Notice to new members intending to register - from January 9th 2012

m.a.n.'s · #1 06-20-2012, 12:24 PM

Sooooo... My (former) best friend who is serving 4 1/2 years and I are going our separate ways. Or at least I am.
He had really deep feelings for me but I always made it clear to him that I only wanted a friendship with him. He introduced me to my MWI mate and after I informed him of the growth between him and I, he has not written me. He always expressed his disapproval of me being with my love...reasons clearly not going beyond jealousy. I know that he didn't have any writeouts so I had continued writing him... Just to let him know that I was still here, ya know ? Now it's been almost TWO months without him writing me! I know him..& he would've found a way to get at least ONE letter to me. I'm not upset...my focus is on me and my love. I do feel kind of bad because I was all he had, and I don't want him to feel like I'm leaving him like everyone else did. But I mean it takes 2 to tango, right?? I told him a while ago that I'd be by his side for as long as he wanted me there. Am I wrong to assume that his refusal to write is him saying he no longer wants me by his side? I'm contemplating sending this goodbye letter...I know my pto fam will help me out!!

Jootje · #2 06-20-2012, 01:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by m.a.n.'s

Sooooo... My (former) best friend who is serving 4 1/2 years and I are going our separate ways. Or at least I am.
He had really deep feelings for me but I always made it clear to him that I only wanted a friendship with him. He introduced me to my MWI mate and after I informed him of the growth between him and I, he has not written me. He always expressed his disapproval of me being with my love...reasons clearly not going beyond jealousy. I know that he didn't have any writeouts so I had continued writing him... Just to let him know that I was still here, ya know ? Now it's been almost TWO months without him writing me! I know him..& he would've found a way to get at least ONE letter to me. I'm not upset...my focus is on me and my love. I do feel kind of bad because I was all he had, and I don't want him to feel like I'm leaving him like everyone else did. But I mean it takes 2 to tango, right?? I told him a while ago that I'd be by his side for as long as he wanted me there. Am I wrong to assume that his refusal to write is him saying he no longer wants me by his side? I'm contemplating sending this goodbye letter...I know my pto fam will help me out!!

Well obviously he does not want you there (at his side) anymore or he would have written you. And if I were you I would not feel bad because this is a choice he made, even though you made it clear to him that you would be by his side as a friend so he is the one that left, not you.

Sure you can write him a letter (or a nice card) and tell him you are sorry you have not heard from him anymore and that you wish him the best.

m.a.n.'s · #3 06-20-2012, 01:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jootje

Well obviously he does not want you there (at his side) anymore or he would have written you. And if I were you I would not feel bad because this is a choice he made, even though you made it clear to him that you would be by his side as a friend so he is the one that left, not you.

Sure you can write him a letter (or a nice card) and tell him you are sorry you have not heard from him anymore and that you wish him the best.

Thank you! I feel exactly what you are saying as far as HIM being the one that left! Just needed another opinion. Thank you again

Mrs.taylor2011 · #4 06-20-2012, 01:33 PM

he might be hurt and jealous that you found yourself a bf..i say write him just to let him know you are still his friend ,but he needs to get over you having a bf..

m.a.n.'s · #5 06-20-2012, 01:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mrs.taylor2011

he might be hurt and jealous that you found yourself a bf..i say write him just to let him know you are still his friend ,but he needs to get over you having a bf..

Right! I agree. I'm going to send the letter next week. Thanks

InmateLover67 · #6 06-20-2012, 02:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by m.a.n.'s

Sooooo... My (former) best friend who is serving 4 1/2 years and I are going our separate ways. Or at least I am.
He had really deep feelings for me but I always made it clear to him that I only wanted a friendship with him. He introduced me to my MWI mate and after I informed him of the growth between him and I, he has not written me. He always expressed his disapproval of me being with my love...reasons clearly not going beyond jealousy. I know that he didn't have any writeouts so I had continued writing him... Just to let him know that I was still here, ya know ? Now it's been almost TWO months without him writing me! I know him..& he would've found a way to get at least ONE letter to me. I'm not upset...my focus is on me and my love. I do feel kind of bad because I was all he had, and I don't want him to feel like I'm leaving him like everyone else did. But I mean it takes 2 to tango, right?? I told him a while ago that I'd be by his side for as long as he wanted me there. Am I wrong to assume that his refusal to write is him saying he no longer wants me by his side? I'm contemplating sending this goodbye letter...I know my pto fam will help me out!!

Maybe he is hurt and needing to digest that you and your MWI are falling for one another? Or, maybe he is done with you, who knows? Even though you told him straight up that you only wanted to be friends, he may have had more feelings for you then he lead on.

He will not die without you in his life...he will find others to converse with. I suggest you focus on you and your man and not worry about the friend. Obviously, he was not a true friend, or he would be happy for you, but that does not seem to be the case here, so keep on keeping on.

Peace~

m.a.n.'s · #7 06-20-2012, 03:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by InmateLover67

Maybe he is hurt and needing to digest that you and your MWI are falling for one another? Or, maybe he is done with you, who knows? Even though you told him straight up that you only wanted to be friends, he may have had more feelings for you then he lead on.

He will not die without you in his life...he will find others to converse with. I suggest you focus on you and your man and not worry about the friend. Obviously, he was not a true friend, or he would be happy for you, but that does not seem to be the case here, so keep on keeping on.

Peace~

Thank you for your kind words of encouragement - as ALWAYS

- you're right, he will live! I know he's strong and he'll be alright. I kept my promise and as of now he's failed in his end of the friendship. I hate to think I've hurt him but I know I was completely honest all along. And right now, as you suggested, my focus is on my relationship with my love. Thanks again

**shaunna** · #8 06-20-2012, 04:29 PM

It is a painful/unpleasant experience to see someone you love fall for someone else so he may just need some time and space?

Just let him know you are there for him, however it gets to a certain point where friendships are meant to be a two way street and if it gets to any longer maby just say something along the lines of whenever he feels as if he wants to talk to you again he knows how to get in touch? You shouldnt have to chase after someone just to be their friend

Hopefully he gets over it and if not it's his loss as it sounds as if he will loose a good friend if he does

m.a.n.'s · #9 06-20-2012, 04:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shaunna

It is a painful/unpleasant experience to see someone you love fall for someone else so he may just need some time and space?

Just let him know you are there for him, however it gets to a certain point where friendships are meant to be a two way street and if it gets to any longer maby just say something along the lines of whenever he feels as if he wants to talk to you again he knows how to get in touch? You shouldnt have to chase after someone just to be their friend

Hopefully he gets over it and if not it's his loss as it sounds as if he will loose a good friend if he does

Thank you for your kind response. Yea I understand the hurt that he might be experiencing. Especially since he's the one that introduced me and my love. He knows my heart and that when it all comes down to it he'll always have a friend in me. But I also think I deserve the reciprocated friendship. I just hope he doesn't have any hard feelings toward me. But if it's time he wants then he definitely will have it. :/

ahora2012 · #10 06-20-2012, 06:02 PM

maybe he is writing someone else - maybe he is trying to get over you - you should just let him be - if he wanted to write he would and if youre involved with someone else then you shouldnt be writing someone who has expressed romatic feelings toward you.

FastCarGirl · #11 06-22-2012, 05:58 AM

I wouldn't necessarily say "goodbye"...after all, you were both just friends, even if he wanted more. He knows your address, he can write you if he wants to, and maybe after he's done nursing his wounded pride he'll write you again. But don't feel bad about it...you did your part, and you were honest with him from the get-go.