Notice to new members intending to register - from January 9th 2012

LonelyConfused · #1 06-09-2012, 06:56 PM

So I have been corresponding with an inmate who I was friends with before he started his time. He hardly calls... We talk on the phone once a month...even though he tells me he gets 300 mins a month. He claims he has other calls to make to his kids moms, his mom, and others... Leaving no time for me..he would rather for me to just email him on Corrlinks... Am I being played for a fool?? I love him and want to be with him when he gets home..but I think he is just using me to pass the time.

InmateLover67 · #2 06-09-2012, 07:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LonelyConfused

So I have been corresponding with an inmate who I was friends with before he started his time. He hardly calls... We talk on the phone once a month...even though he tells me he gets 300 mins a month. He claims he has other calls to make to his kids moms, his mom, and others... Leaving no time for me..he would rather for me to just email him on Corrlinks... Am I being played for a fool?? I love him and want to be with him when he gets home..but I think he is just using me to pass the time.

Does not sound like to me he is that into you.....I would think if he was using you, he would be doing more than asking you to email and talk on the phone once a month. That is not very much contact with someone you claim to care for.

Has he professed to you that he wants to be committed? Why don't you go on living your life and if he gets out and you choose to date, then so be it. I would not sit around waiting and hoping to be with someone that is not showing me in the slightest way that they want to be with me.

I suggest you play him for a fool and let him be....make him go after you...I know that is immature, but you might give it a try. Do not be so readily available to him, he might change his tune.

Peace~

hisbabygurl2014 · #3 06-09-2012, 07:35 PM

yeah like Inmatelover AKA Miss Blunt (MB) said ,he may not be that into you. He doesnt want to hurt your feelings. Or did he tell you that he liked you? if so than it maybe a different story.

cuffedlove · #4 06-09-2012, 07:43 PM

To me it kinda sounds like maybe hes just taking it kinda slow, typical "using you" behavior would involve sending him money, canteen things like that, if not talking on the phone is a big issue, then test the waters with an offer to set a phone account up (you pay for it) so that he can talk to you more, maybe hes being cautious and doesnt want to "tie you down" alot of the men in prison feel alot of guilt when they know that their girl is 'waiting' for them, and some take it slowly because they cant do anything about what you choose to do, talk to him about it, but it definetly doesnt sound like your being used, just maybe that you have more feelings invested in him, have you told him that you want to be with him? (that you want a relationship) if not, tell him, and if he doesnt feel the same way at least you know where you stand, but if he does, then tell him you need him to step it up, just a thought

BrandonsBabe · #5 06-09-2012, 07:44 PM

If he doesn't make you a priority, don't make him one. It really doesn't sound like he's all that into you. The only reason I would say you should be more understanding is if he has a HUGE family. Three hundred minutes a month really isn't a lot (I know, and I get a call almost every day.) but he can allot time for you, like my boyfriend does me. He manages to call everyone he needs to and still call me every day, until the end of the month, where he still calls each day so I can tell him I love him, without accepting the call. If he has a ridiculously large family (I'm talking at least five siblings.) then that's really the only reason you should reconsider. I think he is just kinda stringing you along, personally. I've always said that if a guy wants to see you, he will. If he wants to talk to you, he will. If he wanted to talk more, he would find a way.

ilovecoffee · #6 06-09-2012, 07:45 PM

I could tell you either one of your option in your poll, but I dont think you have much backround on your situaton.

epasil2 · #7 06-09-2012, 07:54 PM

Girl just move on he ain't showing much interest! Why would u want someone in jail!!! In staying cuz I love em n we were engaged before he went in...but this is not a life u want! Having the one u love in there sucks!!! It really isn't something u want! Get a free men that loves u not incarcerated!!!!

**shaunna** · #8 06-09-2012, 07:54 PM

I don't mean to sound like a broken record but I agree with what the others have said I don't think he's using you but it sounds as if the feelings are more on your side - if he felt the same way as you do, he wouldn't use all his phone minutes but he'd at least use SOME. The fact that he'd rather just email seems to be like he does want to communicate with you but maybe more on a friendly basis

Miss_A · #9 06-09-2012, 07:54 PM

I can't say one way or the other based on the info you posted. Are you two an official couple?

LonelyConfused · #10 06-09-2012, 08:00 PM

He tells me that he wants to be with me. We have plans go do so when he comes home. He sends cards for every holiday. We write several times on corrlinks. When I confront him about the phone situation he tells me that im making a big deal out of nothin( anhe uses the minutes to calls his kids...who live with their moms of course. I try to be understanding . I have told him if im a priority then he would call me too. It has gotten to the point where we are beefing about it via email...if I dont email him then he eventually calls. I appreciate all of the responses... He is coming home very soon...in less than a month... I just need to know if I should be waiting around for this dude...he has four kids in three different households... He said he cant get extra mins... I told him I would pay for them and all... He said...nope we can only get 300... So wow... Its a thin line between patience and being fed up. We have plans when he comes out... I think im being played... :-(

HardHeadedWoman · #11 06-09-2012, 08:02 PM

sounds like he isnt as into you as you are to him or he is using minutes on some other girl. I could be wrong though.

Lily Blaise · #12 06-09-2012, 08:07 PM

In my view, how he allocates his phone minutes communicates who he wants to be closest to and how important they are to him. What he is saying is that you're only worth speaking to once a month and otherwise he'd rather not speak to you and just email. Of course you're worth much more than that!! So, put your energy, love and care into a man who values you enough to speak to you more often than once a month.

epasil2 · #13 06-09-2012, 08:07 PM

There girls r always first!!!! My bf only gets one call a week m it's for me not fam or sisters or brother....very few r

Miss_A · #14 06-09-2012, 08:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LonelyConfused

He tells me that he wants to be with me. We have plans go do so when he comes home. He sends cards for every holiday. We write several times on corrlinks. When I confront him about the phone situation he tells me that im making a big deal out of nothin( anhe uses the minutes to calls his kids...who live with their moms of course. I try to be understanding . I have told him if im a priority then he would call me too. It has gotten to the point where we are beefing about it via email...if I dont email him then he eventually calls. I appreciate all of the responses... He is coming home very soon...in less than a month... I just need to know if I should be waiting around for this dude...he has four kids in three different households... He said he cant get extra mins... I told him I would pay for them and all... He said...nope we can only get 300... So wow... Its a thin line between patience and being fed up. We have plans when he comes out... I think im being played... :-(

It's true that federal inmates only get 300 talk time minutes Jan. - Oct. But based on what you posted, I'm led to believe that he isn't that interested in you. Not only that, but he has 4 kids by 3 different women. That right there is some major drama. And my advice would be to NOT wait on him. I have a feeling he won't honor anything he said to you, anyway.

Mcox'sbabygirl · #15 06-09-2012, 08:14 PM

My husband has 3 kids 3 different moms. He calls them but calls me 3x a day. How long can he be talking to them? I think he playing games

LonelyConfused · #16 06-09-2012, 08:18 PM

Sad sad sad... Thanks ladies... (tears)

Lily Blaise · #17 06-09-2012, 08:25 PM

Big hug!

Quote:

Originally Posted by LonelyConfused

Sad sad sad... Thanks ladies... (tears)

hisbabyny · #18 06-09-2012, 08:57 PM

how long have you been together? and how old are the kids? i would still think that you as his woman would get more than 1 call a month. my guy is in federal and he has a Huge family yes 5 siblings!! they get one call a month. 3 adult kids that dont live with BM' thank goodness' and he spends half the minutes calling me. i hate the thought of imagine him just wasting your time unless he has been trying to take it slow and wait until he is out? i hate to jump to conclusions but i guess it doesnt look too good.

you are not a fool though' some guys are master manipulators. so dont put yourself down. something dont sound right. i would definetly fall way back and let him prove himself.

canadiangirl098 · #19 06-09-2012, 09:09 PM

how often do you 2 email each other or do you write snail mail to each other as well does he ask you to send him some money and stuff..to me using someone is when they want you to still spend money on them but dont want to talk to you much.. i would say like some of the other ones said is that either he isnt into you or wants to take things slow

AmberLeigh · #20 06-09-2012, 09:26 PM

If he is calling 3 different households to talk to his kids that is 100 minutes per household a month which is around 6 calls. He gets 20 15 minute calls a month. Are the people he is calling not able to use corrlinks? Do you send him money because corrlinks costs them too. How often does he e-mail? There is so much that could be going on. he may not be into you. He may be using his phone time for those unable to e-mail him all day. I think if you are questioning your relationship enough to post a poll you already know what you think is going on and you know him better then any of us.

Mrs.taylor2011 · #21 06-09-2012, 09:28 PM

i dont think hes playing you,i think he would rather be friends with you,rather then you being his gf seems if he wanted it to be more you guys would be talking more..dont get to caught up or try to push things to be faster..ill say be his friend instead of trying to be his gf for the time being.

**tee.dot.q** · #22 06-09-2012, 09:58 PM

Listen to your gut - it's rarely wrong.

gracey27 · #23 06-10-2012, 04:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LonelyConfused

Sad sad sad... Thanks ladies... (tears)

Aawh hugs luv. You deserve so much better

luv my mookie

ahora2012 · #24 06-10-2012, 06:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LonelyConfused

Sad sad sad... Thanks ladies... (tears)

i know its a hard pill to swollow - but people make time for what is important. if it were me - i would cut the correlinks, i wouldnt write and i would not be waiting when he got him - he is coming with a lot of baggage that will take sometime to get straight - when he calls - i would be busy.

i am curious - why you say -"i love him so much" how can you know that with barely any communication?

if you are not sure - yes!!!! you deserve a man who is 100% totally completely in love with you and showing it - by his actions!!! words are empty. you ar enot asking for too much. best

AllieKat12 · #25 06-10-2012, 06:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LonelyConfused

So I have been corresponding with an inmate who I was friends with before he started his time. He hardly calls... We talk on the phone once a month...even though he tells me he gets 300 mins a month. He claims he has other calls to make to his kids moms, his mom, and others... Leaving no time for me..he would rather for me to just email him on Corrlinks... Am I being played for a fool?? I love him and want to be with him when he gets home..but I think he is just using me to pass the time.

When a man in prison doesn't want to call you that much, knowing you'd like to talk to him and miss him, in my opinion...walk away. You definitely deserve more than a prison relationship. They are the most difficult to maintain, especially when you feel that he's using you to pass the time. Good luck!