem, it is comforting to me that I am not alone in the boat of misunderstandings and over-reacting. I get so mad at myself sometimes because i do this type of stuff and every single time it comes out that i was being crazy. my husband has NEVER given me any reason to doubt him. I know that things of my past are what drives the crazy stuff my mind does and that is so not fair to him, you know?

Again, I'm really glad this worked out and that you are feeling so much better! I know how awesome that must feel for you!!!

NicolelovesDee · #44 02-28-2012, 01:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by djw's wife

I just wanna say first of all I'm so happy for you that it was a misunderstanding.

I also want to say that as weird as this may seem, it is comforting to me that I am not alone in the boat of misunderstandings and over-reacting. I get so mad at myself sometimes because i do this type of stuff and every single time it comes out that i was being crazy. my husband has NEVER given me any reason to doubt him. I know that things of my past are what drives the crazy stuff my mind does and that is so not fair to him, you know?

Again, I'm really glad this worked out and that you are feeling so much better! I know how awesome that must feel for you!!!

Lol yea I know exactly what you mean, I know I have no reason to worry he loves me, should have seen the letters I received after sending him the 3 I had flipped out in , made me cry, actually it made me mad at myself for doubting him... it's just I'm not used to being this happy in a relationship, but with him it's different I dont have to hide anything from him, I can be me.. for the first time in my life I couldn't be happier (or at least until he gets out) and this isnt normal for me lol every time I get happy something crushes it down.. so I guess I was expecting the worst. But I've decided Im going to start thinking positive this is my time in life <3 and I have him so to speak and theres nothing I would rather have.

Cara1947 · #45 02-28-2012, 05:48 AM

Sorry you're going through this rocky time. In the end, only you can decide whether to stay or leave.

In my experience (64 years/3 marriages), if I cannot trust them, the relationship is over . . . now or later? . . . but without trust, no relationship can survive. On the other hand, we all have rough days/times . . . trust and communication allow us to work through them without wrecking the relationship. I've learned that they, too, are on an emotional roller coaster, and after 20 years of marriage we don't wonder who is writing to whom . . . but we do wonder if we'll survive this and ever be a couple again . . .

Good luck (((HUG)))

FiFi n Miles · #46 02-28-2012, 03:38 PM

So are you going to tell us what the C A was for?

FiFi

mustang2010 · #47 02-28-2012, 08:27 PM

hey if you are still here i will be glad to chat with you.maybe i can help

NicolelovesDee · #48 02-28-2012, 10:59 PM

He says he wasnt writing her name and begged me in 5 letters and cried to me on the phone, I believe him usually when he lies he gets all pissy, he was so sincere when he was talking to me. Says he doesn't want anyone else that Im all he ever thinks about and am the ONLY person he ever thinks about while writing me... he had me crying... idk I'm taking his word that Im the only person besides his mom hes writing I mean Ive been getting letters nearly every day from him, hes in the hole so we can only talk Saturday mornings and its hard to say everything in 15 minutes.

Midnyghtcloud · #49 02-29-2012, 01:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NicolelovesDee

I know it would be better if I just left... but I cant bring myself to.. I wrote it in his letter, amd then back traced myself by saying please tell me im just insane that its not there... but it is... Thats what I dont understand either, I mean its clear as day or at least it is to me, he started to write her name theres a Ca her names caroyn and instead of crossing it out he put my name over top of it... but its still very visible, idk maybe he wanted to get caught I got 2 letters from him the day after and couldnt even bring myself to read them thoroughly just skimmed thru them. I havent sent him money Ive sent him 30 dollars the whole time hes been in there, Im not working right now, cant find a job so havent been able to, the only thing Im doing is writing him and visiting when I can, so he cant be using me... I have nothing to give... I just dont understand what could you write after I love you that started with ca but didnt and felt the need to voer it with my name... his ex... thats all I can think of... Thank yall for responding. I just took all the pics n envelopes hes sent me off my walls, n I didnt realize it would be this hard....

he might have just started to write her name out of habit, have you thought of that possiblity?? dont jump to conclusions so quickly until you hear from him again, it will save you alot of heartache and grief. good luck and keep us updated. Vanessa

NicolelovesDee · #50 02-29-2012, 02:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Midnyghtcloud

he might have just started to write her name out of habit, have you thought of that possiblity?? dont jump to conclusions so quickly until you hear from him again, it will save you alot of heartache and grief. good luck and keep us updated. Vanessa

We done talked about it, everythings good, he said he wasnt starting to write her name he said he has no explanation of what he was writing, I really dont think he was going to write her name he would have scribbled it out and when we did talk about it he was so calm and when he lies he gets pissy.. so were good

I love him he loves me were happy again lol