Notice to new members intending to register - from January 9th 2012

ILovehim1 · #26 05-14-2012, 09:32 PM

I do not think I would print off my facebook page and send it to him. Sometimes he will be asking what's on facebook and at first he questioned me and thought I just had one to talk to guys. I told him I have it to talk to family and friends and now he doesn't really talk about it.

ExtremeArtistry · #27 05-14-2012, 11:37 PM

My husband actually had someone looking at my FB page.

Forever&aDay · #28 05-14-2012, 11:42 PM

My personal opinion has nothing to do with why he wants it because I don't really see it as a big deal...I would allow my husband to see it...I wouldn't want the COs with that kind of info about me or access to people who know me.

Lisa Jeanne · #29 05-15-2012, 12:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shibbz

I just received a sweet letter from my hun yesterday: not in a relationship (on our way), but it was stating that he acknowledges we have an emotional attachment and would be devastated if I couldn't visit. It was a sweet letter. At the end though, he dated it the following day he said he was rethinking sending it but did it anyway (because he doesn't want it to change how I act with him).

ANYWAY Right after that he asked to see my facebook page. He has never been on a social networking site, not even myspace back in the day but quoted from his letter..

"from my understanding your profile is a reflection of yourself. It's got your likes such as music, photos, art, and design, all which say something about yourself. That's how I interpret it anyway. I just thought it would be a nice way to learn more about who this mysterious girl is that I've been writing."

One. Not sure how to take it. I've been writing to him for quite a while, he probably knows me better than anyone else, and I've sent him all of my facebook pictures.. so why does he need my profile too?
Two. I'm wondering if he's just being nosy about how I socially interact with others. (Guys lol). We're not in a relationship so even if I was flirting with guys on my page it wouldn't be a big deal.
Three. I made my facebook recently.. in April. I have 27 friends. Almost nothing. I don't think it's even worth sending.
Four. I'm going to do it anyway, because I have nothing to hide.. but I'm wondering if this is a potential red flag? I mean he's not mean about it, but he sure knows a lot about providing he's never been around one. Now I'm thinking other guys might have said look at her facebook page to see if she's up to anything.. you know?

Comments would be nice, my decisions already been made. And I kinda want to know is it something you'd do?

Laughing.....my FB page is all about him.....not me. I created it for him to help free him from a 22yr nightmare due to a wrongful conviction. So, I guess your concern doesn't really apply to my situation.

Seriously though, your guy sounds very sweet and sincere. Even if other inmates were filling his head with doubts, would it matter? I don't believe we are responsible for others underlying motivations (MWI or not). I believe we are only responsible for own own motivations, actions and authenticity. Or, lack thereof.

These men have been so closeted from society and social interaction.....let alone intimate relationship interaction that, if it were me, would not matter. They are so sensory deprived of color, nature, pretty smelly things etc...that I indulge curiosities and longings wherever and whenever I can. Mine recently asked what a blog was and has never even seen a computer. That is when reality hits and my heart goes out to him.

Besides, even if you were as you say, flirting on FB, there is nothing in the world wrong with flirting. If your man is secure (and sounds like he is) he wouldn't be upset. I think as MWI we are sometimes acutely aware and sensitive to their needs, while dismissing our own. Or not.

Maybe it's kinda easier for me to understand where they are coming from... having been in prison myself.

Hmmm....

NileMusiq · #30 05-15-2012, 03:21 AM

Girl, that is a tricky situation, IMO. Been there and done that. Sent my page and then it was ON! My MWI was pissed at my status, he thought it should say I was in a relationship. IMO I'm in love with a person in prison but we can not participate in a complete and reciprocal relationship. We women give to much of ourselves to the most "unavailable" men. Realistically, we are creating a relationship, not circumstances, then we are giving to a relationship that requires more deposits than withdrawals. It gets lopsided. When we are dating though or not, if he was out you'd have access to his FB page as it is public social interaction. So it may be that he is NOT trying to control you but want to see how you roll. I PURPOSEDLY do not waste my time on men whose pages look like a Penthouse magazine. This is a question of trust. He wants to know what you really have on there and if you are willing to be open with him. He would see it anyway if he had access to the web.
Just be honest and open with him. I explained to my MWI until we were married I would still be single but I changed it to "in a relationship". See we had a 4 year break, last year before we began talking again, I saw he had a pen pal page. It did not bother me until we started talking again. I was grieved later. However, we are GROWN, and "I let Go and let GOD". My MWI is NO JOKE! We take risks in relationships everyday! Let the relationship takes it's course and don't try to control things. I would send the front page and ask him to feel free to discuss anything. THAT is how you know what's in your MWI's head. No guessing. The thing that is off limits is the emails, you would not be in his if he were free or peeping his cell. It's your call on how you want the relationship to be with your man.

MikesWifey · #31 05-15-2012, 06:19 PM

Not a problem in the world with it, if he saw something he didnt like we would talk about it but there is nothing, FB is so boring I barely go on it.

dixiebelle1973 · #32 05-15-2012, 08:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shibbz

I just received a sweet letter from my hun yesterday: not in a relationship (on our way), but it was stating that he acknowledges we have an emotional attachment and would be devastated if I couldn't visit. It was a sweet letter. At the end though, he dated it the following day he said he was rethinking sending it but did it anyway (because he doesn't want it to change how I act with him).

ANYWAY Right after that he asked to see my facebook page. He has never been on a social networking site, not even myspace back in the day but quoted from his letter..

"from my understanding your profile is a reflection of yourself. It's got your likes such as music, photos, art, and design, all which say something about yourself. That's how I interpret it anyway. I just thought it would be a nice way to learn more about who this mysterious girl is that I've been writing."

One. Not sure how to take it. I've been writing to him for quite a while, he probably knows me better than anyone else, and I've sent him all of my facebook pictures.. so why does he need my profile too?
Two. I'm wondering if he's just being nosy about how I socially interact with others. (Guys lol). We're not in a relationship so even if I was flirting with guys on my page it wouldn't be a big deal.
Three. I made my facebook recently.. in April. I have 27 friends. Almost nothing. I don't think it's even worth sending.
Four. I'm going to do it anyway, because I have nothing to hide.. but I'm wondering if this is a potential red flag? I mean he's not mean about it, but he sure knows a lot about providing he's never been around one. Now I'm thinking other guys might have said look at her facebook page to see if she's up to anything.. you know?

Comments would be nice, my decisions already been made. And I kinda want to know is it something you'd do?

Me I'd take it as he's trying to get to know me better. My man and I share everything. no secrets BUT we are engaged!

Just Jen · #33 05-15-2012, 08:30 PM

Is Oklahoma the only state that won't allow printouts from FB? I sent him something I wrote as a note, kind of like a blog, and he was forced to mail it back to me. They said that because there were pictures, names and comments of other people on there, he couldn't have it.

On the subject of sharing that sort of information, I share with him anything I would normally share with a SO. If there is something I choose not to share, and he gets bent out of shape about it (it's never happened), I really have no problem telling him that insecurity is unattractive. We both take risks in trusting each other: Him in trusting I'm not sneaking around, and me in trusting him that he isn't just playing/using me.

L0stNL0ve · #34 05-15-2012, 08:36 PM

Well i have all his family on thier so there is nothing to hide i actually send him screen shots of stuff when i write about certain things. he has never had a facebook so now the facebook page i have is ours <3

shibbz · #35 05-16-2012, 07:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NileMusiq

Girl, that is a tricky situation, IMO. Been there and done that. Sent my page and then it was ON! My MWI was pissed at my status, he thought it should say I was in a relationship. IMO I'm in love with a person in prison but we can not participate in a complete and reciprocal relationship. We women give to much of ourselves to the most "unavailable" men. Realistically, we are creating a relationship, not circumstances, then we are giving to a relationship that requires more deposits than withdrawals. It gets lopsided. When we are dating though or not, if he was out you'd have access to his FB page as it is public social interaction. So it may be that he is NOT trying to control you but want to see how you roll. I PURPOSEDLY do not waste my time on men whose pages look like a Penthouse magazine. This is a question of trust. He wants to know what you really have on there and if you are willing to be open with him. He would see it anyway if he had access to the web.
Just be honest and open with him. I explained to my MWI until we were married I would still be single but I changed it to "in a relationship". See we had a 4 year break, last year before we began talking again, I saw he had a pen pal page. It did not bother me until we started talking again. I was grieved later. However, we are GROWN, and "I let Go and let GOD". My MWI is NO JOKE! We take risks in relationships everyday! Let the relationship takes it's course and don't try to control things. I would send the front page and ask him to feel free to discuss anything. THAT is how you know what's in your MWI's head. No guessing. The thing that is off limits is the emails, you would not be in his if he were free or peeping his cell. It's your call on how you want the relationship to be with your man.

Girl this is the best advice I've received. I never even though of the creating the relationship thing.. you're absolutely right though. I already sent it to him

Candy4U · #36 05-16-2012, 07:19 AM

This is easy... Tell him ur profile is private n in order for him to see it he must b a member. N leave it as that.

Abraann · #37 05-16-2012, 12:41 PM

If you have nothing to hide who cares!?

Lotus4him · #38 05-16-2012, 01:01 PM

I would let him see it because we don't keep nothing from one another. That is what keeps us and our love strong

babygiirl · #39 05-16-2012, 09:38 PM

i would have no problem sending him mine. i'm faithful to him & there's nothing i'm hiding. besides i'm friends with his family on there so if there WERE things that he wouldn't like i'm sure they would tell him first!

NileMusiq · #40 05-18-2012, 06:12 AM

See you feel better. No games are being played.

marissaa · #41 05-19-2012, 06:49 PM

I'm curious, how does one "send" him your FB? Like you print it out and send it to him? Or what..

Leos mom · #42 05-19-2012, 08:48 PM

Share it with him. After all, you share it with your "friends", right? He's your "friend", right? It's a public forum. If you are embarrassed by anything he might see on there, perhaps you shouldn't have posted that in the first place. Employers check out your Facebook page. Remember, anything you post on there is public and anyone can see it, if they want to. Where there's a will, there's a way. Regardless of how you have your privacy settings. Once you post it on the internet, it's out there. Even if you remove it, it's still there, somewhere...

I agree that he can learn a lot more about you by what you post and photos you have posted. I get a "kick" out of looking at people's FB pages, that I don't know, and developing my own opinion of what kind of a person they are just by what they have posted. Try it some time. I think you'll realize what your guy is trying to figure out from looking at your FB page...

NileMusiq · #43 05-20-2012, 03:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by marissaa

I'm curious, how does one "send" him your FB? Like you print it out and send it to him? Or what..

Yes, you just print the page and mail it to him.

Psychocandy · #44 06-23-2012, 05:06 AM

If I had facebook(which i dont). He would be more than welcome to see anything thats on it.

Rae87 · #45 06-23-2012, 11:55 AM

I'd send it to him. No big deal

BrandonsBabe · #46 06-23-2012, 01:03 PM

I don't see a problem. He's asking this knowing very well that you could delete anything before sending it to him.
This is my idea about those things: If you two trust each other, you wouldn't ask for passwords, but if you two trust each other, there also won't be a need to hide them. It's all about respect. I know he can't log on or anything, but I think you get the gist.

Temeron0926 · #47 06-23-2012, 10:27 PM

I have 175 friends on my FB page, most of them are relatives and friends from high school. I wouldn't hesitate to send my page to my love if he wanted it. I don't really post anything personal on it tho. I use it to express myself in photos, quotes, pictures. I have no problem with sending it to him.

SinCityKitty · #48 06-24-2012, 03:03 AM

Fine by me. As it is, I'm FB friends with many members of his family so if they saw something shady going down...I'm sure he'd eventually hear about it.

Sent from my iPhone using PrisonTalk

slick's · #49 06-24-2012, 04:42 AM

I'd be fine with it. I have nothing to hide! I think he would never ask for it though because he trusts me completely plus many family members of his are on my friend list so he knows he would hear about it if something strange were going on...

all4bourne · #50 06-24-2012, 06:12 PM

We have talked about FB many times and I would have no problems showing him my page. I tell him everything I do....we talk about all the people that are in my life. He knows more about me than anyone on FB!