I don't know if I can do this anymore.

[Scotties_Girl21]

I've been raising my sisters 8 year old since she's been incarcerated and to be honest I don't know how much longer I can keep this up.

She spits on my 3 year old, constantly disobeys and refuses to listen to anything. And on top of all this, my father today proceeds to tell her she can do what she wants and totally undermines my authority. IM the one that has to watch her while he works, I'm the ONLY one in my family who stepped up and tried to help him. And then to be treated like this??? He had the nerve to say I treat my child and her differently and pick favorites and told her she could do something I told her she couldn't. I DO NOT treat her ANY differently and for him to do what he did today is a total slap in my face. And when he goes to work guess whose gonna be the one who has to keep her? ME! Unfortunately I'm stuck in his house right now until my bf gets out and we can get on our feet, if not I'd leave right now because I'm beyond furious. This little girl has had a hard life no doubt but she lays in the floor and kicks and screams when she don't get what she wants, I'm 8 months pregnant how the hell am I supposed to pick her ass up and keep dealing with this?! I can't. I've worked so hard! So hard, to help him raise her and I'm the only one who stepped up to do it now in one day he's compmetley undermined every rule I've set. I understand she has a hard life but that is NO excuse for her to behave like she does. I'm to the point where I wanna throw my hands up and say hey, you think I'm doing such a shitty job here do it your damn self!! I don't know what he expects from me, I truley don't. It may make me a bad person, idk but I don't think I can continue watching her 24/7 like I will surley be expected to. I'm contemplating taking my Lil girl and going somewhere, anywhere to get away from this. When my other daughter is born next month how am I supposed to deal with that, my daughter and a spoiled disobedient spiteful child?! I feel like I'm having a damn nervous breakdown right now.

Every day brings me one day closer to you....<3

[Princess1029]

Sounds like she NEEDS some discipline in her life! Spitting is totally disrespectful period! .. then throw kicking & screaming fits at 8 years old..wow.. & your dad doesn't see an issue with all this? I'd be pissed too, I think its OBVIOUS you have enough going on in your own life, to be dealing with a child acting like that. I would honestly try to leave if at all possible..especially considering you have another baby on the way soon, or talk to your dad & try to come up with some rules for the 8 year old together...

I hope it all works out for you though!

[Scotties_Girl21]

Originally Posted by Princess1029

Sounds like she NEEDS some discipline in her life! Spitting is totally disrespectful period! .. then throw kicking & screaming fits at 8 years old..wow.. & your dad doesn't see an issue with all this? I'd be pissed too, I think its OBVIOUS you have enough going on in your own life, to be dealing with a child acting like that. I would honestly try to leave if at all possible..especially considering you have another baby on the way soon, or talk to your dad & try to come up with some rules for the 8 year old together...

I hope it all works out for you though!

Yes she spits, its disgusting to say the least. Then lays in the floor and kicks and screams and expects me to Pick her up at 8 months pregnant. Then any time I try and discipline her he says she's having a hard time without her mom and blows up on me. I can't take it it's driving me insane. I'm smothering in the responsibility of raising her and he doesn't even appreciate it. Thank you, I hope I figure something out.

Every day brings me one day closer to you....<3

[Princess1029]

Originally Posted by Scotties_Girl21

Yes she spits, its disgusting to say the least. Then lays in the floor and kicks and screams and expects me to Pick her up at 8 months pregnant. Then any time I try and discipline her he says she's having a hard time without her mom and blows up on me. I can't take it it's driving me insane. I'm smothering in the responsibility of raising her and he doesn't even appreciate it. Thank you, I hope I figure something out.

Every day brings me one day closer to you....<3

I know this might be a little different..but my parents (now divorcing) have different ways they like to discipline the kids.. my dad is more of a whatever let it go kind of person..where as my mom would like them to KNOW they are doing something wrong.. they are ALWAYS butting heads about it..it's obvious they listen to my dad, how he lets them get away with me..they totally disrespect my mom HORRIBLY. I am sure she is having a hard time, but that doesn't excuse acting that way towards the people who are taking care of her..I know she's a child, but she is old enough to know better. My sister is 13, my brother is 8 right now about to be 9..so I know she knows what she is doing is wrong... When my brother and sister are with me, they DO NOT act that way because they know I won't put up with it.. now when my husband was home he'd tell them "don't listen to her, you can do what you want"...so I see where we'll go with that once we have kids ohhh boy!

[Scotties_Girl21]

Yea that's how my dad is. He totally undermines what I say and the rules I set for her. He will be sorry when I leave and he can't even work because of her behavior. Its to the point I'm looking at women's shelters for me and my daughter to go to if something doesn't give. I can't take this.

Every day brings me one day closer to you....<3

[MRS.GRIFFIN]

WTH!!!!!!!! SORRY TO HEAR THAT....SPITTING/KICKING/SCREAMING.... GIRL I WORK WITH KIDS AND LET ME TELL YOU....NOT EASY. BUT ON A BETTER NOTE TRY THIS,,,WHEN SHE SPITS ON YOUR DAUGHTER MAKE YOUR DAUGHTER SPIT BACK. WHEN SHE HAS THIS SCREAMING EPISODE, H3LL YOU SCREAM TOO!!!!!!! I KNOW YOU CANT GET ON THE FLOOR AND WILD OUT LIKE SHE DOES, BUT EVERYTHING SHE DOES YOU DO IT TOO,,,,, SOMETIME KIDS ACT OUT FOR ATTENTION. BUT WHEN WE DO IT, THEY LOOKING LIKE WHY IS SHE ON THE FLOOR/KICKING AND SCREAMING.TRY THIS AND LET ME KNOW HOW IT GOES. HOPES THIS HELPS YOU. I KNOW LONGER HAVE THIS PROBLEM WITH MY KIDS IN CLASS. IM SENDING PRAYERS YOUR WAY FOR PEACE(you may have peace and quiet),LOVE(that you love your niece as your own) AND STRENGTH(to handle your niece).

[Princess1029]

Originally Posted by MRS.GRIFFIN

WTH!!!!!!!! SORRY TO HEAR THAT....SPITTING/KICKING/SCREAMING.... GIRL I WORK WITH KIDS AND LET ME TELL YOU....NOT EASY. BUT ON A BETTER NOTE TRY THIS,,,WHEN SHE SPITS ON YOUR DAUGHTER MAKE YOUR DAUGHTER SPIT BACK. WHEN SHE HAS THIS SCREAMING EPISODE, H3LL YOU SCREAM TOO!!!!!!! I KNOW YOU CANT GET ON THE FLOOR AND WILD OUT LIKE SHE DOES, BUT EVERYTHING SHE DOES YOU DO IT TOO,,,,, SOMETIME KIDS ACT OUT FOR ATTENTION. BUT WHEN WE DO IT, THEY LOOKING LIKE WHY IS SHE ON THE FLOOR/KICKING AND SCREAMING.TRY THIS AND LET ME KNOW HOW IT GOES. HOPES THIS HELPS YOU. I KNOW LONGER HAVE THIS PROBLEM WITH MY KIDS IN CLASS. IM SENDING PRAYERS YOUR WAY FOR PEACE(you may have peace and quiet),LOVE(that you love your niece as your own) AND STRENGTH(to handle your niece).

I've heard of that.. Just doing whatever they do. I always wondered if it worked!

[Scotties_Girl21]

Originally Posted by MRS.GRIFFIN

WTH!!!!!!!! SORRY TO HEAR THAT....SPITTING/KICKING/SCREAMING.... GIRL I WORK WITH KIDS AND LET ME TELL YOU....NOT EASY. BUT ON A BETTER NOTE TRY THIS,,,WHEN SHE SPITS ON YOUR DAUGHTER MAKE YOUR DAUGHTER SPIT BACK. WHEN SHE HAS THIS SCREAMING EPISODE, H3LL YOU SCREAM TOO!!!!!!! I KNOW YOU CANT GET ON THE FLOOR AND WILD OUT LIKE SHE DOES, BUT EVERYTHING SHE DOES YOU DO IT TOO,,,,, SOMETIME KIDS ACT OUT FOR ATTENTION. BUT WHEN WE DO IT, THEY LOOKING LIKE WHY IS SHE ON THE FLOOR/KICKING AND SCREAMING.TRY THIS AND LET ME KNOW HOW IT GOES. HOPES THIS HELPS YOU. I KNOW LONGER HAVE THIS PROBLEM WITH MY KIDS IN CLASS. IM SENDING PRAYERS YOUR WAY FOR PEACE(you may have peace and quiet),LOVE(that you love your niece as your own) AND STRENGTH(to handle your niece).

Thanks for the thoughts and prayers. Ill try it but at this point I'm just tired of trying because no matter what I do my dad ruins the discipline. I'm just looking for a way out, I can't do this all myself with this new baby coming. I think my bf mom can help me with a place to go in the next couple of weeks. Til then ill stick it out, after that I'm gone.

Every day brings me one day closer to you....<3

[nimuay]

She's in school, right? Talk to her counselor and see what help might be available from the school. Check community services too, and see if they have programs for after-school or respite care or anything else.

Other people's children are tough, and with your dad crossing you, you need an outside authority to be able to call on.

[Scotties_Girl21]

Originally Posted by nimuay

She's in school, right? Talk to her counselor and see what help might be available from the school. Check community services too, and see if they have programs for after-school or respite care or anything else.

Other people's children are tough, and with your dad crossing you, you need an outside authority to be able to call on.

She's out for summer break. And an outside authority would be great but I don't know how I'd be able to go about getting that.

Every day brings me one day closer to you....<3

[MRS.GRIFFIN]

It works....20 years of experience

[AnarchyHeart]

I respect what you are doing! I know it's not easy. We can't let them keep actin like that. here where I am there are summer programs called open gym using local schools and employees like an all day camp thing. But really cheap! Can a family member help with the fee? Here it is like 75 for 3 weeks. !! Just to get a break? You definitely need one! Check the local city website for any programs.

[Scotties_Girl21]

Originally Posted by AnarchyHeart

I respect what you are doing! I know it's not easy. We can't let them keep actin like that. here where I am there are summer programs called open gym using local schools and employees like an all day camp thing. But really cheap! Can a family member help with the fee? Here it is like 75 for 3 weeks. !! Just to get a break? You definitely need one! Check the local city website for any programs.

Thanks for the idea, ill look into it for sure.

Every day brings me one day closer to you....<3

[InmateLover67]

Originally Posted by Scotties_Girl21

I've been raising my sisters 8 year old since she's been incarcerated and to be honest I don't know how much longer I can keep this up.

She spits on my 3 year old, constantly disobeys and refuses to listen to anything. And on top of all this, my father today proceeds to tell her she can do what she wants and totally undermines my authority. IM the one that has to watch her while he works, I'm the ONLY one in my family who stepped up and tried to help him. And then to be treated like this??? He had the nerve to say I treat my child and her differently and pick favorites and told her she could do something I told her she couldn't. I DO NOT treat her ANY differently and for him to do what he did today is a total slap in my face. And when he goes to work guess whose gonna be the one who has to keep her? ME! Unfortunately I'm stuck in his house right now until my bf gets out and we can get on our feet, if not I'd leave right now because I'm beyond furious. This little girl has had a hard life no doubt but she lays in the floor and kicks and screams when she don't get what she wants, I'm 8 months pregnant how the hell am I supposed to pick her ass up and keep dealing with this?! I can't. I've worked so hard! So hard, to help him raise her and I'm the only one who stepped up to do it now in one day he's compmetley undermined every rule I've set. I understand she has a hard life but that is NO excuse for her to behave like she does. I'm to the point where I wanna throw my hands up and say hey, you think I'm doing such a shitty job here do it your damn self!! I don't know what he expects from me, I truley don't. It may make me a bad person, idk but I don't think I can continue watching her 24/7 like I will surley be expected to. I'm contemplating taking my Lil girl and going somewhere, anywhere to get away from this. When my other daughter is born next month how am I supposed to deal with that, my daughter and a spoiled disobedient spiteful child?! I feel like I'm having a damn nervous breakdown right now.

Every day brings me one day closer to you....<3

It is never easy raising some elses child and it makes it more difficult when they act like your niece does.

May I suggest that you have a sit-down heart-to-heart talk with your Father and share with him how you are feeling and that when your new child arrives, you do not want to have to worry about watching your neice at the same time. Maybe he can find someone else to watch her during the day?

Next, is there a way you could get some assistance to get out of there? You do not have access to welffare? I know you are prouder than that, but if you could pull something off with assistance, you could at least get a place for the time being, until your b/f gets out.

I am sorry you are having to deal with all of this when you are close to giving birth. I hope you can sit down with you Father and talk things out.

Peace~

[Scotties_Girl21]

Originally Posted by InmateLover67

It is never easy raising some elses child and it makes it more difficult when they act like your niece does.

May I suggest that you have a sit-down heart-to-heart talk with your Father and share with him how you are feeling and that when your new child arrives, you do not want to have to worry about watching your neice at the same time. Maybe he can find someone else to watch her during the day?

Next, is there a way you could get some assistance to get out of there? You do not have access to welffare? I know you are prouder than that, but if you could pull something off with assistance, you could at least get a place for the time being, until your b/f gets out.

I am sorry you are having to deal with all of this when you are close to giving birth. I hope you can sit down with you Father and talk things out.

Peace~

I've tried to sit down and talk with him and explain he's making my life miserable because she's refusing to listen. He blows up on me and says "I'm not working all the damn time and coming home to deal with this" literally screaming at me. I can't discipline her at all when he's around because he baby's her. I've tried to apply for public housing but the waiting list is like 6 months long. My bf mom I think would help me because she's been talking about helping us get our own place but she's got a lot going on too so I don't want to burden her. The inky option I have would be a place called help mate that provides emergency shelter for women and children in my area. When this new baby gets here there's NO way I can deal with this all. Its just not possible so I'm going to have to figure something out quick. And if I go to help mate I'm scared they will declare me an unfit parent and take my kids...idk it's such a huge mess

Every day brings me one day closer to you....<3

[AmberLeigh]

Does your niece have insurance/medicaid? Call your local pediatrics clinic they can help you get a referral and get her in counseling. You said she has had a hard life, they can help her and you with her behavior. I went through this with my sister helping my mom (she is 15 yrs younger than me) and they had a lot of resources to help. Also when you have your baby tell your dad you can't handle 3 kids and she needs to go to daycare, if he has custody he should be able to get vouchers if you can't afford it and he is working. Also call the boys and girls club if you have one in your area they have a lot to offer where I live.

Good luck and I wish you the best!

[Scotties_Girl21]

Originally Posted by AmberLeigh

Does your niece have insurance/medicaid? Call your local pediatrics clinic they can help you get a referral and get her in counseling. You said she has had a hard life, they can help her and you with her behavior. I went through this with my sister helping my mom (she is 15 yrs younger than me) and they had a lot of resources to help. Also when you have your baby tell your dad you can't handle 3 kids and she needs to go to daycare, if he has custody he should be able to get vouchers if you can't afford it and he is working. Also call the boys and girls club if you have one in your area they have a lot to offer where I live.

Good luck and I wish you the best!

Yes she has Medicaid. Thanks for the ideas I'll def look into them.

Every day brings me one day closer to you....<3

[AnarchyHeart]

Apply for what you think you need to. 6 months may be less and that way if you need it in 6 months you have that option. Find anything that might help you without messing you up and apply. Sometimes they give you a timeframe that is worst case scenario. It will give you some options and sometimes by talking to people give you other information to help.

[Scotties_Girl21]

Originally Posted by AnarchyHeart

Apply for what you think you need to. 6 months may be less and that way if you need it in 6 months you have that option. Find anything that might help you without messing you up and apply. Sometimes they give you a timeframe that is worst case scenario. It will give you some options and sometimes by talking to people give you other information to help.

I'm on the list I signed up about 3 months ago and they haven't even sent me anything in the mail yet or anything. They said worst case scenario 6 months. But by that time my bf will be out and we will have a place but I am on the list.

Every day brings me one day closer to you....<3

[bbw81]

I have dealt with this with my own kids when their dad went in its been two years now sounds like she us angry and my kids where to I took them to counseling which did help a lot to them it was like a death bc they don't get to see him bc its so far away from us and I gotta keep a roof over our head n food in our bellies so I can't afford to go so far with 3 kids but I would suggest counseling it helped my boys and hopefully it will help her good luck girl

[GuerosMama]

Originally Posted by nimuay

She's in school, right? Talk to her counselor and see what help might be available from the school. Check community services too, and see if they have programs for after-school or respite care or anything else.

Other people's children are tough, and with your dad crossing you, you need an outside authority to be able to call on.

I totally agree. I think its beyond bad behavior and its her crying out after all the stuff that's happened with her mom. I think she needs counseling... I think without it, the bad behaviors won't stop but will just morph into other behaviors