Notice to new members intending to register - from January 9th 2012

Eileen_Meeks · #1 06-29-2012, 02:08 AM

No, I'm not in a movie theater. I'm sitting at my desk consuming tonights dinner of Blue Moon beer and Act II buttered popcorn and as a kernel falls into my cleavage and I dig it out I realize just how boring my life is with out my LO.

I don't have friends, I don't have family (unless you count my 15 year old daughter who is on house arrest). Since my husband self surrendered I've been out on the town a total of... wait for it.... zero times!

I live in Las Vegas. Sin City. City of lights, strippers, clubs, casinos, food, and 24 hour entertainment. And; I hate it. The only reason I"m here is for work. Although, I was lucky enough to witness a half naked, very fit, co-worker today. Only because he was a character in a themed wedding, but he's gay so it only half counts.

So as I sit here enjoying my very healthy dietary dinner, not; I realize I really haven't enjoyed a good meal, a good movie, or good company. My best days consist of an ocean view, sharing coffee from a vending machine, sitting across from my husband, looking out windows with bars and barb wire and watching the cargo ships come in.

Another kernal falls in my cleavage. My beer is getting low. I wouldn't have it any other way.

I won't enjoy another meal until he is there to share it with me. My beer won't be quite as cold and tasty unless he's in the chair next to me. The stars won't shine unless he's holding my hand. The colors won't be as vivid until his smile brightens my day and my house is not a home until he's there to fill it with his voice, laughter, and love.

HisLatinQueen · #2 04-17-2013, 01:08 PM

Definetly true about the way you think. It is just not the same without our loved ones here! I hope things have gotten better for you!

**nevaeh2morrow** · #3 04-17-2013, 01:32 PM

I hear you.... although beer and popcorn don't sound good together. Popcorn and soda sounds better. Or even Beer and chicken wings! LOL

nimuay · #4 04-17-2013, 02:18 PM

Hon, even though I understand how you feel, you need to change it. You can't live so long with your emotions numb, missing so much. You need to find out how good your life is, even without him, or you'll wear out.

**InsomniaCT** · #5 04-17-2013, 02:36 PM

While I know that things are better with him, I still try to find joy wherever it may exist. By finding these experiences, I share them with him and we can both continue to smile. My taking this journey with him doesn't mean I have to impose a sentence on my emotions...and I fight the urge. If you find that life really is just flat...that Crayola really just has 2 colors in your box...it might be time to see your doctor to talk about depression. It doesn't sound like that's where YOU are, but someone else may be there--and there are ways to make things better.

Do something you enjoy. Give yourself a gift of a night out...or a mani/pedi...time spent with a good book & a bubble bath...something that cheers you. Think about something you really want to do, get excited about doing it & sharing it with him. Better days are coming...

HarlemsHart · #6 04-17-2013, 02:38 PM

^^^ I agree! Go enjoy a movie, or even some take out & bring it home. Shoo..go to the penny slots and get your share of free drinks! I think that your husband would want you to enjoy your life as well. Don't look at it w/ out him look at it for him...you can create memories in your life to share w/ him to brighten his day. It will make the time go by faster.

Roluvsreik3 · #7 04-17-2013, 03:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eileen_Meeks

No, I'm not in a movie theater. I'm sitting at my desk consuming tonights dinner of Blue Moon beer and Act II buttered popcorn and as a kernel falls into my cleavage and I dig it out I realize just how boring my life is with out my LO.

I don't have friends, I don't have family (unless you count my 15 year old daughter who is on house arrest). Since my husband self surrendered I've been out on the town a total of... wait for it.... zero times!

I live in Las Vegas. Sin City. City of lights, strippers, clubs, casinos, food, and 24 hour entertainment. And; I hate it. The only reason I"m here is for work. Although, I was lucky enough to witness a half naked, very fit, co-worker today. Only because he was a character in a themed wedding, but he's gay so it only half counts.

So as I sit here enjoying my very healthy dietary dinner, not; I realize I really haven't enjoyed a good meal, a good movie, or good company. My best days consist of an ocean view, sharing coffee from a vending machine, sitting across from my husband, looking out windows with bars and barb wire and watching the cargo ships come in.

Another kernal falls in my cleavage. My beer is getting low. I wouldn't have it any other way.

I won't enjoy another meal until he is there to share it with me. My beer won't be quite as cold and tasty unless he's in the chair next to me. The stars won't shine unless he's holding my hand. The colors won't be as vivid until his smile brightens my day and my house is not a home until he's there to fill it with his voice, laughter, and love.

I can definitely relate, things just aren't the same without my baby beside me.

hirochihachi · #8 04-17-2013, 06:57 PM

Crystal clear understanding. Life isn't the same, I'm not the same. It's improved since we've gotten his sentence and the unknown no longer hangs over our heads, but things won't be 'normal' until he returns to us again. Wake up, work, survive, do my damndest to come up with the energy and motivation to show my son how much I love him too, and then sleep (kinda)...wake up and do it all over again.

hismess · #9 04-17-2013, 07:34 PM

I can relate. But I refuse to lock myself up during this ride. I want him home and to be doing what we are doing, he wants to be here. But he can't. So I take a ton of pictures of what's going on and send then to him with a full detailed letter. He says it helps him feel as though he is here with us.
Everyday is a struggle. But I do it. He knows I'm a very strong woman and that's one thing he loves and admires about me. Even though he hates being locked up and putting me and our kids through this, he knows I'm strong enough to handle it. I have my days where I feel like I can't handle it, but we talk about those days and he helps me get through them. I do go out and I do have a life, yes a limited life it seems, but still a life to live, regardless of where he's at. I try to enjoy everything I do, cuz then I can share it with him the best way we can.

InmateLover67 · #10 04-17-2013, 08:48 PM

I see what you are getting at, things are simply not the same without him there, however, you can and should still have a life.

You don't have any girlfriends you can hang with? I suggest you start going and doing things, or this bid will drag on forever.

Peace~

~*mike's girl*~ · #11 04-17-2013, 10:01 PM

Yes everything does not seem the same without our LOs

but sweetheart get off the couch and go to a real movie, go out for

with a co-worker, go play some slots. I mean you live in Las Vegas. A town that does not sleep. Live a little and be

You need to get up and enjoy your life. I'm not saying it's easy to have a LO in prison but you shouldn't be sentencing yourself too. Because if you sentence yourself, this bid is going to feel like eternity.