Should I keep sending him long letters?!

[Heavenlyyy]

I wrote him a 4page letter and his response letter that i waited all week for is only one page worth. Wtf?! I read that men that are locked up dont want to write about their life because its "boring" or they cant spell well so its embarrassing. But it kind of makes me not want to write him another long letter... but then again, i want to give him something long to read so he willhave something to do... you know? Pls, i need advice from you ladies. What's yalls experience

[juss me6]

It doesn't matter how long his letters are to me. I write him whatevers on my mind. However long that may be. Who cares if you write him a 4 page letter and his response is only one? Atleast you got something. I have wrote 20 page letters to get a page response. it doesn't really matter. They are bored out of their mind. They like to read our letters.

[LisasTX]

I write long letters, but I dont expect long letters back. But my LO does write me long letters, just doesnt send as many as I do.
Do what you want to do and dont expect too much of him. If you want him to write more you can kinda ask him to, and if he doesnt, dont take it so personal.
A while back I was writing somebody who was in basic training for the army and he would write me back a paragraph.. So I know the feeling, he wasnt THAT important to me though so I stopped writing cause it didnt seem like he wanted to talk, yet he called and asked if I had been getting his letters.

[Klewis]

When my Fiance' calls tonight I am going to tell him I knew I wasn't the only one. My Fiance' and I almost broke up over this. I would write him long letters and then wait anxiously just to get some short ass crap that didn't even address everything I wrote. My Fiance' explained to me how uncomfortable it is to be trying to write long letters while sitting on a cement floor hunched over. It could also be that your man does not have a night light so he only have a matter of time to write you. In my experience its not worth your relationship. Men and women I guess write differently. Women seem to go line to line responding on stuff rather its a question or not. Men they just want to focus on the big picture. Just recently the only thing that made my Fiance' understand what I was saying is I started doing him just like he did me. He would write and I would write him back something real short and straight to the point. If he asked me something that I knew he wanted me to respond to I wouldn't. He one of his letters he had the nerve to tell me he wish it was longer because he really need to feel my love right now. Then in the other letters he can't telling me I never responded to his question. Finally after a week of doing this I wrote him and asked him how did it feel. He said he understands now and that it did not feel good. So we will see how it goes for now.

[Loubabygirl]

I write long letters to my love all the time. And I know I ramble and ramble and ramble. He probably laughs when he opens my envelops. And I expect long letters back but it doesn't happen. Lou is very intelligent and grammar and spelling are better then mine! (I'm embarrassed for being in college and he didn't graduate high school) but they just don't have much to say! Their days are all about a routine, day in and day out. It doesn't mean they don't have anything to say but they rely on our letters to respond to us. I hear this all the time from him when I tell him I got such a short letter lol. Keep writing! And you just have to understand their views with it all. Now that we have calls letters have been minimal and I'd Sooo rather calls

[ilovecoffee]

I write fairly long letters and I told him that I like when he writes me long letters. He tried his best to write long ones. I just dont shut up so its easy for me to rant and ramble about nothing lol. I would tell him if long letters from him will make you happy then he should try to do just that! Like the saying says a happy wife is a happy life! Also works on gf's just not wives.

[Heavenlyyy]

Originally Posted by Klewis

When my Fiance' calls tonight I am going to tell him I knew I wasn't the only one. My Fiance' and I almost broke up over this. I would write him long letters and then wait anxiously just to get some short ass crap that didn't even address everything I wrote. My Fiance' explained to me how uncomfortable it is to be trying to write long letters while sitting on a cement floor hunched over. It could also be that your man does not have a night light so he only have a matter of time to write you. In my experience its not worth your relationship. Men and women I guess write differently. Women seem to go line to line responding on stuff rather its a question or not. Men they just want to focus on the big picture. Just recently the only thing that made my Fiance' understand what I was saying is I started doing him just like he did me. He would write and I would write him back something real short and straight to the point. If he asked me something that I knew he wanted me to respond to I wouldn't. He one of his letters he had the nerve to tell me he wish it was longer because he really need to feel my love right now. Then in the other letters he can't telling me I never responded to his question. Finally after a week of doing this I wrote him and asked him how did it feel. He said he understands now and that it did not feel good. So we will see how it goes for now.

Exactly! I asked him questions that he did not answer(nothing that important) and told him what i did that day (involving MY son going to the drs) he did not even acknowledg that stuff.. but he did write how much he stares at my pictures. Smh, also like u said, women and men are very different when it comes to everything. We want to. Maybe ask ur hubby why is it that they don't response more deeply and what not.

[Heavenlyyy]

Originally Posted by Loubabygirl

I write long letters to my love all the time. And I know I ramble and ramble and ramble. He probably laughs when he opens my envelops. And I expect long letters back but it doesn't happen. Lou is very intelligent and grammar and spelling are better then mine! (I'm embarrassed for being in college and he didn't graduate high school) but they just don't have much to say! Their days are all about a routine, day in and day out. It doesn't mean they don't have anything to say but they rely on our letters to respond to us. I hear this all the time from him when I tell him I got such a short letter lol. Keep writing! And you just have to understand their views with it all. Now that we have calls letters have been minimal and I'd Sooo rather calls

Yess, i try to keep that in mind when i write him, that his life is so crazy, boring, unpredictable, & so predictable all at the same time. I'll keep writing the way i do, and not expect anything too long from him.. "/ I'll def keep posted. I BET PHONE CALLS ARE AMAZING. CONGRATS

[ahora2012]

personally - length of letters is not a deal breaker for me - its very trivial. i think there is a bigger issue with a relationship if the length of a letter can cause a break up, or make you upset.

[CenTexLyn]

Some of them, no matter whether they were male or female, simply do not get mushy due to the fact that they don't want their innermost thoughts being discussed by unit personnel. Remember that everything sent to family members and other non-special entities is subject to being read, incoming AND outgoing...the only thing sent out sealed and uninspected is going to be legal/special/media classifications of correspondence...

[samazing]

Yes, you should! I write long letters full of questions and receive shorter ones with 1/3 of my questions answered. Like last week- I wrote everyday (2-3 pages) for a week full of questions about him in reception. He responds with 4 pages total with "btw, prison is insane". That's all I got. So I know how you feel... Lol. I know from him that sometimes they don't have peace and quiet often enough to write (my LO stayed up at night to write to me) or want to keep the negativity at a minimum, so they don't speak of how truly horrible prison is.

[InmateLover67]

Originally Posted by Heavenlyyy

I wrote him a 4page letter and his response letter that i waited all week for is only one page worth. Wtf?! I read that men that are locked up dont want to write about their life because its "boring" or they cant spell well so its embarrassing. But it kind of makes me not want to write him another long letter... but then again, i want to give him something long to read so he willhave something to do... you know? Pls, i need advice from you ladies. What's yalls experience

They LOVE getting letters whether they are one-page or 10-pages. If you are writing from your heart, then I am sure he appreciates them.

I am sorry but I do not write letters to my fiance having expectations of how long his responses should be to me. It sounds like you are expecting him to write lengthy ones like yours? Maybe you should be greatful he even responds?

I say relax and if you want to stop writing long ones then do so...but don't have expectations on how long his should be. That should not be what writing letters is about.

Peace~

[Heavenlyyy]

Originally Posted by InmateLover67

They LOVE getting letters whether they are one-page or 10-pages. If you are writing from your heart, then I am sure he appreciates them.

I am sorry but I do not write letters to my fiance having expectations of how long his responses should be to me. It sounds like you are expecting him to write lengthy ones like yours? Maybe you should be greatful he even responds?

I say relax and if you want to stop writing long ones then do so...but don't have expectations on how long his should be. That should not be what writing letters is about.

Peace~

While i waited for his letter i was not even thinking about the lengeth it was when i read it and realized he hsd not answered my many questions or even acknowledged that i wrote about my day to day duties with MY son..

[juss me6]

My fiance never answers my questions. He does write me about how he feels and how his day was. Do u talk on the phone? Ask him there. Its honestly not something to get worked up on and stress the relationship. Believe me there is enough stress already without it. Just stop worrying about the little thing. I write my man everyday and still would even if he never wrote me back. That's not what its about. Its about being there for the person you love no matter what. Maybe you should look at it that way.

[Heavenlyyy]

I just wrote him a 2 page letter back. And i didn't bug him about how much he wrote back. I just talked about positive things. Keep him feelin good.

[alabamagirl82]

Originally Posted by LisasTX

I write long letters, but I dont expect long letters back. But my LO does write me long letters, just doesnt send as many as I do.
Do what you want to do and dont expect too much of him. If you want him to write more you can kinda ask him to, and if he doesnt, dont take it so personal.
A while back I was writing somebody who was in basic training for the army and he would write me back a paragraph.. So I know the feeling, he wasnt THAT important to me though so I stopped writing cause it didnt seem like he wanted to talk, yet he called and asked if I had been getting his letters.

About your friend in basic training...it wasn't that he didn't want to talk...they just don't have any free time in basic training. When they aren't training and being yelled at they are doing mindless little jobs like cleaning the bathroom and keeping the dorm clean. After all of that it's usually lights out. I hope you continue writing him and supporting him.

[kevinmom]

I write my lo long letters. Yeah I guess us girls are just more emotional and just think lots of girls have diaries when we were younger and can really express ourselves well. He occasionally writes me long letters but mostly it is just short and sweet and yes I am me and he is him. lol I have heard it alot from others in this situation. Yeah don't take it too personally just be glad he wrote and thats a great blessing no matter how small. Glad to know I am not the only one who feels that way. lol

[alabamagirl82]

Originally Posted by Heavenlyyy

I wrote him a 4page letter and his response letter that i waited all week for is only one page worth. Wtf?! I read that men that are locked up dont want to write about their life because its "boring" or they cant spell well so its embarrassing. But it kind of makes me not want to write him another long letter... but then again, i want to give him something long to read so he willhave something to do... you know? Pls, i need advice from you ladies. What's yalls experience

I write my love two-three times a week EVERY week. I rarely get a letter back. It doesn't make any difference to me whether or not he writes back. It's not about me. It's about him. He is the one who needs the love and encouragement the most. I know he loves me. But he is the one who constantly needs to be reminded that he isn't forgotten. Their world is completely different than ours. Like he told me he isn't use to being around normal people that love him right now. So letters mean everything to them. If they don't write us it's not because they don't love us or don't care. We email on Corrlinks every day so I can deal without letters. But they have a lot on their minds and they constantly have to worry about following the rules and not screwing up. Maybe the day to day stress of his situation makes it difficult for him to concentrate long enough to write you a long letter. And like everyone keeps saying they just don't have a lot going on to write about besides the obvious depressing things. I send five plus page letters each time. He doesn't comment too much on them. It's just because time for emailing/phone is so limited he just forgets. He has so much to keep up with. But trust me, your guy loves your letters and cherishes them. Please don't stop writing to him. It helps him more than you will ever realize. It's probably taking everything he has just to get through each day. Don't make it harder by not communicating with him.

[Sad_Eyes]

It can be disappointing when you write a long letter and the response you get is very short, but I guess I have come to the point where I am just happy to hear from him and to get any additional glimpse into how he is doing in there. My boyfriend and I pretty much have a rhythm down with letters. We try to just acknowledge the key points in each other's letters, and if one of us forgets to answer something important we just ask. We write about whatever we want beyond that and it is definitely not regimented. Writing is my outlet, but it may not be everyone's. Sure I would rather get a juicy 4 page letter instead of a 1 page vague letter, but like I said I feel good to have gotten that letter and often they are shorter for my guy when less intense stuff is going on, so I feel kind of relieved to get those at times. If it is a big point of contention, I would just bring it up with him. I understand the idea of tweaking letters to see how he responds, but I think you can skip that and just talk about it if it bothers you that much! I also do agree that getting letters and reading them is a huge part of their day.

[StayShort]

I read through all of this and I mean this with no disrespect but I laughed. Not at anyone just that I'm so I guess not typical. At first I wrote 8 page letters twice a week (4 pages front and back) maybe bubs would get a 10 pager, maybe 12 if he was really lucky but those were few and far between, oh I think I sent 16 pages once. And now it takes me a good 4-5 days to write 8 pages. I just don't good with letters. Don't get me wrong I write him every day, but it's probably page or so. Him on the other hand writes 14-16 pages twice a week. It's totally opposite!! Maybe he's like me and just isn't a big fan of writing. It's nothing personal. I love my fiance more than anything, just don't like to sit there and write really long letters.

[dixiebelle1973]

I write anywhere from 1 to 14 or more pages. It varies. Seems I ways have a letter going. I feel connected to him when "I'm talking" to him. Ok, seems funny, but it is has I think about it. He writes back in various lengths of pages too. His letters are like gold to me, and he's always said.he liked mine. We didn't live together at first we'd spend hours a day talking in the phone. We've never gotten bored no matter the subject. I know men and women are different, and we view things differently. I guess I've never really thought about the length of the letters. When it.comes to any form of communication we both enjoy it. We are all different really and should try to except those differences. If someone doesn't write much back the idea they took the time to send you a letter says a lot. Just how I look at.it anyway. Communications doesn't come as easy to some.

[LastOneLeft]

With me it's not so much the length of the letter, but the number. When he was here in County we were having visits 3 days a week, talking on the phone every day and I was getting 3-4 letters a week. Now he is in State. I haven't seen him in 7 weeks, we can only talk every other day and I got ONE letter last week.. My thing is, letter writing is the only thing he can really do for me. I send him money out of every paycheck but I expect letters in return.

[Sheryl P.]

One thing my man mentioned to me was the heat.It is very,very hot and he is stuck in a tiny cell.When it finally cools down,the light is too low for him to write by and he needs to sleep and recover from the opressive heat he deals with all day.
I know that being in shu,he really needs to wait and respond to what I'm writing most of the time.
I guess we don't understand what it's like to do the same things every single day and see the same walls all the time.
Thank God he is much better at communicating when I can visit.
I just appreciate any effort he makes to write me,even he just says he loves and misses me.

[Heavenlyyy]

Thank all you ladies! I sent my 2/3 page letter off this morning. Meaning the count down begins for when I'll recieve his letter. Should be here in a wk exactly. Ugh. Does anyone know if we can call me if i dont have a land line. He is at roach unit in Childress Tx

[comptontiffany1]

My boyfriend is the same way, I write super long letters and I always get like one pagers back, but I know that I should keep writing long letters because he tells me how much he loves it when there long. I would just ask your man!