Breaking out of the stereotype (Venting)

[MrsJlJohnson]

Hi everyone I have been pondering over an issue that is dear to me yet one I cant grasp on my own...The stereotypes put on us and our loved ones for the charges they have and for us doing what I believe God wants me to do Forgive others, Love unconditionally, and not play god by passing judgment on others..Lets face it we live in a society that does not practice what we preach..If you fall in love with someone you met while they were incarcerated you have low self esteem trying to fill some void of a childhood trauma and just plain stupid the inmate is just using you for money and letters and feeding off your need to be needed..If you start writing someone on DR and you fall in love or support them to the end and treat them as a human and not the animal they were assumed to be you are just as wrong as them and should be convicted with them because you must be saying what the charge is they were convicted of is not wrong and if you try to help someone prove their innocence you must be blind and niave(sp) to believe they didnt do it because everyone says they are innocent..If you Love a SO you must be sick and demented and if its a offense on a child and youre a parent you must not care about the safty of your children..If you are someone who writes the "serial killers" and falls in loves and agrees to marry them you must be a psychopath too and wanting your 5 seconds of fame...Really people is it really so wrong to believe in someone who sometimes cant believe in themselves? is it wrong to see past the ugly in the world and find something good in everyone? Is it so wrong to give someone a ray of hope compassion and consideration in what is the worst times in their lives and in some cases the last few years months or even days? Do we really feel its ok to lock them up and throw away the key and forget they exist and pretend they are not human and do not have feelings too? If that is how we are treating people who are incarcerated then its no wonder they reoffend and go back..They are accepted in there...They are treated as Human beings by other human beings so who are really the barbaric animals the ones who care enough to look past the imperfections and not judge others for who they were but for who they are or are the animals the ones who are so blinded by fear of the unknown by fear of being an outcast or being put in a stereotype that we skip the jury and go straight to being the judge? I know this is how it has been for many many years and its probably not going to change in my lifetime but I wanna break free from my stereotype...so inspired by my Husbands coming out inside where he opened himself up for others judgments so we will do it together I to am going to open myself up to judgment as well and I hope others break free of their stereotypes as well...I am a 30 yr old Loving mother of 4 great children and I am married to and Love a man that is convicted of Sexual Abuse of a minor in the 2nd degree..Yes we met way before this incarceration but it is within this incarceration that I really got to know HIM and MYSELF!!! Sorry just had to vent a minute and have a moment of movement!! wow that feels good

[juss me6]

Originally Posted by MrsJlJohnson

Hi everyone I have been pondering over an issue that is dear to me yet one I cant grasp on my own...The stereotypes put on us and our loved ones for the charges they have and for us doing what I believe God wants me to do Forgive others, Love unconditionally, and not play god by passing judgment on others..Lets face it we live in a society that does not practice what we preach..If you fall in love with someone you met while they were incarcerated you have low self esteem trying to fill some void of a childhood trauma and just plain stupid the inmate is just using you for money and letters and feeding off your need to be needed..If you start writing someone on DR and you fall in love or support them to the end and treat them as a human and not the animal they were assumed to be you are just as wrong as them and should be convicted with them because you must be saying what the charge is they were convicted of is not wrong and if you try to help someone prove their innocence you must be blind and niave(sp) to believe they didnt do it because everyone says they are innocent..If you Love a SO you must be sick and demented and if its a offense on a child and youre a parent you must not care about the safty of your children..If you are someone who writes the "serial killers" and falls in loves and agrees to marry them you must be a psychopath too and wanting your 5 seconds of fame...Really people is it really so wrong to believe in someone who sometimes cant believe in themselves? is it wrong to see past the ugly in the world and find something good in everyone? Is it so wrong to give someone a ray of hope compassion and consideration in what is the worst times in their lives and in some cases the last few years months or even days? Do we really feel its ok to lock them up and throw away the key and forget they exist and pretend they are not human and do not have feelings too? If that is how we are treating people who are incarcerated then its no wonder they reoffend and go back..They are accepted in there...They are treated as Human beings by other human beings so who are really the barbaric animals the ones who care enough to look past the imperfections and not judge others for who they were but for who they are or are the animals the ones who are so blinded by fear of the unknown by fear of being an outcast or being put in a stereotype that we skip the jury and go straight to being the judge? I know this is how it has been for many many years and its probably not going to change in my lifetime but I wanna break free from my stereotype...so inspired by my Husbands coming out inside where he opened himself up for others judgments so we will do it together I to am going to open myself up to judgment as well and I hope others break free of their stereotypes as well...I am a 30 yr old Loving mother of 4 great children and I am married to and Love a man that is convicted of Sexual Abuse of a minor in the 2nd degree..Yes we met way before this incarceration but it is within this incarceration that I really got to know HIM and MYSELF!!! Sorry just had to vent a minute and have a moment of movement!! wow that feels good

I understand where you're coming from I am also dealing with this. My boyfriend is also convicted of a sex offense. Rape in the 3rd. When people hear that the automatically assume the worst. They look at me as how can I still be with him. I explain no one was raped he slept with a girl while we were split up whom he thought was 19 but wasnt( the girl lied). Its a sad sad world we live in. Regardless I love him unconditionally and will be here for him. We are supposed to believe anyone can change well why can't people believe that of our loved ones!

[MrsJlJohnson]

Originally Posted by juss me6

I understand where you're coming from I am also dealing with this. My boyfriend is also convicted of a sex offense. Rape in the 3rd. When people hear that the automatically assume the worst. They look at me as how can I still be with him. I explain no one was raped he slept with a girl while we were split up whom he thought was 19 but wasnt( the girl lied). Its a sad sad world we live in. Regardless I love him unconditionally and will be here for him. We are supposed to believe anyone can change well why can't people believe that of our loved ones!

That is similar to how his charge goes as well..I wish I had the answer to why they feel others cant change but I dont that is what I am hoping to get insight to other than some people being close minded..thank you for sharing your story..How long do you have to go? Mine been gone since march 2011 and hopefully will be home june 2013..

[juss me6]

He's been gone since february 15th 2012 and if he gets his good time will be home april 3rd 2014 then 5 years of post release and 20 years on the so registry.

[Rachel C]

Sending you a million thanks for sharing your story. I can proudly say that I am in love with a convicted killer. NO it's not a behavior I condone but there's circumstances as a whole that society won't look past and yes they are quick to judge. Maybe one day my bf will have a chance to share his story because he has been ridiculed, spit and spat on enough to last several lifetimes.
Wishing you and your bf manypre years of peace and happiness.

[Rachel C]

Originally Posted by Rachel C

Sending you a million thanks for sharing your story. I can proudly say that I am in love with a convicted killer. NO it's not a behavior I condone but there's circumstances as a whole that society won't look past and yes they are quick to judge. Maybe one day my bf will have a chance to share his story because he has been ridiculed, spit and spat on enough to last several lifetimes.
Wishing you and your bf manypre years of peace and happiness.

Sorry had a typo many more years and I meant to say husband and not bf. sorry again.

[boobie1110]

THANK YOU for sayin what ALOT of us want to say to society. All we can do is keep on supporting our LOs and hopefully society will see the good that we see in them.

[Leowoman]

Originally Posted by juss me6

I understand where you're coming from I am also dealing with this. My boyfriend is also convicted of a sex offense. Rape in the 3rd. When people hear that the automatically assume the worst. They look at me as how can I still be with him. I explain no one was raped he slept with a girl while we were split up whom he thought was 19 but wasnt( the girl lied). Its a sad sad world we live in. Regardless I love him unconditionally and will be here for him. We are supposed to believe anyone can change well why can't people believe that of our loved ones!

I think the girl should be the one in prison for lying. My kids are now in their 20s. I tell them to always check IDs!

My husband has two escapes on his record but neither time did he escape from prison. I do agree that the charge doesn't always match what really happened.

[Klewis]

My Fiance' has an aggravated assault charge with a deadly weapon and people think oh my aren't you scared. My answer is no because even though I am a big girl I am not big enough to be 6 people and I don't ever plan on jumping him and trying to kill him so I think I am good. : )

Funny thing is if it was an officer or someone in the legal field protecting themselves or their family they would definitely understand my Fiance's situation. If it was me I would have done the same thing especially since I have children I want to be home with.

[MrsJlJohnson]

Originally Posted by Klewis

My Fiance' has an aggravated assault charge with a deadly weapon and people think oh my aren't you scared. My answer is no because even though I am a big girl I am not big enough to be 6 people and I don't ever plan on jumping him and trying to kill him so I think I am good. : )

Funny thing is if it was an officer or someone in the legal field protecting themselves or their family they would definitely understand my Fiance's situation. If it was me I would have done the same thing especially since I have children I want to be home with.

I am glad that my post has helped so many and you all are very welcome and yes I agree parents who help get ppl SO charges by lying should have some punishment as well..so many times ppl can be innocent of murder or robbery pretty much any crime but a sex offense So many times ppl are so quick to judge and if someone is charged with a sex offense especially when they hear word minor they are automatically guilty no questions asked..well they all soon to forget that 18 yr old boy who got that 15 yrs old girl pregnant and her parents found out and she didnt want to get in trouble and now his life is ruined because he is a registered sex offender for life.. FAIR? no I dont think so but I am just one person and society takes the majority of the vote..

[bl6ckr0s3]

Life is always hard & people r cruel. Everything we account 4 is how others judge u. The whole time it will never matter wat others think, but urself. It's all mental. If u got a strong enuff mind 2 NOT CARE about wat other's feel, then other's negativity should never matter. U do wat u do best & wat makes u happy. That's it.

[RG's girl]

I use to try to explain it to people and get really, really frustrated. Then someone told me that God never intended me to MAKE people understand, that is His job!

[irishcanuk]

I don't know, if there is really any deep philosophical, theological or sociological theory to explain why people chose to see the worst in others. Maybe its just as cut and dry as some people are just cruel, compassionless bastards who take pleasure out of condeming everyone else, lest they have to take a look at themselves and their shallow lives? Just a thought.

[MikesWifey]

Originally Posted by RG's girl

I use to try to explain it to people and get really, really frustrated. Then someone told me that God never intended me to MAKE people understand, that is His job!

^^agreed and that is the same thing I use to do until I decided it was easier to never explain...so I dont anymore...

[MrsJlJohnson]

Originally Posted by MikesWifey

^^agreed and that is the same thing I use to do until I decided it was easier to never explain...so I dont anymore...

Off the topic but just wanted to tell you that I really like your signature with the Smiley faces