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nikka · #51 11-10-2007, 09:15 PM

thanks for all the helpful info angie. I cannot turn to family or friends because no one really knows where he is. I think only 2 family members, and 2 friends. i have not told anyone because i dont want to hear the negativity. also, i donot have any TRUE friends. they all want to see me doing bad and want to hear bad things about me. (they dont act like it in front of me but trust me, they are all fake) and of the two friends that do know where he is -- only 1 is supportive of me being faithful... the other friend is trying her hardest to hook me up with some other dude. i been good for 10 mths but i dont know how much longer i can behave.

its funny your husband said the food was good and the guards was nice. my baby said the opposite.(but at the same time he has never been to another facility to compare it to.)

i am glad that you told him while he was in there. it would be a headache to have to deal with that once he gets home. and its a good thing that yall were able to work it out. have you thought about straying again? ?? well i guess technically you dont have to since he is coming home soon.

i am not sure where those facilities are but if they are in south florida than you can come to ur G2G that i am trying to organize.

I love the fact that you are able to express your feelings to him that way. I am constantly holding in my hurt and pain because I donot want to over board him with my anger.

were you angry with your man when he got in trouble? At first I wasnt mad but now i am very angry. Not really angry at him but angry at the situation. angry that i was left alone. angry that he is not here to see me graduate from college. just angry! i have no one to be angry at except him so .. thats what i do.

how much were the calls from sfrc? i have been trying to find out the charges from them today and havent been able to.

eddieswife · #52 11-13-2007, 06:13 PM

Nikka,

Sorry to hear you don't have a lot of emotional support. Well you got one friend you can turn too. Also, try to talk to your guy about how you are feeling. Even if he gets upset, it is always best to talk about it.

Yes, I get tempted to stray again. But I am trying to be strong for myself and my relationship. We talk about what caused me to act like I did -- and we try to get to the bottom of the issue.

My guy and I talk about our problems. I taught him how to be more open and honest and he says it's easier for him to tell me the truth than to tell me a lie. He says lies just tear us a apart and he wants to bring us together. It took my man a long time to get to that point -- but it was worth it for us. We both really want to be together and have our relationship be solid. So it's all about open communication even when the subject matter is not very pleasant.

Girl you need to stop holding in your hurt and pain -- express your feelings to him. So what if it causes him anger. You are in a relationship -- you have the right to share what you are truly feeling with your man and it is his duty to help you get through your pain as best he can. It's a process -- but it really takes two to make a healthy and happy relationship.

I let my man vent. He let's me vent. It's all good because that's how it goes sometimes. Also, sometimes guys need time to think through a problem then they will come back at you with a solution or to tell you that you were right all along.

Yes, I was angry with my husband for having to leave me. I still am upset about it and I tell him that fairly often. It hurts me so bad that he is not here. He knows that. He is hurting too. We both hurt. So we both are not completely happy, not until he comes home and we are together.

It is okay for you to feel angry and dissapointed about your man leaving you. Express that to him. Look, he needs to give YOU emotional support too. You need him to be supportive of your struggles during this difficult time in your life.

Congratulations with school. I wish you the best. When do you graduate?

Girl, I do not even know how much the calls are. I was so excited to talk to my husband, I did not even check.

We live in western Florida, in the Panhandle area.

Angie

nikka · #53 11-13-2007, 08:19 PM

yea angie, girl-- i know that i need to tell him but i just am not very comfortable with that yet. like right now you and your husband are at the point where you can say anythin and you guys can work it out. thats a good place to be. unfortunately i am not at that point yet. i am sure that i will be there soon though. i am just holding everything in and when i get my first visit than i will just pour it out.. tears and all.

i know you are tempted at times! i am all the time but so far i have been a good girl. man-- i could imagine how he would react if i told him. Girl! the pain you must of been through?! the nervousness of losing him! <tsk tsk tsk>.. you are way stronger than me because i think i would of went to my grave with that secret. LOL!-- well at least it made you guys closer and better. that may have been the best thing for your relationship.

I am going to take your advice and start to explain my feelings but not right away. i will mention it a little in my letter to him and than i will express the rest in our first visitation.

thanks for the congrats on school! i graduate march 2008!!!!!!!!!!

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i called CBS and they told me the call was a flat rate of 50 cents plus tax. i am not sure how true that is. i will find out when the bill comes

eddieswife · #54 11-14-2007, 09:29 AM

Hi Nikka,

Don't throw all you feelings on him at one time. You got to hint to him that you are going to start expressing your feelings to him. Prepare him, since y'all ain't in the habit of being open to each other yet.

I would not do it on the first visit -- not completely. On your first visit, just tell him that you have been sad and missing him a lot. Tell him you need his emotional support right now. At that point you probably will get a lot of hugs and sympathy from him -- which is what you need. That will be enough for him at this time. Then gradually get him to start opening up more. It will take time, but if he loves you, he'll want the relationship to be open and honest. Start out slow, work on one subject at a time with him that is bothering you. Don't overload him.

I know me and my guy went through some arguing and I did my share of screaming and crying. Those emotions happen sometimes when a couple is trying to work through serious issues in the relationship. So don't be afraid to cry or scream ( in private, of course ) if you need to -- it's okay. I have to admit, sometimes I lost my temper over the telephone with my guy, he deserved it though!

Nikka, guys don't respect weak women, period. You got to be able to stand up to him sometimes and just let him know what the deal is with you. Guys like that -- believe it or not. And if a guy can't handle who you really are -- he ain't for you any way. Can him fast and move on.

My man accepts who I am. He treats me like his queen -- and I love that. I did not always go for guys like that though. In my past, I went for the abuser type guys -- a woman can't get no where with men like that.

If you need any advice, just ask. I will be happy to give you my take.

Yea, you are right, mention things little by little to him. Give him time to respond. Be patient with him. Girl, it could take his whole incarceration time for you guys to work out your relationship. That's how things can go. But if you both feel it is worth it -- you'll be successful.

Angie

nikka · #55 11-14-2007, 01:47 PM

thanks for those words of encouragement. i am goin to take your advice. did they move him from sfrc yet? i still am waiting to be approved for visitation. i ownder how long it normally takes? anyway way--

i find it great when i see women who is completely satisfied with their man. there are so many women who are upset and hurting thats you and eddies relationship is a breath of fresh air.

even if you guys do end up arguing at least you are open enough to go through the problems and work them out like a good couple should. i am going to mention you to my man when he calls me today. maybe after i explain how yall relationship is than that will give him some ideas on how to act with us.

nikka

eddieswife · #56 11-14-2007, 05:19 PM

My guy is still at SFRC. He is in dorm A. I wonder if he has seen your man. What dorm is your guy in?

Yea, we finally have something good -- it took almost the whole time he was in prison to work out the problems.
I saw on Oprah today, a couple that was together for 27 years. They said no relationship is perfect and they have bad days too. But they have open communication and are constantly working on their relationship -- even after all those years. And they both want it to work. I am learning a lot about relationships, being with my husband has taught me a lot. I can't wait for him to come home.

Angie

nikka · #57 11-14-2007, 08:02 PM

yea. he still there but they moved him to another part because he got permanent at that facility. i am not sure what dorm hes in though. i think its H. Prison brought out alot in alot of couples. and i cant wait for my guy to come home either. i miss him!
when are they going to move him? i know he must be aggravated being moved from facility to facility. that drive from north fl to south florida isnt a short one!

eddieswife · #58 11-14-2007, 08:33 PM

Hi Nikka,

I know you can't wait to get your visitation approved so that you can see your man! I wish I can give my guy a hug.

My man is only at SFRC temporarily, so he's in the transfer dorm. Yea, he has been doing a little traveling lately. He still has more to do before he gets home. He said it took them eight hours to get to SFRC from Taylor. He should be moved in 2-3 weeks.

I wish you the best in your studies. And also, I wish you and your man the best of luck!

Keep me updated!

Angie

nikka · #59 11-16-2007, 07:02 PM

8 hours is a long ass time! gosh! so when he has to pee and they top at rest stops do they stop with them shackled and cuffed? man! thats ahorrible feeing! i hope he gets moved close to you so you can give him that hug.
thanks angie-- and keep me updated on the things that are going on with you

eddieswife · #60 11-18-2007, 11:56 AM

Hi Nikka,

Yea, I hope my guy gets moved close to me so that he does not have to travel too far when he is released.

I can't go see him locked up any more -- it is hard for me to see him that way. He understands that.

Right now we are both looking forward to him coming home.

I talked to him today and he is doing good. We are getting closer and and closer.

Have you talked to your man lately? Has your visitation been approved yet?

Angie

lin787 · #61 12-13-2007, 08:49 AM

who is the warden at sfrc? darnest thing to try and find out! tx

nikka · #62 12-13-2007, 03:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lin263

who is the warden at sfrc? darnest thing to try and find out! tx

John Tate
Warden
South Florida Reception Center
14000 N.W. 41st Street
Doral, Florida 33178

I found the information at the following link. I hope I pasted it properly
http://209.85.207.104/search?q=cache...lnk&cd=3&gl=us

nikka · #63 12-13-2007, 03:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by eddieswife

Hi Nikka,

Yea, I hope my guy gets moved close to me so that he does not have to travel too far when he is released.

I can't go see him locked up any more -- it is hard for me to see him that way. He understands that.

Right now we are both looking forward to him coming home.

I talked to him today and he is doing good. We are getting closer and and closer.

Have you talked to your man lately? Has your visitation been approved yet?

Angie

hey angie! i had lost this thread for a while-- anyway.. i have been approved and i have went and visit him twice. Its ok. you get to sit down together and eat lunch-- its alright. not too bad. the only problem i have with him is that he complains too much. i had to remind him that he is in prison! he says he wants to be transfered to another facility but i am telling him that he is going to be transfered and run into the same stuff-- there are a$$holes everywhere!

anyway-- is eddie still at sfrc? did they decide when they are going to move him? did they decide where yet?

eddieswife · #64 12-27-2007, 07:34 AM

Hi Nikka,

Happy New Year to you!

That is great you have been to see your man. He needs to stop complaining and act more appreciative when he is around you. You have enough to deal with.

My husband is near me now and we talk everyday.

He is due to be released in about 5 months. We are happy about that.

I am just anxiously awaiting his return home -- I need him so much.

I hope all is well with you.

Angie

nikka · #65 12-27-2007, 03:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by eddieswife

Hi Nikka,

Happy New Year to you!

That is great you have been to see your man. He needs to stop complaining and act more appreciative when he is around you. You have enough to deal with.

My husband is near me now and we talk everyday.

He is due to be released in about 5 months. We are happy about that.

I am just anxiously awaiting his return home -- I need him so much.

I hope all is well with you.

Angie

wow! 5 months! that is great! i am very happy for you --- i cant wait until i am in your shoes. hopefully that will be sometime soon.

kcfonelove · #66 02-08-2008, 09:33 AM

Hello Everyone, I My Fiance Was Justed Moved There. Does Anyone Know How The Visitation Works, How I Can Get Form? I Also Want To Know About The Inmate Banking How It Works? I Also Want To Know How Is That Facility? Please If Anyone Can Help I Would Appriciate It. Thank You All!

Kcf.

*ben's girl* · #67 02-09-2008, 11:59 PM

You will not be allowed to visit your fiance' while he is in reception. PM your email address and I will send you the visitation form. Once he gets moved to his permanent facility you can send the form in to be processed.

I am not familiar with SFRC so I can't provide you with any information about it.

In order to send money to him you need to get some deposit slips for Inmate Trust Fund. I don't have their number handy, but it's in a thread about the new automated features. You can call them and they will mail the deposit slips to you. Complete the deposit slip and send it with a cashier check or money order (no personal checks) to the address on the deposit slip. Or you can send it through Western Union or jpay.com.

Hopefully that gives you a little more information than you started out with.

scottysbaby · #68 03-09-2008, 12:42 PM

jpay is the easiest way to send money. he will send you the visitation form which you have to send back. the phone list is a mess unless the phone is in your name. if you need help with that email me (email address removed per PTO policy). is he there permantly or just for evaluation?

Broken2013 · #69 03-11-2008, 08:12 PM

My hyusband too is in this facility. As for what he wrote me he states Jjpay is the fastest way to add funds. also if you add his dorm number aside from his dc he should be able to recieve mail faster. He has yet to call me he has been there one week today. no visits I havent even received a form. go to the site : florida prison inmate search and youll see his pic and all his info including jpay and his dc number so you can write him good luck

InfamousAT · #70 04-12-2008, 03:02 PM

I am so MAD!!

All day i've been looking forward to a letter from my fiance. And we havent talked in over a week. SO when the mailman came the envelope was EMPTY! This is our only communication right now and it just made me so upset. Has this ever happened to anyone else? Also the envelope looked like it was sealed to the inside of it not the outside to hold the letter in. Does the mailroom seal the letters or do our loved ones? Does anyone have the contact info to the SFRC mail room? or do i just call the main number for SFRC? thanks for listenin to me vent, everyday seems like its just gettin worse...

*ben's girl* · #71 04-12-2008, 03:21 PM

I'm sure that has to be very frustrating for you. The mailroom seals all correspondence leaving the institution as it checked just like incoming mail. I'm sure you just call the main number and ask for the mail room. That's what I do when I call Ben's facility. Unfortunately, they probably won't have any answers for you, but they do need to be made aware they need to be more careful.

DollarBillsWife · #72 04-12-2008, 07:39 PM

I think that you should call anyways... and report it.
dont worry he should call u soon if he already sent ur land line # to tallahassee so they can approve it.

it was same for me when my man went there from county jail. he called me in like 9 days that he got there... but yea he did write me. ill pray for u.
xoxo
dollarbillswife

InfamousAT · #73 04-14-2008, 09:30 PM

I know I keep askin a lot of questions but I appreciate everyones help. It's been almost two weeks now since my fiance went to the reception center from the county jail and the intake process seems like its taking forever compared to 2 years ago when he went for the first time(i know 2 weeks isnt really that long but it feels like months to me). I know it's different for everyone but his Release date still says "to be set" and I still havent heard from him on the phone. If I wanted to ask someone questions about those two things, would I contact his classification officer? or would it be someone else?

If anyone has any other input on how things work there at SFRC I would love to know. Thanks for anyone's help.

InfamousAT · #74 04-30-2008, 09:31 AM

I know its been a couple of weeks not but My fiance finally called me after 15 days, he's still at sfrc and its almost been a month maybe he'll be a permanent there. Who knows? but atleast now we get to talk.

SoNotFair · #75 04-30-2008, 08:55 PM

Hey- don't worry. My fiancee very recently (last month lol) went through SFRC. It took him 2 full months, and apparently, it just does sometimes. Nobody would say why, and the best we could speculate is that they had planned on him to go to a certain camp and they were just waiting for space. They shipped him upstate not too long ago, and he's much happier now. I know towards the end I was getting really antsy wanting to see him, but I was patient (like I had a choice), and now everything is good. If there is one thing the DOC is known for, it's not speedy service!