Notice to new members intending to register - from January 9th 2012

ShellMatt · #1 04-25-2012, 09:54 AM

My husband has just been sentenced to 10years. Our kids are depressed and angry and I feel like I am slowly sinking in quick sand. How long before this feeling fades? I am doing everything I can think of just to remember how to keep breathing normal.

What a wild ride the Florida Justice system has taken my family on. Does anyone else feel like the state was out to get you and your family along with the defendent? I have always believed in our justice system and that it works, but now I am not so sure.

Ok I think I will stop complaining before I get really bad. Just hoping there is someone out there who feels the same and that I really am not alone in this crazy battle.

NAN425 · #2 04-25-2012, 04:30 PM

Hi Shell, sorry you are going through this!

Yes, I think a lot of us felt that way, that the state was out to get us and not just our loved ones. I'm pretty sure most of us here would also agree with you that our experience has taken away any faith that we ever had in the so-called justice system in this country.

Obviously I am fortunate that our family is not facing the challenge that you are, as far as time to deal with (although we easily could have been). I will say that I do remember those days when it was just a challenge to get through the next hour. Take it one hour at a time if you have to. Then gradually it becomes one day at a time. Then one week...you get the idea. Time will start to move. You stop feeling so much like someone is sitting on your chest as you adjust to the new world you live in.

One thing - adjusting and learning to live with it does not have to mean you like the situation and are happy having your husband away. Do not give yourself a guilt trip over that. It just means that you've learned how to survive because you have to.

You're not alone...there are many, many of us here in the same situation who are here to support each other. Hang in there!

ShellMatt · #3 04-26-2012, 09:09 AM

It is so nice to hear that there are people who understand. While it is something you know in your head, in your heart you feel so alone. Thank you.

Shell

Boandaisey · #4 04-26-2012, 06:39 PM

Shell welcome to the PTO family. you have come to the right place. We have all felt those emotions and we totally understand. Each day that passes is a little easier but I still feel like I am doing the bid with him. Hang tuff you will make it thru this. Hug and kiss your babies they need you.

jaredsmermaid · #5 04-27-2012, 12:16 AM

Hi Shell, welcome to PTO. You are not alone! I hope you find some relief and get support here.

Pretty name by the way

Aloha from far away............ Sent from my iPhone using PrisonTalk

ShellMatt · #6 04-27-2012, 03:53 AM

Thank you. I have only been on here a few days, but already feeling welcomed and so understood, I am sure you all understand that. It sucks that we have to meet this way, but I am happy to meet all of you

Thank you for the words of encouragement!

MariSanti · #7 04-27-2012, 07:56 AM

Welcome, Shell! I echo what all of these other strong ladies have stated. It is a rough road and ride - but you'll begin to realize you are much stronger than you think (and feel right now).

My best advice to you is to ask all the questions you need/want to so you understand this whole world/process. The women and men on this site - and in the FL Forum - are so supportive and knowledgeable.

Once your husband gets settled in at his assigned facility, you'll develop some sort of routine (with letters, calls, visits), which does make things somewhat easier (for lack of a better term).

Good luck to you and feel free to PM me if you ever need to.

Mari

lmlindsey · #8 04-27-2012, 10:38 AM

Welcome and I am so sorry you all are having to experience this. This place is so welcoming and wonderful and have found tons of support just like you will. So many questions have been answered for me and it helps a lot!

My husband got sentenced to 15 years back in March and I can say I still am trying so hard to wrap my head around the whole thing. I will say it does get easier to handle. He has been gone since the trial in January. Take it day by day, minute by minute if you need to.

I feel you on the whole state thing. With my husbands case it just feels like he was pushed right through with no through investigating and the last public defender we had just kind of seemed... "eh". I try not to hate the state but when you feel like they railroaded your entire family it is kind of hard not to.

Anyways..if you have any questions everyone here is great. If you need to vent people will listen and help you. This place has become a second family to me. Hugs to you and your family!

ShellMatt · #9 04-27-2012, 10:50 PM

Thank you! Everyone has been just great!

mardavjar · #10 05-01-2012, 10:52 PM

I'm sorry about your husband's sentence. I do understand how you feel about Florida Justice system. I still like they are out to get anyone in our family! We have paid and paid and paid. It will never be enough. My son is home now but goes nowhere except work and probation office. Looks like it will be that way for at least another year or more. The last 4 years has been a living hell on our family. I don't think we will ever be the same.

MomofShane · #11 05-02-2012, 05:15 PM

Hi Shell,

My son was sentenced to 10 years (mandatory minimum and his very first time in trouble) as well and I was beyond crushed. His children were small then, 6 and 3. That was in 2008. His release date with gain time isn't until the end of 2016.

I have to tell you that the time has flown by. The visits help a lot, especially for the kids. Unfortunately I can't see him as often as I'd like since I'm in N. Georgia. I get down there to visit about once every 4-6 weeks. Thankfully we have a close family and we make sure he gets to see one of us (with his children) at least monthly.

Getting a phone account set up and also an account for him will help. You'll do that through JPay (Jpay.com). That will help him get some things he'll need.

I know 10 years looks so far away. Once you whittle that down with gain time it's 8.5 years. On top of that, if he's been good and is eligible for work release, that can be applied for about 28 months before his release. (If I'm incorrect with my calculation, someone will let us know)

With work release, from what I understand, they're allowed to come home for a certain amount of time, maybe 8 hours or so, once a week after meeting certain criteria such as being employed for greater than 30 days and have a facility-approved vehicle to be picked up in, etc. That's helpful! It help us see the light at the end of the tunnel. In the meantime, spend time here reading and networking. While I haven't posted much, I've been here for a little over 3 years and have read a lot.

We're here for you!

Wendy

ShellMatt · #12 05-02-2012, 06:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MomofShane

Hi Shell,

My son was sentenced to 10 years (mandatory minimum and his very first time in trouble) as well and I was beyond crushed. His children were small then, 6 and 3. That was in 2008. His release date with gain time isn't until the end of 2016.

I have to tell you that the time has flown by. The visits help a lot, especially for the kids. Unfortunately I can't see him as often as I'd like since I'm in N. Georgia. I get down there to visit about once every 4-6 weeks. Thankfully we have a close family and we make sure he gets to see one of us (with his children) at least monthly.

Getting a phone account set up and also an account for him will help. You'll do that through JPay (Jpay.com). That will help him get some things he'll need.

I know 10 years looks so far away. Once you whittle that down with gain time it's 8.5 years. On top of that, if he's been good and is eligible for work release, that can be applied for about 28 months before his release. (If I'm incorrect with my calculation, someone will let us know)

With work release, from what I understand, they're allowed to come home for a certain amount of time, maybe 8 hours or so, once a week after meeting certain criteria such as being employed for greater than 30 days and have a facility-approved vehicle to be picked up in, etc. That's helpful! It help us see the light at the end of the tunnel. In the meantime, spend time here reading and networking. While I haven't posted much, I've been here for a little over 3 years and have read a lot.

We're here for you!

Wendy

Wendy, thank you. You made it sound bearable

I didn't know that he could possible be allowed to work on the work release. If he is/could that would be really great, I know it would be awhile, but it would still be great

. I am sorry we had to meet this way, but I am glad to meet you, and all the really nice ppl I have meet since coming on here. I just wish I could find something like this for our kids.