Notice to new members intending to register - from January 9th 2012

santiago · #1 07-27-2012, 05:24 PM

Its's been almost a week that my husband has been gone. trying to figure out how this whole system works. is there anyone out there that can tell me how the whole calling, emailing system thing works.

*SimplyMe123* · #2 07-27-2012, 05:35 PM

Hi santiago, welcome to PTO! The "whole system" works differently in every state and region. Where is your husband incarcerated? Is he in the Maryland DOC? I'm sorry you're going through this right now... but you came to the right place for support. We can all relate, and we all know that the first part is the hardest.

KatieM. · #3 07-27-2012, 06:24 PM

Welcome! I know it probably feels incredibly hard right now. I promise it will get easier.

BFAV4EVER · #4 07-27-2012, 08:04 PM

Welcome to PTO and the wonderful world of the Dept of Corrections. Please hold on its going to be a bumpy ride! The best advise I can provide is to check out the MD forums here on PTO if that is where your loved one is.

Each state has its own rules, regulations, fees, calling, emailing ... its hard to answer. My best advise is to call the facility where he is, ask LOTS of questions (its their job to answer them). They should be able to provide you with his address to mail him letters and such. Check out your states DOC website, that should also provide more info. He will also receive a "welcome packet" (handbook) in his facility that will explain the written rules to him.

Bear in mind ... everything will be monitored, your phone calls, emails, letters, even visits. Nothing happens in a timely fashion and often happens backwards. Patience is something you need to have ... or at least be really good at pretending to have! Communication is KEY to getting through this together and stronger. Talk about EVERYTHING, keep him in the loop about what's going on at home, your feelings/concerns.

I'm not going to lie ... it's going to be expensive! You will have days you want to scream and go running for the hills, we all have those days, its perfectly normal. Know you can always come here to vent, and get advise and support, we all get it!

This "adventure" will also show you who your true friends are, sometimes they really do run for the hills and won't get why you are going to stand by him, be strong. You will also learn how to love him more than you ever imagined! You'll learn how to "stalk" your mailman without being creepy, and what joy, you'll get other stuff in the mail than bills and junk! You also need to learn to laugh, cause if you don't you'll go nuts, joke have fun when you speak with him. It'll keep both your spirits up! And don't forget to take time for yourself now and again, sometimes the best thing you can do is clear your head with a little pampering, a long walk or something that makes you happy ... it's VERY important!!!

I don't know what your beliefs are but this journey will also bring your closer to your God, prayer is one of the biggest and best forms of support you can find.

I know my answer was long ... but I hope it helps you in some way shape or form. The folks you will come across here are wonderful people! Feel free to message me anytime ... I'm a good listener.

Best of luck to you and your loved one ... you'll learn the ropes quicker than you think!

ChickfromMD · #5 07-28-2012, 09:28 PM

Depends on where your husband is....most of the places I have experience with did not have an email option. The calling system usually involved him calling from a payphone and you have to accept collect calls. Most places required a calling list, which takes a few days to get situated. If you haven't heard from him yet, you should probably hear from him soon.

In the meantime, you can go online to vinelink.com and find his offender id #. Just select your state, and then click on the tab to search and enter his name. You can use that offender id number and his name/address to write to him, so at least he gets a letter from you if he is not able to call.

Where is he? The classification center usually works a little differently and it takes a little longer to get communication - but they usually aren't there too long. It really all depends on where he is, who he knows, and how many policies he's willing to break.

santiago · #6 07-30-2012, 04:31 PM

I really don't know how to use this site yet, not sure if everyone that replied to my original post can see but if you guys can I truly appreciate the quick response and support. My husband is at the FPC in Duluth, MN it's so hard not being able to go visit him as often as i would like and speak to him as much as I would love to. I find myself in pools of tears constantly, my boys are miserable without him, and I just can't seem to figure anything out we have never been apart for more then a week in the past 15 years that we have been married I don't know how to deal with the pain he's a great man ,father and husband who honestly and truthfully made an honest mistake. but again I appreciate everyones support here thank you.