Loosing my mind in NJ

[blnre]

my faincee was sentenced in october for 4 years he was not only my best friend and faince he was my world and life as well eer since we started out as friends when we met we have yet to be apart now i don't recieve calls i sit home and stare at the wall and at work i get so upset cause i am in a office by my self for hours time to think about him usto being there i am seriously loosing my mind i talk to him maybe 1 time since he was away he writes but it's not the same when we talk on the phone the one time in 3 months we did i was speechless i was just so happy to hear his voice i seriously just cry i can't eat i can't sleep i cant do nothing but cry and write i write him 10-20 letters a day everyday have yet to stop or cut back i need help on coping with this family and friends are no good anymore they have all told me to gt over it and move on

[KDigger]

You've come to a good place. Sorry this is so tough, but we're all going through differing levels of lonliness and heartbreak. We DO understand what you are going through, feel free to lean on us for support.

Originally Posted by blnre

my faincee was sentenced in october for 4 years he was not only my best friend and faince he was my world and life as well eer since we started out as friends when we met we have yet to be apart now i don't recieve calls i sit home and stare at the wall and at work i get so upset cause i am in a office by my self for hours time to think about him usto being there i am seriously loosing my mind i talk to him maybe 1 time since he was away he writes but it's not the same when we talk on the phone the one time in 3 months we did i was speechless i was just so happy to hear his voice i seriously just cry i can't eat i can't sleep i cant do nothing but cry and write i write him 10-20 letters a day everyday have yet to stop or cut back i need help on coping with this family and friends are no good anymore they have all told me to gt over it and move on

[rottn]

Welcome to PTO. Everyone goes through what you are in one form or another, we're here for you.

[Retired-18]

Hi and welcome to PTO. We have all been there and I won't tell you it gets easier but you do learn to live with it and somehow even start to have hope for the future. I know it is really hard right now but this won't be forever. We are here if you need us.

[laydee_vet]

Being separated is extra rough at first, then you get used to partially filling the hole he left with visits, letters and phone calls. Being lonely and depressed is normal. Try to be cheerful when you visit, write or talk on the phone. He'll feel that much worse if you aren't.

Yvette

[1dayatatime]

Welcome to PTO. I have been in your exact spot---and return there often. He has been gone for a yr and I dont get to visit often because of the distance. Keep writing the letters and visit when you can. Hopefully he can call you some. I have been advised to get a hobby, volunteer or do something positive to occupy your time. If you think your are in need see a doctor for medication. It helps a little.

We are glad to have you. You will find a support system here.

ONE

[MrsPhil]

Welcome to PTO. You will find a lot of support here. Sounds like you are having a rough time. But keep writing those letters. It will help both of you. He needss you to be strong for both of you. I, too, am in NJ. If you don't mind me asking, Where in NJ are you and which prison is he in? If you are close enough we could talk or have coffee or something. Just so you know you have friends and are not alone.
Andrea

[blnre]

thanks everyone for all your advice i really needed it it's just im not usto him not being hoem like i said he's always has been and i talkt o him on christmas he called and i just started balling out crying cause he was so apoligentic and crying on the other line i just can't help it

[one_luv]

Blne,
Welcolme to pto. Many of us have been where you are at. What helped me the most was once my husband's trial was over was to change jobs to one that kept very busy and none of my co-workers knew. I was able to come to work on focus on my work, not on loosing him.
Regarding your family, they will never understand your choices, nor likely will anyone who has not been in this situation. I learned to let it go, and I don't talk about him to others I know do not support my decision to remain beside him.
It will get easier.
oneluv

[coolchik4sure]

WELCOME to PTO!

Ditto to what everyone has said! You never get past them being gone...you learn to cope with the change. It takes times to adjust, and unfortunately, no way to rush that adjustment period.

Keep yourself busy, and just know it's okay to miss them, and to cry. Give yourself a break, and know what you are going through is normal!

[busman]

Blnre,
You have an inner strength that you have yet to tap into. You are stronger than the situation but it sucks going it alone. I know too well the family deal. If it had not been for God and some strong believers in the church, the hell I put my wife through could have ended us, but we made it and you will too. We are living proof that it does get better.
Welcome to pto. We look forward to seeing you in the future.

[jaki]

Please don't do this to yourself. YOU WILL MAKE YOURSELF SICK. I developed a chronic illness not long after my husband went to prison. He was my best friend, my only real friend. I didn't know how I could keep breathing. My soul was sick so eventually my body followed. I read a writer that said that is how many people get diseases and chronic illnesses. Because they can't cope and eventually it takes it's toll. Stay with the group, write poetry, read, take a class, find an outlet, please. I didn't have this group when it first happened to me. Get up, stop crying. You can't change what has happened. From the deepest part of my soul I am telling you to find a way to deal with this. Please read my book, I want to tell you how I felt when he went to court and watching my man be sentenced to much more time than your man's four years. I want to tell you how it felt like he had died when I packed up our things and moved out of our place because I knew I couldn't live there without him. I want to also tell you how I got sick and what illness I am fighting as well as why I know it has something to do with this issue. I also want to tell you how I got stronger. How I earned my stripes. (sisterpublishing.com) AND, if you need a friend, please email me (info from website.) May God truly help you. Lastly, I have never been as sincere as I am right now when I say this, don't stay in the sorrow, you just can't.

And also, pray. These is much peace in the valley of prayer.

Originally Posted by blnre

my faincee was sentenced in october for 4 years he was not only my best friend and faince he was my world and life as well eer since we started out as friends when we met we have yet to be apart now i don't recieve calls i sit home and stare at the wall and at work i get so upset cause i am in a office by my self for hours time to think about him usto being there i am seriously loosing my mind i talk to him maybe 1 time since he was away he writes but it's not the same when we talk on the phone the one time in 3 months we did i was speechless i was just so happy to hear his voice i seriously just cry i can't eat i can't sleep i cant do nothing but cry and write i write him 10-20 letters a day everyday have yet to stop or cut back i need help on coping with this family and friends are no good anymore they have all told me to gt over it and move on

[marriola482]

Welcome to PTO! I felt the same way (crying all the time, etc) when my boyfriend first went off and that was in November. No, it does not get easier but you will find that this site is so entirely helpful in coping with the situation because we all understand.