Notice to new members intending to register - from January 9th 2012

deedeeortiz · #**176** 05-19-2012, 01:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tglsmom

He wrote on Mother's Day and that says a lot. This is only the beginning and there will be a lot of stuff for you and your son to sort through. It took a while for our son to understand how his actions affected us and the rest of the family, but we worked through it and we now have an open and honest relationship. You will get there also - step by step - but this is a good start.

Enjoy the grandkids this weekend! We're off to see our 10 year old grandson (our son in prison's son) play a little league game today. We love spending time with him - even though it is a bittersweet situation - but it's like having part of our son here and that means everything.

I was afraid I'd have a tearful weekend having mine babies. But that letter was perfect timing. I'm so thankful for all of my kids & grandkids, they are truly what keeps me going. I've been very blessed.

deedeeortiz · #**177** 05-19-2012, 01:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mrsrimoldi

It's good he's telling you how he feels and what he was thinking about. The lines of communication are opening up. Thank God

I know we can do this together. Knowing he hasn't had a breakdown is such a relief. I love him so much and know with the family he can do this. Hopefully we'll get the appeal and have his overturned. Meanwhile we'll take it one step at a time-together.

DavidsMomnTexas · #**178** 05-19-2012, 03:20 PM

I Amos happy you have heard from him DeeDee! Enjoy the grand kids.

deedeeortiz · #**179** 05-20-2012, 12:33 PM

Just relaxing today with the kids. We'll probably swim later and BBQ for the kids for dinner. Went yesterday and bought the kids a few summer outfits & a swimsuit We've had a good weekend.

1bird2 · #**180** 05-20-2012, 06:41 PM

YES!!!! You certainly did need a relaxing GOOD weekend!!! I am so thankful that you had one....and with the grands!!! I hope you get a good night's sleep and continue to get the good stuff!!!! We are all still here praying.....and we won't stop!!!
Much love and many prayers!!
XXOO

deedeeortiz · #**181** 05-20-2012, 10:31 PM

My ex dil sent me a text tonight saying the kids got letter from their dad. She said she was so upset & crying. I asked was the letters bad. She said no that they were good letters but she was having a emotional time wondering how she would handle it with the kids, without breaking down. I guess now she cares? She's hard to understand.

The kids had so much fun with all the family today. Then they got to go stay the night with my younger son. They love when they get to stay over with their uncles and cousins. It's been a great weekend for us all.

deedeeortiz · #**182** 05-21-2012, 07:05 PM

Busy day with the grandkids. They had a great time with their uncle. Today we did some shopping, went to lunch, then did pictures to send to their daddy. My grandson was a bit tired, so didn't get to any good ones of him. But I think their daddy will be happy to get them.

tglsmom · #**183** 05-21-2012, 08:51 PM

deedee - I'm so glad to hear that your son is reaching out now. It must have been hard for him to write to his kids, but I think that's a very good sign. I think they're all going to be fine - it will just take a little while to adjust to the way things are for now. Glad to hear, too, that you're sending pictures. Our son loves pictures more than anything. I think his whole wall is full of pictures of his son!

deedeeortiz · #**184** 05-21-2012, 09:05 PM

Yes I agree. His kids will help him through this. They colored pictures for him, so I'll be sending those off tomorrow. I just have to focus on the NOW and not the future right now. When I think about that, it's just to overwhelming.

mandymoo · #**185** 05-21-2012, 09:28 PM

You're wise, deedee, break this situation into manageable proportions which, for right now, equal one day at a time.

JuliannRN · #**186** 05-22-2012, 03:56 PM

dee dee, I am new to all this. Im gathering strength from yours....

Nicksmother · #**187** 05-22-2012, 08:05 PM

DeeDee, I used to post here and took a long break. My son is still incarcerated. Your story breaks my heart, this is a great forum and only the Moms and Dads here know the pain of seeing your child in handcuffs, behind glass or hear the sentencing from the judge. Get your strength from God and these parents. I am praying hard for you and sending a virtual hug. You are much stronger than you think! Hugs!

I'm done · #**188** 05-23-2012, 01:36 PM

[quote=deedeeortiz;6707298]We had a surprise visit from my grandbabies. Their mom brought them to town today. I ran out fora minute and when I pulled in the driveway my 5yr old granddaughter ran out and gave me the biggest hug & kiss. I fell apart, I was so happy to see them. We all went to the park for an hour, then on to the birthday party. It was really nice having ALL of my grandkids today at the party, but especially the 2 little ones. I feel closer to my son when they are here. I asked if I could get them next weekend and their mom said I should be able to. I'm hoping if my son is here in county he can get a visit and see them.[/QUO you just gave me hope
I never would

deedeeortiz · #**189** 05-23-2012, 07:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JuliannRN

dee dee, I am new to all this. Im gathering strength from yours....

I'm glad I can give you strength. It's certainly the hardest path I have ever taken. Being able to come here and talk to others who understand has really helped me. They have given me my strength. My family tries to help, but it's not their child, so they just don't understand the pain & that I can't just stop being sad, hurt, angry & devastated. Thank you all who have helped my find strength.

Still have not heard from my son again. I mailed him the pictures of his kids today. I know he'll be happy when he receives them.

tglsmom · #**190** 05-23-2012, 10:35 PM

deedee - I'm just curious - did you ever receive visiting applications? If no, be sure to ask him to send them as soon as he can. Make sure he signs them before he sends them to you. The sooner you get them turned in, the sooner you can visit him and I know you want that more than anything! I hope you get another letter soon, too!

deedeeortiz · #**191** 05-24-2012, 11:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tglsmom

deedee - I'm just curious - did you ever receive visiting applications? If no, be sure to ask him to send them as soon as he can. Make sure he signs them before he sends them to you. The sooner you get them turned in, the sooner you can visit him and I know you want that more than anything! I hope you get another letter soon, too!

No we did not. I've told him in every letter to send them. Ive only got the 1 letter from him. I'm hoping they come soon.

deedeeortiz · #**192** 05-24-2012, 11:36 PM

Tonight was a bittersweet night. Two of my kids graduated high school. We were all at the graduation and one of my sons friends who he went all through school with and played sports with, probably his BEST friend in high school. He came up to me and said hi and how I was. He got very emotional and I just about lost it. I had to just turn away and sit down. I had a flood of emotions. Here It is a special night for my 2 high school graduates, all the family there, and I just felt like I'm back in that deep deep hole. I hate feeling like this.

auntieshay · #**193** 05-25-2012, 09:26 AM

Hi Dee Dee, Very bittersweet indeed. Maybe you can reach out to your son's best friend, it seems as he was hurting too. Maybe he can help you and your son. He may want to write and do not know how to ask. I don't think it can hurt. Just my thoughts. Thinking of you and your family. Happy Memorial Day.

deedeeortiz · #**194** 05-25-2012, 10:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by auntieshay

Hi Dee Dee, Very bittersweet indeed. Maybe you can reach out to your son's best friend, it seems as he was hurting too. Maybe he can help you and your son. He may want to write and do not know how to ask. I don't think it can hurt. Just my thoughts. Thinking of you and your family. Happy Memorial Day.

Maybe if I see him again, I will be able to better deal with it.

lionmom · #**195** 05-26-2012, 03:46 PM

Dear Dee Dee,
your story is very similar to mine. We were in shock when we heard the Judge read the sentence, a total of seven years. My son is only 20 and was only 19 when arrested. At first I could not work. But now that's all I can do. When I am at home I can barely leave the house. He has three younger sisters so I try to be happy so that they are happy and there lives are not consumed by sadness as mine is. Not only am I dealing with the sadness of the loss of my son. Oh, he is not dead, and for that I am grateful, however, the young happy go lucky boy that was arrested is gone forever. And for that I continuously mourn. But day to day stress....drowning in debt etc.
I now take medication and see a therapist. Both have helped and I am not dependent on either.
Once in a while a bit of happiness sneaks its way into my life and I am given hope. Hope that someday I will be happy again. Someday I won't always think of him in that cell. Missing the sun on his face, the chirping of the birds, the song and the dance.
If it wasn't for my daughters, his sisters, graduating, going to dances, playing sports, etc etc., I fear I would have no joy at all in my life at all and would be swallowed up in that abyss of darkness, of sorrow in which I cannot find my way out.
Of course I hear nothing from his friends and most of my family just pretends he doesn't exist, rather then acknowledge his incarceration. Every once in a while someone asks what the can do and I say "write." But as it turns out, they can't even do that.
Being the mother of an incarcerated child is oh so lonely.
Thank you for all of your posts, Dee Dee, as I am reluctant to write or talk, for the fear that if I do I will somehow succumb. At the same time I realize that if I don't talk and share I cannot heal. Thank you PTO family for all your prayers. But honestly, my faith has been shaken.
Love and hope - D

dbd335 · #**196** 05-26-2012, 03:49 PM

bless you, deedee, this is such a rollercoaster ride - moments in life can be so sweet and then the reality hits again - i do pray you find an ally in your son's friend - it seems he cares for your son very much - maybe you could try writing him at first

lionmom · #**197** 05-26-2012, 03:50 PM

My Son has been in Tracy for a couple weeks. He did say that the classification is taking less time than a few months ago when he was first there. He hears that he will be mainlined in a couple months. "one step closer to Freedom." As he writes.
Send him a stationary packet, send him letters, even if you don't hear back, have home sent you a visitor application, tell him to sign a medical form that allows you access to his medical records and notice to you if anything were to happen.
Good luck

have him send you a visitor application...

deedeeortiz · #**198** 05-26-2012, 07:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lionmom

Dear Dee Dee,
your story is very similar to mine. We were in shock when we heard the Judge read the sentence, a total of seven years. My son is only 20 and was only 19 when arrested. At first I could not work. But now that's all I can do. When I am at home I can barely leave the house. He has three younger sisters so I try to be happy so that they are happy and there lives are not consumed by sadness as mine is. Not only am I dealing with the sadness of the loss of my son. Oh, he is not dead, and for that I am grateful, however, the young happy go lucky boy that was arrested is gone forever. And for that I continuously mourn. But day to day stress....drowning in debt etc.
I now take medication and see a therapist. Both have helped and I am not dependent on either.
Once in a while a bit of happiness sneaks its way into my life and I am given hope. Hope that someday I will be happy again. Someday I won't always think of him in that cell. Missing the sun on his face, the chirping of the birds, the song and the dance.
If it wasn't for my daughters, his sisters, graduating, going to dances, playing sports, etc etc., I fear I would have no joy at all in my life at all and would be swallowed up in that abyss of darkness, of sorrow in which I cannot find my way out.
Of course I hear nothing from his friends and most of my family just pretends he doesn't exist, rather then acknowledge his incarceration. Every once in a while someone asks what the can do and I say "write." But as it turns out, they can't even do that.
Being the mother of an incarcerated child is oh so lonely.
Thank you for all of your posts, Dee Dee, as I am reluctant to write or talk, for the fear that if I do I will somehow succumb. At the same time I realize that if I don't talk and share I cannot heal. Thank you PTO family for all your prayers. But honestly, my faith has been shaken.
Love and hope - D

When my son was diagnosed with a terminal brain tumor, we only had about 6 weeks before we lost him. I started a online journal for family and friends. When I would feel so overwhelmed, I would sit at my computer and write whatever came to my mind. after he passed I would still write off and on. Sometime later I printed out. I don't remember how long it was after I lost him, that I finally went back and read it. Many of those weeks I didn't even remember. It took my days to read it because it was so painful to read. But it also brought me some comfort. Once I finished reading it, I had my husband put it away with my sons things. He's been gone 4 years now, but I know doing that journal got me through some very hard times. Now I kind of feel like this has done the same with his twin. I know when I come here and write what I'm feeling, there are others who know what I'm feeling. It helps me not to feel so alone with this nightmare.

deedeeortiz · #**199** 05-26-2012, 07:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dbd335

bless you, deedee, this is such a rollercoaster ride - moments in life can be so sweet and then the reality hits again - i do pray you find an ally in your son's friend - it seems he cares for your son very much - maybe you could try writing him at first

I know there are a lot of young people who grew up with my son and are probably as hurt & confused as we are. My oldest daughter told me yesterday that others are very concerned about what this has done to me. That kind of shocked me. She said kids that they have grown up with don't know what to say to me when they see me.

deedeeortiz · #**200** 05-26-2012, 07:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lionmom

My Son has been in Tracy for a couple weeks. He did say that the classification is taking less time than a few months ago when he was first there. He hears that he will be mainlined in a couple months. "one step closer to Freedom." As he writes.
Send him a stationary packet, send him letters, even if you don't hear back, have home sent you a visitor application, tell him to sign a medical form that allows you access to his medical records and notice to you if anything were to happen.
Good luck

We all send him mail, I send something every single day. I've sent him 3 stationary packages. He's sent 1 letter to me & 1 to his kids. I've sent him the medical form but not heard if he received it. I also ask in ever letter to send visiting forms.