Notice to new members intending to register - from January 9th 2012

rooks.onelove08 · #1 06-06-2012, 09:59 PM

So my son is 4 yrs old. I told him daddy is in big boy timeout and its because he was bad and didnt follow the rules. Well when he came home from daycare today, he told me his teacher asked him where his daddy is. he, not knowing any better, told her he was in jail, and she started pressing him and questioning him about why hes there!!! The kid is 4!!! hes not going to know stuff like that, and why would you be asking him stuff like that, when more than likely he is already stressed behind it!?!?!? (he is) .... please tell me im not overreacting, because im raising he-ll tomorrow when we go in. Ive had issues with this teacher before and this just puts the icing on the cake for me.

dixiebelle1973 · #2 06-06-2012, 10:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rooks.onelove08

So my son is 4 yrs old. I told him daddy is in big boy timeout and its because he was bad and didnt follow the rules. Well when he came home from daycare today, he told me his teacher asked him where his daddy is. he, not knowing any better, told her he was in jail, and she started pressing him and questioning him about why hes there!!! The kid is 4!!! hes not going to know stuff like that, and why would you be asking him stuff like that, when more than likely he is already stressed behind it!?!?!? (he is) .... please tell me im not overreacting, because im raising he-ll tomorrow when we go in. Ive had issues with this teacher before and this just puts the icing on the cake for me.

I agree...I wouldn't put up with them traumatizing your child.

rooks.onelove08 · #3 06-06-2012, 10:06 PM

yea, i mean, im not going to tell my son WHY hes there all he needs to know is that he broke rules. But this broad had NO right to keep pushing him and if the director doesnt handle her this time, im calling her boss.

InmateLover67 · #4 06-06-2012, 10:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rooks.onelove08

So my son is 4 yrs old. I told him daddy is in big boy timeout and its because he was bad and didnt follow the rules. Well when he came home from daycare today, he told me his teacher asked him where his daddy is. he, not knowing any better, told her he was in jail, and she started pressing him and questioning him about why hes there!!! The kid is 4!!! hes not going to know stuff like that, and why would you be asking him stuff like that, when more than likely he is already stressed behind it!?!?!? (he is) .... please tell me im not overreacting, because im raising he-ll tomorrow when we go in. Ive had issues with this teacher before and this just puts the icing on the cake for me.

You have every right to be pissed and I would set her straight tomorrow and tell her to NEVER question your child again, if she has questions she can ask you, since you are the adult, and his parent.

I hope you get it ironed out with her.

Peace~

rooks.onelove08 · #5 06-06-2012, 10:15 PM

thanks... i just needed to make sure i wasnt overreacting (i tend to do that) because tomorrow i plan on giving her a piece of my mind. I dont think 19 yr olds have any business working in a daycare anyways. ugh. im ready to yank him out of that "school"

InmateLover67 · #6 06-06-2012, 10:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rooks.onelove08

thanks... i just needed to make sure i wasnt overreacting (i tend to do that) because tomorrow i plan on giving her a piece of my mind. I dont think 19 yr olds have any business working in a daycare anyways. ugh. im ready to yank him out of that "school"

I did not realize he was at a daycare, I thought it was some school for smart kids...lol. Not that he is not smart, but you know what I mean.

Maybe she was questioning him because her guy is locked up too...Just a thought, but I would still let her know that she stepped out of bounds when she asked him and not you.

Peace~

Princess1029 · #7 06-06-2012, 10:26 PM

I'd be upset too. I do not have kids, but it that happened to me I'd be VERY upset about it.

krc1abc1 · #8 06-06-2012, 10:27 PM

She was totally in the wrong. It is not her business. If she wanted to ask she should have asked you. She is way out of bounds

Jootje · #9 06-06-2012, 11:18 PM

Not in any way, shape or form is that her business. Yes you should talk to her and tell if she has any questions, no matter what the issue, she should talk directly to you and not to anybody else, not your son, not your neighbor, nobody but you.

AmberLeigh · #10 06-06-2012, 11:51 PM

People are just to nosy! If she was curious about why she should have asked you not your little boy! You have every right to be mad! I am mad for you and I don't even know you.....I live in a small town so I know how people can be and if you don't put your foot down it just gets worse.

csgirlalways · #11 06-07-2012, 12:32 AM

You're not overreacting, there is no way that any of that information is her business...and the poor kid is only 4! I'd definitely be finding out exactly what was going on and thinking about looking for a new daycare.

nimuay · #12 06-07-2012, 03:09 AM

It would upset me, but if there's trauma in a kid's life it may be coming out in small behaviors during the time he's in daycare. She may actually be caring . . . but being 19 she might not know the best way to go about dealing with it. Don't be too angry, because you won't get any kind of good reaction, your son will have to deal with the fallout of her reaction to her own anger, and anger keeps learning from happening . . . for all of you!

**Patty** · #13 06-07-2012, 03:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rooks.onelove08

So my son is 4 yrs old. I told him daddy is in big boy timeout and its because he was bad and didnt follow the rules. Well when he came home from daycare today, he told me his teacher asked him where his daddy is. he, not knowing any better, told her he was in jail, and she started pressing him and questioning him about why hes there!!! The kid is 4!!! hes not going to know stuff like that, and why would you be asking him stuff like that, when more than likely he is already stressed behind it!?!?!? (he is) .... please tell me im not overreacting, because im raising he-ll tomorrow when we go in. Ive had issues with this teacher before and this just puts the icing on the cake for me.

I'm wondering how your son presented the situation to you. You mention she started pressing him - I'm guessing those are your words not his. I'd take a moment to hear her out before you "raise hell". I'm not condoning her behavior necessarily, I just think you need to hear her side of the story. Naturally, as mother's our instinct and duty is to our children but things aren't always what they seem. Having said that of course you are justified in your anger if she blatantly harrassed your little one regarding his father's incarceration. Take a deep breath and proceed. I hope you are able to resolve this quickly.

**Onedaycloser13** · #14 06-07-2012, 05:08 AM

Having worked in a number of pre-schools and having experience with my own children, this is very common. More than parents probably would think. Whether it is because the teachers are nosy or that they are concerned(which from my experience is rarely the case). I as a parent, have told the teachers that if they have any questions about me or my family, please pose them to me and not my child.

rooks.onelove08 · #15 06-07-2012, 12:21 PM

Well i talked to the director, and she agrees that she shouldnt have asked him about WHY he is there. And idk if she is defending the teacher or being honest, but she said that my son tells them he misses his daddy (which he does at home regularly) so they asked him where he is and he told them... The director already knew, just incase anything like this came up. Now im torn, and idk what to do.

nimuay · #16 06-07-2012, 01:21 PM

Just do some gentle education . . . anger won't get you anywhere.

Jootje · #17 06-08-2012, 12:39 AM

well you talked to the director about it and if he tells you at home how much he missed daddy than I would assume she is being honest if she tells you that he does mention that at daycare as well. I would leave it at this since you have discussed it now. There is no need to take it any further or get angry or worked up about it any more. The only thing you could still do is tell the director to mention it to the teacher of your child to not ask your child as for why he is locked up because that is personal and uncalled for to ask a 4year old.

rooks.onelove08 · #18 06-08-2012, 07:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jootje

well you talked to the director about it and if he tells you at home how much he missed daddy than I would assume she is being honest if she tells you that he does mention that at daycare as well. I would leave it at this since you have discussed it now. There is no need to take it any further or get angry or worked up about it any more. The only thing you could still do is tell the director to mention it to the teacher of your child to not ask your child as for why he is locked up because that is personal and uncalled for to ask a 4year old.

Yea im not upset anymore, i just told her to tell the teacher not to be asking him why, because all he knows is daddy broke the rules. and she will just stress him more... im thinking about signing him up for sports or karate or something to keep his mind occupied.

savienu · #19 06-09-2012, 05:20 AM

No, I do not think you are overreacting at ALL! That is horrible, and I would furious about it as well. It is a) not her business why he's in there and b) not a child's responsibility to fill her in on all the details that he doesn't understand anyway!

thisfamily · #20 06-09-2012, 05:27 AM

I think that's horrible... I would take my kid out of that daycare pronto. No argument. My kid, my rules. I don't care if anyone thinks I am a bitch.. but when it comes to my baby, I am a mama bear. Fk that idiot teacher! Then when you enroll your kid in a new daycare... inform the director to let the teachers to not be so damn nosy and put your child in that awful position. Your kid is NOT an adult!!

thatwiz · #21 06-09-2012, 02:14 PM

If someone was saying to you all the time, I miss XXXX. The next question would be why? Whether the person is in the army, in jail or deceased. I don't think the teacher was out of line-its the next common question for anyone that actually is listening to what the kid is saying. If noone cared, noone would even ask any further.Talking about things for some makes it easier and maybe the teacher thought that letting the little one vent would be helpful and not hurtful. Not everyone is cruel and trying to be nosy, because honestly, most people only care about their own situation and could care less about someone elses.

savienu · #22 06-09-2012, 03:13 PM

Well, I think it's natural to ask what's wrong, but where I feel the teacher crossed the line was pressing the kid on all the DETAILS of his Dad's incarceration. To find out he's in prison would be one thing, and then you go from then and try and comfort the child. You don't pester him for details that I'm sure he doesn't have and aren't the teacher's business anyway.

rooks.onelove08 · #23 06-18-2012, 02:44 PM

yea im okay with them asking whats wrong especially if he is bringing it to them... but questioning him WHY he is in there is what pissed me off. My son is 4. Im not telling him why all he knows is daddy broke rules. the teacher should have been like awww im sorry well he will be home before you know it, or something alone those lines. Questioning why= unacceptable.

Justme1379 · #24 06-18-2012, 02:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rooks.onelove08

So my son is 4 yrs old. I told him daddy is in big boy timeout and its because he was bad and didnt follow the rules. Well when he came home from daycare today, he told me his teacher asked him where his daddy is. he, not knowing any better, told her he was in jail, and she started pressing him and questioning him about why hes there!!! The kid is 4!!! hes not going to know stuff like that, and why would you be asking him stuff like that, when more than likely he is already stressed behind it!?!?!? (he is) .... please tell me im not overreacting, because im raising he-ll tomorrow when we go in. Ive had issues with this teacher before and this just puts the icing on the cake for me.

Of course u have the right to b p...off!! My brother is locked up over drugs. One day I was gng to pick up his ex and his 2 boys. I got pulled over for speeding and was asked where I was gng. When I answered him he asked why I was picking her and the kids up and I said to visit my brother...then he wanted to know why he was locked up..I didn't lie. I told the truth...he asked my aunt and then my 6 year old (13 now) to get out of the car n the rain and searched my car inside out...stand up for yourself and your baby. She had no rt to interrogate him. If that doesn't work...I would call cps and ask them about it

Hisoneandonly · #25 07-04-2012, 06:09 AM

I would be mad to, its one thing to ask why he was missing daddy, its another to ask him why his daddy is in jail..I would be pissed to.